First Sentence Contest

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First Sentence Contest...

First Sentence Contest

 

This is an idea I came up with in an attempt to help revive BaB!

I will provide a summary of an invented book (it doesn't have to be actually written, just a book idea -- and it cannot be an already published book).  Then you will post a sentence that you think would make a good first sentence for the book.

Remember, first sentences are very important.  It's what pulls you in and keeps you reading.  Books with good first sentences are usually very good. 

Deadline is October 16.  I will judge on the 17.  Whoever wins first place will be the next judge.  If you win first place and would rather not judge please tell me and the role of judge will go to the second place winner.

Let me know if you have any questions or suggestions!  I look forward to reading your first sentences.

Story Summary:

Humans have finally landed on Mars.  The human habitat is encased in domes of transparent material.  Drones big enough to transport people fly around, hovering above the surface of Mars. Contact with Earth is strong and extremely important.  Everything is going well, until contact with Earth ceases.  No one knows why and things are tense.  When one of the transparent domes start leaking the precious air into the Mars atmosphere the tenseness escalates at an alarming pace. There isn't enough oxygen and supplies to share with others for long.  Groups of humans turn against other groups.  Everyone is blaming another and nothing towards fixing the problems is being done.  Sevianna -- a young girl born on Mars who has never seen or set foot on Earth -- realizes that something must be done.  The adults aren't doing anything, so she gathers the other Martian children.  Together they must save the human habitat and reconnect with Earth.  It is a daunting task and many children give up.  Soon only Sevianna and three other children are left trying to fix the problems.  Can so few do it?  Or are they doomed with the rest of the humans on Mars?

submitted by Peregrine, age Many moons, The Eyrie
(October 6, 2020 - 10:25 am)
submitted by two sentence limit!
(November 23, 2020 - 3:18 pm)

Parker didn't know what she was getting herself into, and she fully regretted agreeing to it. Especially now that she knew her entire life was apparently an illusion.

submitted by Luminescence, age 12, Atlantis
(November 23, 2020 - 1:29 pm)

Jackson stared at the girl before him who he was supposed to be helping, the girl who was apparently his cousin. She had stick-straight brown hair with pale skin and a small figure, and she still looked shaken even though she had encountered the force for the first time weeks ago.

submitted by Twilight
(November 25, 2020 - 1:21 pm)

"I hate him and he hates me, so I don't see why we have to exorcise a demon together," Parker snapped.

submitted by Rainbow Riot
(November 29, 2020 - 10:20 pm)

Judging is on the 1st of December!

submitted by Bakerloo, age 16.5, here
(November 30, 2020 - 8:47 am)

My name is Parker Mallory. I was named for my uncle, the man who donated a thousand dollars to the Cape Lagelead Park Fund, and, until yesterday, I didn't think it was possible to have anything more humiliating happen to me.

submitted by Morning, yonder
(November 30, 2020 - 7:07 pm)

The moment you've all been waiting for is here! (A day late, I know. Apologies, I was busy.)

I had so much fun reading everyone's sentences! All of y'all are such funny and creative people, and it was a pleasure to judge this. So without further ado, here's the results! 

HONORABLE MENTIONS: (in no particular order): Luminescence and Miss Autumn!

This was really close, but I wanted to give these two a mention. Lumi, I'm a sucker for first sentences involving a character's feelings on an "it" that we don't know the identity of. The reason that I didn't score it higher is that I felt that the second sentence was a little similar to mine from the last prompt, and I didn't want to make things too repetitive. Miss Autumn, I love how much information we're given in the space of three sentences -- it really gives the whole thing a "stream of consciousness" feeling, and you're immediately immersed in the world and wanting to know more about Parker and this mysterious cousin of hers. I did ask for two sentences, however. Great work, both of you!

THIRD PLACE: Rainbow Riot!

This one is really funny and really nerve-wracking at the same time! The reader really gets a feel for Parker's personality in just under twenty words, and mentioning the demon right away is an excellent hook. There's a sense of urgency and mystery in this scene that immediately put me on edge, and for that I commend you! 

