Would anyone be

Chatterbox: Blab About Books

The Five Doors Series: Book 1 (in need of a title)
Would anyone be...

Would anyone be interested in reading my book-in-the-making/Camp NaNoWriMo April project? If so, comment here, and chapter one will be out shortly. Here's a bit about it:

~ Summary: When Via Johnson gets a chance to go to the school of her dreams, she happily takes it. But will this strange school, located in Longcrag Manor, really be all that it seems? One day, Via discovers five strange doors in an upper room in a turret. . .this can only lead to chaos.

~ Fun Fact: The spark for the idea came to me late at night in the form of a mental scene in which five children sat together in a room, each with different quirks (A.K.A., scene from chapter two).

~ The first chapter was spur-of-the-moment, including the invention of the sky tram!

I had a thread for this before on Inkwell, but it sank after I stopped posting as frequently. I was hoping to keep this thread up easier on BaB, so I'm gonna try my best, even if I write at a slow pace.

So, please, comment telling me if you'd like me to share my story! 

submitted by Leeli
(April 6, 2017 - 7:23 pm)
submitted by Yes plz shAre!, Esquire
(April 6, 2017 - 8:54 pm)

Alrighty! First chapter out soon!

submitted by Leeli
(April 9, 2017 - 9:56 am)

Yes, please! I'd love to hear your story! Maybe call it Longcrag Manor?

submitted by Lightning!
(April 9, 2017 - 12:35 pm)

Oh yes, I'd love to read it! Please share it!

:)

~Leafy 

submitted by Leafpool
(April 9, 2017 - 1:28 pm)

Hmm, I'll think about the title, Lightning! Thanks guys! I'll post the first chapter right now!

Chapter One

THUD

____________________~~~~~______________________

 

I sat calmly in the sky tram as it rattled along the line. The distance from myself to the ground didn't bother me much, and neither did the fact that if the sky tram happened to snap off the flimsy line, I would plummet 30,000 feet to my death. I didn't really mind, either, that looking out the window, an eerily empty chasm waited silently for my doom. Ok, maybe I was a little worried by the prospect, but I remained calm and composed for the entirety of my ride, bumpy and creaky or not. As the noisy sky tram made its way slowly along the line, a tall stone building materialized out of the mist. It looked out of place on the rocky mountainside, towering up unevenly, and yet, it also looked like it belonged. Longcrag Manor.

I thought it strange that the academy should be located inside a manor; let alone a manor on the edge of a giant ravine. If anyone knew that the transportation to the school was by way of a sky tram on a rattling line, they'd never permit children to come here. I realized that was probably the reason why the only part of travel they ever specified about was the limousine ride. I shivered, wondering what other strange secrets waited for me at the academy, and wondering if I was maybe a little too enthusiastic to enroll. 

I took a mental picture of the strangely interesting building so that I would make certain not to forget it. I had a very good memory, and could lock things into my brain and make them stay there forever. It was strange--but then again, I liked strange.  

The sky tram jolted to a stop, hurling me to the other side of the car. I stood up and shook myself off, a little shaken from the bump, but otherwise in tact. The doors of the tram car slid open squeaking, and I stepped out onto a platform. The platform that I had stepped onto was old and creaky, much like the tram car, and I wasn't exactly eager to tread on the rotting planks of the bridge, especially since the consequences of falling could, and would, be fatal. But nevertheless, I didn't let it get to me, and resolved to put my total and complete trust in the unstable bridge. After all, it had lasted this long, hadn't it? What could a few more light steps from a girl my size do?

I walked swiftly but softly along the bridge, my heart skipping a beat every time the boards squeaked, and many of the boards were missing, but eventually, after what seemed like a thousand years, I made it across the treacherous platform and onto solid ground. I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding, and walked on. The ground was rocky and bumpy, but I was much more comfortable here than on either the rotting bridge, or in the rusty old sky tram. I reached a long pathway made of stones of different sizes and shapes, all worn with age and many feet treading upon them. 

