I love these things. Here are some of mine:

- Me to my friend Molly- "Yeah, we've been married for about three years." Teacher randomly walking by: "Congratulations!!!"

- (we had to write poems in English class) Me:  "Let me guess. Yours was about...." *waves hands around like a fortune teller* " THE BEATLES!!!" A: *gasps* "HoW did you KNOW!?"

- Girl I know (but don't really like): "Yeah, and A was talking all about *swoony voice* Jooohhhnn Lennnnnnoooooooonnnnn..."

- Me: "Can you pickle a pickle?" S: " No, idiot, but you can pickle a RED HOT CHILI PEPPER!!!" Me: "This obsession has gone too far."

- R: "Where's Mr. L (the art teacher)?" Me: "Probably with David Bowie." S: "Where though? Mars, general space, the Labyrinth, Arizona, my closet-" R: "Wait, what!?" S: *looks away guilty* "Nooothing."

I love these threads!!

"Victory stole your sucking disc."

*trips down ramp* "Darn heels!"

"IIIIIIICCCEEE CREEEEEEEAM!!!!!!!!!"

"YAAAAAAAAAH!"

"It's mafia."

"Little did Jill know, Jack was really a giant in disguise!"

*pokes rock* "AAAAAAAH SPIDER OH MY wait, it's just a rock."

Jeremy Jill Anthony Jordan

"THEY ONLY COUNTED TO SEVEN" 

First off: musical related things. 

I love to annoy my friends by singing or texting them; "go and look it up the poor GUYS head is SPINNING!" Over and over and over again, and like the awesome friends they are, they usually join in. Let's see, well we once started chanting, "ERSTER! ERSTER! ERSTER!" spontaniously when we were trying to get my friend to do her best Racetrack impersonation.

"*Accidentally sets off 21 Pilots* Oops, sorry Hamilton, sir!"—Autumn Leaves

And then some other random stuff:  

"HEATHBAR TOWNHOUSE!" 

"I'm sailin' on a pink and green boat, and I'm wearing my pink and green coat, I'm talking to a pink and green Pope, who's petting his pink and green goat—" My cousin, who goes by the name of Queen Elizabeth on the CB. Don't even ask what that was about. I still have no idea.

"I don't know what an umbrella is! I just moved her from Lithuania!" 

"You know, your parents always tell you, don't forget to tie your show, and don't talk to strangers, but they never tell you; hey, never forget you're tangible."

*handing me her crutches* "Hey, you hold the weapons."   

And there is so much more but my brain is dead right now and Ineed to go learn about the philosophical camps of the North and South during the Civil war. Yay for conciliators, unionists, radicals, constotutionalist, sessionists, and fire-eaters! Okay, I'm going to stop now, sorry, I'm so tired.  

These are all so funny!!

I remembered another one;

Teacher: "What do you picture when you think of love?" Everyone says normal things. Me and my friend together: "Taco Bell hot sauce. *high five.*"

It's... a loooong story. 

"Hey, orange peel's not even that bad." "Yes, it is!" "Yeah, you're right, it is." *violently spits out orange peel*

"Nancy Wheeler. What a wet mop."

"Haha, got you- my name is Beatrice!" "Why is every name you come up with some sort of old lady name?"

"Guys, I taught Faith how to do an aerial!" "Well, you didn't really teach me. You just demonstrated after making fun of me for ten minutes."

*singing while holding out hand theatrically* "Reach for my hand, cause it's held out for you..." *highfives* 

"Actually, I do have a crush on this guy... here, I'll show you a picture." "I can't tell if he's cute from the back of his head!" "Well, you can tell he's muscular, right?" "All I can see is the back of his head."

My school play has started, which means that I'm going to get a lot of weird sayings from my theater friends!

—— 

"He's so uptight, if you stuck a lump of coal in his mouth it'd come out a diamond."

"Your cousin just died!" "I didn't know him that well!"

"I'm asthma girl and these are my asthma-friends."

"I'm going to break your neck!" "You're not tall enough to reach my neck."

"Playing basketball doesn't make you cool, it just makes you a loser who plays basketball."

"I'm gonna freeze to death." "Great, maybe we can get a better cellist."

"And now I'm going to impersonate Bruno Mars impersonating Shakira."

"Where is ze chocolate? I have come to ingest."

"My pineapples are green! My pineapples are green, they're also red and puple too, cause there not pineapples!"

I have no idea how this happened, but it did. 

Today:

"Yeah, I ate citrus fruit for an hour straight."

"We're going to Panera for lunch." "YAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHWHHOOOOOOOOP! GGGGGAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAA."

"Norah, proper table manners include not inhaling your soup." 

"Well, the grapefruit was pretty good...I nearly died from choking on it, but otherwise it was good."

"If I give you $0.10, will you give me my book back?" 

"Every time I look at something black, I see chocolate." "Geez, that sounds like a severe obsession. Someone call the doctor."

"Nissan! Nissan! Nissan! And a Jeep!"

"47-48-49-50. I quit." 

"We will not sit nor stand nor lie down for this!"

"The closet is the best place to hide a body." "How the heck would you know that?" "Uhh... movies."

"Noodling around in the stratosphere"

"How are we supposed to get into the arts building?" "Take one of Todd's hammers and break the glass"

"I just had a vision of you in your jeans and red sweater holding the last Harry Potter book over a robber and shouting, 'I'm gonna kill you!'"

"Now we just need Owen." "No one needs Owen."

"We may have found Odysseus, but now my shoes are missing."

"Fight me" "Gladly" "No please don't hurt me I'm innocent"

"Daisy just went to Sephora, I wouldn't go near it." 

"I told Grace that her cookie was my husband so she wouldn't eat it, but she ate it anyway. Grace, how could you eat my husband?"

"He said my name should be Osmund, so I thought, what goes with Osmund? And it's obviously Lord. So my name is Lord Osmund now."

"Yeah, Jack forgot to sign out of a school iPad, so I subscribed him to a YouTube channel of French poetry."

"I'm punching him because of literature."

"Why would I trust you? You just stole my water bottle ten minutes ago!" "But I gave it back after I stole it, so I'm trustworthy!"

"He has your name, so he is your future."

"When did Elphaba sing Ariana Grande songs?"

"I told her I'd give her candy if she stopped poking me, but now she's being annoying."