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Funny Things my
Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket
Funny Things my
Funny Things my Friends Have Said, which is either number five or six. I know Abi usually does this but I couldn't resist making another one, since they always make me laugh. Also, I've learned to write down funny things my friends & family say.
"You DON'T need to tell me where my FACE is."
"I cordiallly invite you to play Assassin's Creed tonight...no wait, scratch that, I'll eat toast."
"You should dye your hair light black!"
"I hit Inara!" "No, you hit the chair, and will you STOP THROWING THE CHICKEN!"
"My goat supply is secure!!"
"We're going to a Hunger Games tournament." "REALLY?" "No, it's just archery class." "Aww..."
"Does technology include Oreos? Just wondering."
"Kylo Ren is a shiny crab that SINGS."
-that time when my friend Sarah was describing her plan to become a hermit and live in a hut in the woods, (out of her exasperation with humanity) and our friend Maggie overheard the conversation, made an indignant expression, and said "Did you steal my plan?" and then said "Well, we'll just have to have a hermit rivalry, then."
"DEATH PICKLES."
"Guys! We need to go and set up lawn chairs in the mall and get into wizard robes and sit and Avada Kedavra everyone who walks by, and see how long we can go before the police show up and detain us."
"You read E-BOOKS??" "Yeah...?" "I OFFICIALLY HATE YOU."
"It was REALLY good, although I'm sure you could poke a dozen holes in the plot with a toothpick"
"I ended up pacing back and forth until like 1:00"
"Miraculous Ladybug Is The Only Repetitive Show I Like."
"I'm quite chuffed about how these characters have turned out."
submitted by Leafpool, age Finite, This side of reality
(February 16, 2018 - 4:47 pm)
(February 16, 2018 - 4:47 pm)
This is a perfect way to cheer me up!
Beware.....
"Hi the Katy Perry welcome the realm of egdy introverted weirdos who can do nothing but sing,draw,and avoid socailization!!"
"I'm sorry that I think your favorite M.A.P is a rainbow loom band that nobody wants" "What the heck?"
"Noooooo, your not my mom in this,Sadie is,but I want a nice mom and Sadie isn't being a nice mom" "I'll be your mom" "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"
"Wait so you're tellig me I can't be Abraham Lincoln when I grow up,I guess I'll be a warthog,thank you very much hmph"
"Wwwwwwwwoooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwww,Woooooooowwwwwwwww,All of you got the same incorrect answer" *Teacher checks the answer*"No they all got right and you're wrong Noah"
"God of Ferrets on tricicles why are there creepers now?"
Well that's all....for now ~click~
(March 1, 2018 - 8:24 am)
*in a high pitched baby voice* "Mwoy hopes have been cwushed--by a garbage twuck."
"What degrees is it out there?"
*walks downstairs and into the office* "Can I come down, Mom?"
(In a new group chat):
Gabby named the chat "Group Chag"
Gabby named the chat "Group Chay"
Gabby named the chat "Group Chat"
These are so funny!!XD
(March 1, 2018 - 4:10 pm)
Can I have context on the garbage truck one? XD
(March 9, 2018 - 8:31 am)
"Hey, remember me? I'm that hamburger you ate last Thursday!"
"I sound like an overrated underrated architect guy. Or a substitute principal."
"Never wear buckles because they are evil pizzas that will take your soul."
"We're making egg armor!"
(March 1, 2018 - 5:51 pm)
"Why'd you knock over the armchair!?"
"Mom! Avery called me a tattletale!"
"I'm a yoda!"
"If you don't stop... I will lick you."
"What do you love?" (Said in unison) "Static boogies and muddy cheesecake!"
"Let's play it again, but with my little pony."
"Oh, shoot, I forgot to eat today."
"I don't WANT diamond leggings!"
"Alright, everybody, let's get down to business. A dude is coming."
"Can you pleeeeaase make a mush pit?"
"There is a five pound bag of sugar free gummy bears for sale on Amazon. And they have reviews. Just... yeah. Sugar free gummy bears."
And finally:
"Cadbury cream eggs remind me of Genghis Khan."
(This thread is so great XD)
(March 1, 2018 - 8:31 pm)
~You know what really SNAPS MY CRAYON?
~Susan WILL hear about this!
~Not even Kevin will ever love me.
~If you sing to those bluebirs one more time...
~I SENSE A LOVE TRIANGLE!
~So I heard you have another rap for us...
That's all I have now.
(March 2, 2018 - 7:19 am)
Some ones from our P & H sessions (Prisons & Hydras, it's a spin-off of D & D)
"Oh, It's demented yoda again!"
"I will BAN the Golrpenfinkleshnortus!"
"Technically it's LA'ARP"
"The Dwarf Shopkeeper Cult did WHAT?!?!?"
"I cast BATMAN!"
"Why did you step on my fountain hat, jerk?!?"
"Send Lee into the Evil Cave, he's being a jerk!"
"Just waiting for the Ultimate King of Awesomeness to fix my GOSHDANG DOOR ALREADY!"
"Batman attempts to cast robin."
"Can I stand in the streets and yell, 'GIVE ME MONEY!'?"
(March 2, 2018 - 5:04 pm)
I just realized that there are a bunch of funny things said in my roleplaying club. Here are two that I can remember.
"We need to keep the plastic spoon of destiny from Baron McDonald's... at all costs."
"Okay, so your friends are being brutally attacked by ogres. What do you do?"
"Look for gold."
"I don't think there is very much gold there."
"Look harder."
"Your friend is being carried away by an orc."
"I want to keep looking for gold."
"BUT WE ALREADY TOLD YOU THERE'S NO GOLD THERE!!"
"And here comes FurFur the brave!"
(March 19, 2018 - 3:25 pm)
Oh, and:
"Couldn't you just open the door for once? Why do you keep bashhing it open?"