I trotted briskly along until I reached some large, oaken double doors. I reached out and pressed the big brass doorbell. Silence. It wasn't surprising in the quietness that had been ringing in my ears since I was brought here, though I had been expecting sound. I resorted to the doors, hoping they were unlocked. They were as heavy as they looked, and once I had a firm grip on the shiny brass handles, it took me three tries until I finally heaved both doors open. 

"Hello?" I called into darkness. 

No one seemed to be here, or if they were, they were hiding. The lights were off, and a damp and musky scent made its way into my nostrils. The grim silence was getting to me, and a cool breeze sent chills down my spine. I wrapped my thin jacket tighter around my body and turned to leave. If there was no one here, there was no reason to stay, either. Although it didn't make any sense, the call must have been a hoax. I would've gone home, told my family, and after dinner, curled up in bed with my chicken. And after that my life would've gone on as usual. As if the phone call had never come, I had never been brought here, never ridden in the sky tram, never gone across the chasm on a rotting old bridge, and never tried the door. At least that's what would've happened. 

If I didn't hear a THUD behind me. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Sorry about the length! Enjoy! 

 

 

submitted by Leeli
(April 9, 2017 - 7:44 pm)
submitted by Oo da toppy, age W/ lil , John wlking thro de forst
(April 9, 2017 - 9:19 pm)

This looks really cool! Please post it!

submitted by Shoshannah
(April 10, 2017 - 6:07 pm)

Thank you! The first chapter is already out! ;-)

submitted by Leeli
(April 10, 2017 - 8:11 pm)

I love it so far! I love all your descriptions. :) A suggestion that I only make because I used to do the same thing: try not to use so many commas in one sentence! Instead of saying, for example, "the platform that I had stepped onto was old and creaky, much like the tram car, and I wasn't especially eager to tread on the rotting planks of the bridge, especially because the consequences of falling could, and would, be fatal", try "Much like the tram car, the platform that i had stepped onto was old and creaky. I wasn't especially eager to tread on the rotting planks of the bridge, espeically because the consequences of falling could-- and would-- be fatal". Please don't feel like you have to take my advice! This is a great story and YOU, not me (I?), are the writer. Keep writing! I can't wait to read more! :)

~Starseeker 

submitted by Starseeker, age 154 moons, Nightwing Kingdom
(April 11, 2017 - 9:10 am)

Thanks, Starseeker! I'll try to keep that in mind! And I have to agree, I do go a little comma crazy sometimes. XD It's probably one if my biggest writing problems. 

submitted by Leeli
(April 11, 2017 - 12:20 pm)

This is amazing! Great job, Leeli. I can't wait for the next part!

submitted by Leafpool
(April 15, 2017 - 12:08 pm)

Thank you! :D The next part should be out shortly!

submitted by Leeli
(April 15, 2017 - 2:31 pm)

Yay!