SECOND PLACE: Morning!

Have you ever read Homer Price by Robert McCloskey? Your sentence reminds me of that book a lot. I almost want to know what you would do with this story next. How much harm can a simple park fund donation do? I also appreciate how you establish the character of Parker and the location, and the pairing of such a simple sentence like "My name is Parker Mallory" with the bizarre second line is wonderfully odd and makes me want to read more. Have a cookie! You've earned it. 

FIRST PLACE: Silver Crystal! 

Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow. How do I put this? This is freakishly good. There are so many questions that I now want to know the answers to. How do Jackson and Parker know each other? What's happened to Parker? What does she need help with? I need answers fast, and I wrote the goshdarn prompt! You should be extremely proud of yourself; this is an outstanding piece of writing!

Since Silver Crystal got first place, she gets to give us the next prompt. Thank you to everyone who submitted a sentence for making my job so hard. I'll read you guys around! Toodles!

*disappears in a burst of purple sparks* 

submitted by Bakerloo, age 16.5, here
(December 2, 2020 - 12:39 pm)

Thank you! I think I have read Homer Price, although it wasn't for a couple of years, and now you have made me need to reread it. I can see why you might connect my sentences with it, I think. If I'm remembering the right book. Thank you for the cookie!

submitted by Morning, yonder
(December 2, 2020 - 1:14 pm)

OH WOW was not expecting that! Everyone else was soo good. Thanks so much Bakerloo, I'm so happy you liked it :) I'll post the next prompt later today, once I think of a good one. 

submitted by Silver Crystal, age Infinity, Milky Way
(December 2, 2020 - 1:57 pm)

Congrats Silvercrystal! You so deserve it! Thanks for the honorable mention even though I exceeded the limits!!

submitted by Miss Autumn, age 10, Shimmer City
(December 2, 2020 - 4:19 pm)

Here's the next promt:

Aspen and her father live in a post apocolyptic world where the wealthy are locked inside protected cities and the poor, such as Aspen, have to scavenge for parts and metal in the wreckage of cities that once dominated the mainland. Aspen and her father reside in the massive ruins of a great city, New York City, though neither of them know nor particularly care about the destroyed city's history.

One day, while scavenging, Aspen gets sperated from her father while looking through what used to be the Statue of Liberty, but when she exits the massive structure, she finds herself seemingly transported back in time to 21st century NYC, complete with tourists and taxis and crowded apartments. While Aspen is confused and disoriented by her new surroundings, she knows one thing for sure: Even though the oblivious New Yorkers don't know it, the downfall and destruction of the city is right around the corner, and Aspen needs to get back to her own time before then. But as she spends more time in the city, she starts to wonder if maybe there is a chance she could stop the city from being destroyed and build a better life for her and her father there, instead of wasting their years scavenging. 

She only has a week or so before history repeats itself. Will she put everything on the line to save the city from it's destruction or make her way home before she is taken down as well?

Sorry if this was confusing I just kinda made it up now, sooo yeah. Can't wait to see what you guys come up with! 

submitted by Silver Crystal, age Infinity, Milky Way
(December 2, 2020 - 10:52 pm)

When I walked out of the Statue of Liberty, the first thing I saw was a large, yellow, metal bug with see-through eyes. Apparantly, the bug had eaten three people.

This is either really good or really bad, and I can't decide which. And it's describing a taxi, in case that was unclear.

submitted by Morning, yonder
(December 3, 2020 - 12:26 pm)

Haha that's awesome.

submitted by Lupine, Platform 9 and 3/4
(December 5, 2020 - 8:39 pm)

Here are my sentences! (also when is the due date?) And to think I was having a normal week. Let me explain my name is Aspen Miller and welcome to the apocalypse.

submitted by Miss Autumn, age 10, Shimmer City
(December 3, 2020 - 9:05 am)

"Is she holding a blowtorch?" Aspen asked in amazement, staring up at the enormous decrepit statue.

submitted by Rainbow Riot
(December 3, 2020 - 11:39 am)