(March 19, 2018 - 3:27 pm)
"I have a crush on Sam!" "Yeah, I know, you've told me like twelve times already."
"Guys, guys, so I practically robbed the paint store of all their pink paint chips."
"Someone in the chat randomly yelled PORG JACKSON." "Ah. Intriguing."
"SLUSH! YAY!"
"Yeah so Anna broke her arm and shoulder while trying to snowboard on Tuesday." "Gosh, even I'm not that bad at snowboarding."
"So what I learned today is that basically all rich people are *(censored)*"
"They had a 50 pound fishtank. With a 50 pound stand."
"You're probably right, Superdude."
"Yeah, 'cause it's not like his lightsaber's super unique or anything. And who cares about his cool cape and arm wrappy things, *scoffs*. Who cares about that?"
"Yeah, whoohoo, I can rap like it's a rap song, I can rap rap whoo rap wahoo like it's a rap song and I'm soooo professional, whohoo, rap rap, oh yeah I'm rappin' I'm rappin' whohho, here's some explicit stuff, rap rap whahoo, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, um yeah, rap rap I'm rappin', whoo-hoo rap, rap, um....yeah."
--some of this is paraphrased.
(March 4, 2018 - 1:09 pm)
Gosh these are hilarious XD
Here are some more:
"testing, testing.. 1,2,3...7.." "Wait, what? Can this guy even count?"
"Are you fluttering between life and death?"
"Who do you like?" "Uhhhh my dog..."
"My cat does not have a disease! He IS a disease!!"
(Playing a prank on my friend K. He recently broke up with his girlfriend, I)
"Hey look there's I!" "What what?" Shes over there! See?" "Where??" "By the door!" "Oh crap!" *starts backing away slowly*
"If you wax too much, you could get sick!" "Yes, waxing is very dangerous." "It's addictive!" "Wait... How is waxing furniture addictive?"
"So, what are we doing?" "Ummm, we are going to build a wall." "OOH good idea!" "Around all the tables" "perfect then we don't have to serve anyone!"
"I am a chicken that knows how to SWIMMMMMMM!!!"
"BEWARE THE FINGER WORM IS COMING FOR YOUUUU"
"I like your fish" "Thanks!" "Hmm it looks like a worm" "What?" "Actually no.. A Dinosaur worm..." "ok...."
"well, Kama's dying again." "I keep asking what kinds of flowers he wants at his funeral, but he never answers!"
"What's the best tool?" "A KNIFE!!" *silence* "Ummm a PAINTING knife"
*heard in the background* "Shove a robot up my butt!" *me and Kama turn around* "WAIT, WHAT??!!"
"This katana will be passed down through the generations..." "Umm its a plastic stick." "SHUSH YOU SAW NOTHING"
"Uncle, your AC leaking!" "Eh no worries, you need one shower anyway."
(March 5, 2018 - 10:12 pm)
So, the last one was said online.
"I'm gonna go hijack a butt-scoot."
"Dying in a hole is better than dying."
*In stange muffled cartoony voice* "I'm todd the pickle. I have no brains. Hooray!"
"DISCO CATEZ OMIGOSH SASSY AHHHHHHHHHHH DUHHHHHH ARGHH PIRATE PARROTS EATING BANANAS AND BOB TOO OH LOOK MURDERPS A RARE SPECIMEN AHHHHHH OMIGOSH I'M DED AHHHHHHHH DEATH BLUE CATS AND BOB MIXED WITH SIMBERKITTEN AHHHHH AND WAS WEIRD CUZ HE HATED HITLER/ELI BOBNESS WHAT AM I DOINGGGGGGGGGG AHHH IVE GONE CRAZY ANDY TOOK MY MARBLES BLEHHHHHHHHHHHHH THROW UP AHHHHHH I'M WEIRD SPARROWFLIGHT EATING BANANAS AHHHH MONKEYS AND CATS SWINGING FROM VINES DUR DUR DUR I'M DED AHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
My CAPTCHA, Laylanie, says mycd. I don't own any CDs. I think thats you first word, if you can count it.
(March 8, 2018 - 10:28 am)
context on the last one? wait, did you say Simber? As in the flying cheetah from the Unwanteds? if so GO UNWANTEDS!!
(March 8, 2018 - 3:11 pm)
Some funny things my CB friends have said:
"I just got the random urge to throw peanut butter at your face."
"Lemons are delicious."
"I know. High school makes me wonder how long I will last also."
And that time when my friend and I were setting up for Mother/Daughter Night at our church and she was insisting on arranging the plastic easter eggs into flowers... "Her?! The flower is a her?" "Yes. The flower is a her, because flowers are girls." (Can't remember exactly what she said, but whatever.
"Here's Aslan."
"DICTIONARY."
"Wells Fargo is Dr. Wells, and Dr. Wells is Wells Fargo." (And yes, that is a reference to the Flash TV show.)
When during online math class(it's live), we were doing graphing equations and the thing where you graph two equations and they're lines on the graph, and they're parallel, and I said, as if to the problem, "YOU SHALL NOT BE SOLVED!!! *shakes Gandalf staff*", and my friend Bethany said, "So math is a balrog. I'm not surprised."
(March 8, 2018 - 4:25 pm)
She was procrastinating, I think...? Yes, I did say Simberkitten. I think it was an inside joke but I don't remember what it was. We have too many inside jokes XD. Hmm... the project had to with Nazi Germany, Catez was just something weird, Sparrowflight is a Warriors OC... Oh! and we did a math problem involving a guy named andy dropping marbles/ literally losing his marbles....
I read like the first 3 books of Unwanteds, but i kinda didn't like it. I mean, Alex was kinda a jerk...
(March 10, 2018 - 9:08 am)