submitted by Leafpool
(April 16, 2017 - 11:55 am)
Chapter Two
The Academy         ___________________~~~~~_____________________
I whirled around, my hazelnut-brown hair whipping me in the face. I brushed it out of the way. 
I stared at two closed doors. The sight of two closed would ordinarily be the most normal thing anyone could ever see. That is, except for the fact that I forgot to close the doors behind me when I walked away from the towering building.
And that no one that I knew of was there to close the doors. 
That left only two reasons for the doors to have closed. Either they closed by themselves, or the wind blew them closed. But the wind was much to light a breeze to close doors of that size and weight. So that left only one reason that the doors should close with a THUD. They did it themselves. I should have thought it over more carefully, but no, this time my curiosity won out over my good sense, and I entered the manor once more. 
If I hadn't barged in, eyes wide and mind beckoning, I might have given more thought to how light the doors were this time in. All of a sudden, the doors slammed shut, and everything went pitch black. 
I screamed. 
I might not have been afraid of heights, rickety bridges, self-closing doors, or strange buildings, but if there was one thing in the world that could shake me up (and probably the only thing) it was the dark. As long as light was streaming in somewhere, I was okay, but this, this was just too much. I started groping around frantically for a light switch, or a door, but all my hands latched onto was inky blackness. I screamed again. The darkness surrounded me, enshrouded me, enclosed me, it seemed to swallow me and everything good and pure. I began to cry in agony. I would be stuck here forever, alone, in the dark, and no one would know where I was or how to find me. There was no way out, no way to find light. I could never see the sunny daylight again! I sighed. 
Suddenly I heard an ominous snort (if a snort can be called ominous). The lights switched back on, and before me stood a small pink hog, dappled with brown-grey patches and a snout from which two dull looking tusks protruded, purple like the rest of its snout. It's hind legs were on the floor, while one foreleg rested on the wall, and the other rested on a light switch. After I had gotten over my initial shock, I burst into laughter. I was laughing so hard I couldn't stop. It felt good to laugh after what seemed like utter despair. I was laughing partly at the pig and his strange purple snout, partly at myself, for being so irrational and silly, and partly at the whole situation which seemed utterly ridiculous. 
After my fit of laughter was over, and the pig had stopped staring at me like I was a maniac, I began to take mental pictures. I started with the pig, I wouldn't want to forget him, of course, and then moved on to the building itself. It seemed quite like an eighteenth century mansion, with exquisite paintings on the walls and murals on the ceiling, and fine craftsmanship on the furniture and staircases. It was old, but not abandoned. 
Someone must live here. 
But the Academy? How could this be it?
All of a sudden, tall butler (he looked so much like the butler type I couldn't think of him as anything but a butler) in a suit walked out and saw me looking around at the place as if I were on a tour. 
"Excuse me miss, can I help you with anything?" I jumped at the sudden sound of a different voice than the hog's and my own. 
It was then that I noticed his accent. He must have been the one that gave me the phone call.  
"Oh, oh, I'm sorry, no, am I interrupting anything?" I said, quite flustered. 
"No, not at all. Are you here for anything in particular?" 
I regained my manners and answered, "Yes sir, I'm here for the try outs. For the Upton Academy for Accelerated Minds?" I didn't have any proof that I had been called, and I only hoped the man would remember that he called me. 
"Ah, right this way miss."  
I silently thanked the Lord that I he hadn't objected. 
He led me up the stairs into a large room filled with soft looking furniture and bright colors. The second floor was much more modern, and didn't look like it belonged in the same house as the first floor with its antique decor and old-fashioned design. 
"This is the waiting room, miss. Mr. Salt will be seeing you shortly." 
With that, the butler left, and I settled myself in a cushioned white chair in the center of the room. I looked around, trying to get my bearings. At the front of the room was a desk, like at a hotel lobby. In fact, the entire room looked like a hotel lobby. On a small white love seat in the corner of the room sat a girl around thirteen. She had mid-length blonde hair in two braids with what looked like natural streaks of brown, pretty blue eyes, and ivory skin. She wore strange but fashionable clothes, and looked shy. She checked her watch before casting a nervous glance across the room to the front desk. 
