Funny Things my

Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket

Funny Things my

Funny Things my Friends Have Said, because Leafy's one died but this idea is too good to not have a thread for. Post your funny things here!


-"Which joke is dirtier, Oliver's Cheetos or the fajitas?"

-"Keep it PG, we say *censored* here"

-"Rest in pieces, fidget pen." 

-"Can you do me a favor and put a 'kick me' sign on Oliver?"

-"Captain America is just a 100-year old guy on steriods with a frisbee"

-"You're so disappointed by my lack of Super Mario knowledge"

-Gavin: Eliza is just a girl with messy hair and insomnia

Me: Hey that's not wrong

-"If I saw Dear Evan Hansen my soul would become a pile of goo on the floor."

-"You look like Shrek"

-"I think Logan just called me mentally weak"

-"Oliver should run the 666-meter in track!"

-"This confetti sucks"

-"I am SORRY I do not know what a METHANE HYDRATE IS-" 

submitted by Soren Infinity, age 27 eons , BeaconTown
(April 27, 2019 - 11:05 am)

Haha! These are great!

Here are some from my Literacy class (Keep in mind we are supposed to be "gifted")

-Our Teacher: "Michael, you look uncomfortable. I'll give the class an extension."

-Our whole class chanting rhythmically: "wheel of doom! Wheel of doom! WHEEL OF DOOM! WHE-"

-Our Teacher: "Can someone go get my Jimmy Johns from the office?"

-"Sean, what does grass mean? Wait wait no" 

-"Not to be that cannibalism person again, but I'm just saying they probably ate her,"

-"Eight times five is negative eighteen"

-Our teacher: " Kate? Katie? I mean Kate- wait..."

-"Guys help me hide the books!" (our teacher walks in) "Nevermind..."

-Logan: "Sean is like a horse"

Sean: "I can't tell if that's a compliment or an insult"

Logan: "Like a work horse"

-"Why are you kissing your arm?"

-"He's just sitting there... sniffing the chair"

-Our teacher, screaming because of the spider in the classroom: "Don't swat at it, kill it! Logan, you imbecile!"

-"I'm a hungry boy" 

-"I enjoy the cold moistness of strawberries"

-Our teacher: "Because you all read the book-" 

Owen: "Tooootally..."

-"I'm gonna read this book SO HARD!"

-Our teacher: "Or, of course, if you lost yours because you're a delinquent-" 

submitted by The Girl Next Door, age 14, Washington
(April 27, 2019 - 12:51 pm)

"Is that a jar of dead bats in the corner?!"

"Well back in the days when I was a penguin, I walked headfirst into a truck -"

"Are you looking for brains? Sorry, I don't have any"

"Guys, I have something to say




"The guinea pig got whomped out of Harry Potter's lap!"

"Lionel is hideous."

"Haven't you died, like, twice?"

"No, more like five times . . . . . . "

"She took my pizza and left me!!!!"

"You're just a rated R little boy -"

"Rated R? Jiji, YOU'RE rated R!"

"Your nose is so squishy! Squish, squish"

"Help, my kneecap fell off again!" 

I just realized that some of those are things I said, but were repeated afterwards. Oh, well. I know there are funnier things, but those are the ones I remember. 

submitted by Spiffycat
(April 27, 2019 - 7:27 pm)

I forgot two really good ones!

-"GAVIN IS THANOS! He used the reality stone to disguise himself as a smol 11-year-old-boi and get information from me because I'm Captain America's girlfriend!"

-"Yup, nobody cares about C. He's just gonna become a homeless guy on the side of the road with a cardbaord sign saying "im hungry" and then everone will feel bad for him so they'll buy him greasy Mconald's burgers from the one-dollar menu." 

submitted by Soren Infinity, age 27 eons, BeaconTown
(April 27, 2019 - 10:45 pm)

”I like upbeat songs.”

”Can we PLEASE call someone Granny Puckins!? I’m putting a vote on C.”

”Hey, I’m a legend. Legends can stay up till the sun comes up.”

”You chillin’ talk so bloomin’ much! Foolish youngster! You know nothing of the world!” 

submitted by Leeli
(April 28, 2019 - 10:38 am)

Oh, I have so many of these. I may do this in multiple parts, because my friends say some wierd stuff, let me tell you.

-"Thanos is Ender Wiggin!"

-"Is the chair okay?"

-"Have a weekend."

-"She's in seventh grade!"

-"What year is it?"


-"I had to google what a pentagon was."

-"Are squares and circles the same shape, then?"

(If you want context on any of these, I am happy to explain!) 

submitted by Quill
(April 28, 2019 - 12:13 pm)

Ah, this thread's back! My legacy! I always love reading through all these.

• • • •

- "Why am I holding hot sauce in all of these photos? Someone AirDrop me some without the hot sauce."

- "My aunt Cathy overdosed on carrots." 

- "Nothing boosts your self esteem like hanging out with me."

- T: "What's your favorite non-water beverage?"

J: "The blood of people who unironically use emojis to express their emotions."

E: "Please stay away from my mom."

- "I like to use big words to sound more photosynthesis!"

- E: "11:11! Make a wish!"

P: "11:11! Distinctly imagine your ideal first-born child!"

- *completely deadpan* "No sarcasm at [school]. It's frowned upon by the administration."

- "Someone started playing a video of a crying bunny in math and it triggered maternal instincts I didn't even know I had." 

submitted by Abigail, age Old enough, Inside my head
(April 28, 2019 - 1:47 pm)

Abigail, that last quote is just . . . . . . . . so perfect.

submitted by Spiffycat
(April 28, 2019 - 3:00 pm)

Haha I love that last one!

submitted by Twirlgirl, age 13, My Imaginary Dance Studio
(April 28, 2019 - 3:28 pm)

Yo, were your friends talking about the 11:11 thing quoting something, because if not, I saw those exact quotes on a tumblr incorrect quote page.

submitted by @Abigal, Forever Imagining
(September 20, 2019 - 8:15 pm)

Yes that last one is great.

submitted by Starchaser, age 12, Pyrrhia
(February 23, 2020 - 3:31 pm)

"They got their dance. This is all that matters to me now. Thank you for ditching Sharon."

submitted by Soren Infinity, age 27 eons , BeaconTown
(April 28, 2019 - 8:28 pm)

Ha, yes. Me. XD

submitted by Leeli
(April 30, 2019 - 8:17 am)

- L: I feel like I need to sigh.

M: So sigh.

L: Ok.



submitted by Twirlgirl, age 13, My Imaginary Dance Studio
(April 28, 2019 - 8:36 pm)

- L: A red cow! Cat! What?


submitted by Twirlgirl, age 13, My Imaginary Dance Studio
(April 28, 2019 - 8:45 pm)

Mariokart quotes:

"Dat Thwomp though-"

"Blue shells are my arch neme-people." (Any noun that ends in -is ends in -people in the plural I will fight you on this)


"YoShI iS a GiRl hE lAyS eGgS gUyS mY lIfE iS cOmPlEtE"



Pokemon quotes:

*Trying to imitate a Pokemon* "WHEOOWHEOO"


Super Smash Bros. Quotes:

"Shiek is not Zelda... Shiek... Is not... HOW"

"Kirby's stone move is my favorite drop kick."


I could list more, but I'll cease to bombard you for the moment. 

submitted by Rogue Wildling
(April 28, 2019 - 11:57 pm)