Beside her, on a sofa by the big window in the room, sat a pudgy boy with large gray eyes and very little hair. He was eating a banana. He also had a blue backpack with bananas on it, and I wondered if he kept extra bananas in it in case of emergency. Beside him on the couch was a girl. 
This wouldn't have been strange in itself, but what made it strange was that she was pink. Yes, entirely pink. She had birthday cake pink sneakers, peach pink sweatpants, a speckled pink belt, a pale pink shirt that said PINK, hot pink lip stick, bubble gum pink blush, ballet pink eyeshadow, and neon pink steaks in her hair. 
When she caught me staring at her, she smiled her pink smile and waved one pink-polished hand. I smiled back, then caught sight of another boy sitting on one cushion of a small couch. He was your average tween boy, brown hair, tall lanky figure, freckles, blue eyes, but something about him told me he wasn't all what he seemed. And neither was anyone else here. They had probably all gotten the phone call, too. 
I remembered this morning:
It had started out as an average day; I woke up to the sweet chirping of the chickadee which lived outside my window, threw my covers in a heap on the floor, and breathed a happy sigh. Today was Saturday, which meant no school! My sister and I were homeschooled, but even that wasn't quite like weekends. 
I threw on some clothes, and bounded downstairs to eat breakfast. As soon as I descended the stairs, I could already hear the incessant cheeping of the chicks in the brooder beside the wall. My parents owned a hatchery, you see, and we usually had chicks in, especially in the spring. I had plenty of work every day due to all the chickens in our house (and outside), but it was fun work, unlike the boring household chores all the neighbor kids got. 
As for human friends, they weren't plentiful in my life, but I did have my chicken, Hettie, who I'd raised from a chick. She was the smallest one in the brood, and when my dad told me she couldn't be sold due to being born without any eyes, I told him I'd raise her myself. We bonded instantly and we've been best friends ever since. Hettie has her disadvantages, such as constantly bumping into things, and causing no end of trouble for me, but being born without eyes wasn't her choice, so I figure I might as well put up with it. 
I pushed through the sliding barn door that was just past the brooder and rest of the hatchery. The barn door separated our kitchen and breakfast room from the store. 
"What's for breakfast?" I asked my mom as I took a seat beside my sister at the table.
"Eggs and bacon, straight from Scarlet." She replied. 
Scarlet was Jenny's chicken. 
My sister giggled.
"She doesn't lay bacon mom!"
My mom shook her head. 
"She was talking about the eggs, Jenny." I replied. 
"I know that!" She said haughtily, folding her arms to glare at me. 
I shot back an eye roll before returning to my breakfast. But before my sister and I could get into a real argument, the phone rang. 
Both our forks clattered to the table as we raced for the old yellow telephone in the wall. It was a sort of rivalry we had; who cold get the phone first. 
"I've got it! I've got it!" I yelled. 
Then I picked it up. 
"Hett Street Hatchery, how can we help you today?" I said brightly into the speaker. 
A fuzzy voice came through the receiver. "This is a classified message for the ears of Miss Via Larissa Arlon only." I sucked in my breath. The use of my full name indicated that this was indeed very important. 
"Yes? Please continue. This is her." I glanced across the room, expecting my mom to correct my grammar as she always did, but instead she just studied my face with a concerned expression. 
"You have been selected to try out for the Upton Academy For Accelerated Minds, the most prestigious and well-known school in the country."
My heart skipped a beat. It was my life's dream to go to this academy. I had only spent two years reading every brochure and collecting all the information I could about the UAFAM, not to mention taking three online courses. Unfortunately, I was never permitted to enroll in the school for one simple reason:
I had never been called. 
But now was my chance. After getting over my initial shock, a large smile spread across my face. It wasn't until the voice came back through the receiver that I remembered I was still on the phone. 
"Hello? Are you still there, Miss Arlon?" I jolted a bit at the sound of my real last name; not that I didn't know I wasn't a real Johnson; it was only that I wasn't used to being called by anything except my adopted last name. 
"Oh, yes! T-thank you! Thank you!"
"I take it that you will be joining us shortly?"
"Yes! I accept! I certainly accept!"
With that I slammed the yellow phone down, startling myself, and then picked it up slowly to make sure I hadn't broken it. Then I set it back down, gently this time, and smiled wryly at my mom. 
"Who was that, Sweetie?" She asked. 
"Oh, no one." I tried to act nonchalant as I walked over to her slowly. 
"Only the Upton Academy For Accelerated Minds!" I half-shrieked. 
My mom immediately grabbed my hands and we began to jump up and down, squealing. 
It took a moment for the news to sink in with my sister, but when it did, she just stood up with her arms crossed and humphed. 
"I don't see what's so great about a far-away boarding school with a fancy name," she scowled. 
I rolled my eyes, but I was too exited to be truly irritated. 
"Jenny, this school is special. You can do more of what you love, make friends with the same interests as you, go at your own pace, follow your dreams!" 
She stared at me a moment, then nodded slowly. 
"I guess. But I still like homeschool."
I thought about what my sister said for a moment and wondered. Am I really prepared for this? I had been homeschooled my entire life, except for going to preschool once, and that was a horror story. I hadn't really experienced school before, but I'd heard awful things about it; public school especially. But UAFAM isn't like public school, I reminded myself. 
A sleek black limousine came the next morning to pick me up. I picked up my suitcase and slung my tote bag over my shoulder. They were my only bags other than my backpack. I had kissed Hettie goodbye, and made my parents promise to take good care of her and all the other chicks. I told Jenny that Hettie's nest was in my closet, and that it was her responsibility to collect the eggs so that they didn't rot. 
Then I hugged my parents and my sister, and promised to write every week and call them before bed. Then I descended the front steps, walking straight toward the limousine. The driver stepped out of the car and opened my door for me. 
"Please have a seat, miss."
I cast one last glance at my family on the stoop, waving and smiling. I knew I would need that memory to get me through the next few weeks without them. Then I took a deep breath, and climbed into the limousine.
We drove for a long while, and it was mostly quiet, with the occasional attempts at conversation from the driver, and who, after many one-worded answers, must have figured out that I just needed to think. I lost track of time for a bit until we stopped just before a large ravine. The driver came around the side of the car and opened my door, which I took as a signal to get out. Confused, I walked to the edge of the cliff and looked over. I shivered. It was a long way down. Just then I noticed a little wooden platform, with a ramp that led up some sort of car suspended on a line which was stretched across the ravine. An old sign read Sky Tram: Enter here. I wasn't sure if I wanted to, but when I looked around, the limousine and driver were gone. 
I was alone. 
And that was when I decided to enter the sky tram that brought me here. 
I cast a glance over at the front desk. No one was at the desk, as you would suspect. Instead, a neat stack of business cards were arranged in a card holder on top of the desk, and a phone sat there, waiting to be used. There wasn't a trace of human life near that desk, and I began to wonder what it was for, when the pig marched into the room from the desk, and handed me a piece of golden paper (using his mouth of course; he didn't have opposable hooves). He did the same for the other children. Mine read: Mr. Salt wishes to see Miss Via Larissa Johnson in his office alone to question her. 
I decided that's what all the papers said, because all the children got up and followed the pig, including myself. He led us down a long hallway, which ended in five doorways. The first doorway was blue and had a banana above it. The short fat kid immediately rushed in. The next doorway had the word PINK written over it in sparkly fuchsia lettering. The pink girl's jaw dropped, and she looked at the pig. He nodded to her, and she walked happily in. The next door had a Swedish flag above it, and the shy girl walked through, looking confused. That's when I realized she must be Swedish or something. Hmm. Strange. The next doorway had a strange emerald crest on it, and I looked as confusedly at it as the one boy left did. Then he shot a glance at the last doorway. A camera. I felt sure this one was for me, but the boy took one good look at the green emblem above this door, and rushed through the other. I groaned inwardly. I loved to take photos, and so far everyone's doorways had had something above them to do with their interests. And what this emerald symbol had to do with the strange boy, I had no idea, but I was sure it had even less to do with me! Reluctantly, I marched through the only doorway left. Knowing it was the wrong one sent a ripple of dread through my stomach. What would happen? Would I be tested unfairly? Sent home, all because of this stranger who made a mistake? But I forgot the incident altogether when I saw what was ahead of me. 
submitted by Leeli
(April 16, 2017 - 12:04 pm)

Sorry, I can't read it all right now because I'm pressed for time, but I'm excited to see what happens!

submitted by Leafpool
(April 17, 2017 - 5:17 pm)