Funny Things my

Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket

Funny Things my

Funny Things my Friends Have Said, because Leafy's one died but this idea is too good to not have a thread for. Post your funny things here!

-"YOU SAW ENDGAME? YOU SAW ENDGAME? YOU SAW ENDGAME? YOU SAW ENDGAME?  *continued*" 

-"Which joke is dirtier, Oliver's Cheetos or the fajitas?"

-"Keep it PG, we say *censored* here"

-"Rest in pieces, fidget pen." 

-"Can you do me a favor and put a 'kick me' sign on Oliver?"

-"Captain America is just a 100-year old guy on steriods with a frisbee"

-"You're so disappointed by my lack of Super Mario knowledge"

-Gavin: Eliza is just a girl with messy hair and insomnia

Me: Hey that's not wrong

-"If I saw Dear Evan Hansen my soul would become a pile of goo on the floor."

-"You look like Shrek"

-"I think Logan just called me mentally weak"

-"Oliver should run the 666-meter in track!"

-"This confetti sucks"

-"I am SORRY I do not know what a METHANE HYDRATE IS-" 

submitted by Soren Infinity, age 27 eons , BeaconTown
(April 27, 2019 - 11:05 am)

Ohhh yeah way more than a six.

submitted by SurroundedByBooks
(January 22, 2020 - 8:14 pm)

These two are from my French teacher:

"I just thought that was a really cute picture!! And then...we're going to learn about eating him."

"So, cabbage and body parts, right?" 

submitted by Leafy, age No, not a cat
(May 7, 2019 - 6:23 pm)

-Nabelist Terd

-"Move over you have a full butt of seat 

"But I also have half a butt of window"

-"Tables n chairs. Tables n chairs. Tables n chairs. Tables n chairs. TABLES N CHAIRS. TABLES N CHAIRS. TABLES N CHAIRS. TABLES N CHAIRS."

-"Jegonnominate" 

"No loggy our"

The only valid explanation: Tyberious and I should never be in close proximity. EVER.

submitted by Darkking, age Who knows?, A dimension.
(May 8, 2019 - 12:32 pm)

But you're sisters so I guess the world shall just have to suffer- WAIT WAS THAT OUT LOUD

submitted by Rogue Wildling
(May 8, 2019 - 1:37 pm)

Whelp 

-"THE GREAT FWUMP IS UPON US"

- "gIvE mE mY sOcKs BaCk"

"nEvEr!" 

"then PERISH" *throws pillow*

I typed more down on my phone but can't look at it now, I'll post them later.

submitted by Darkking, age Who knows?, A dimension.
(May 9, 2019 - 12:57 pm)

'We have killed 5 whales already! Don't kill more of them!"

"This is like applesauce.. with some cheese mixed in." 

submitted by Dandelion
(May 14, 2019 - 2:52 pm)

"We might have to throw it in with the salami and hope for the best."

submitted by Agent Winter, age Classified
(May 16, 2019 - 8:39 pm)

- "Augustus Gloop was the first emperor of Rome?"

- (teacher) "I have PANTS that are older than ANY of you."

- "Ava was singing the Queen Of The Night aria and I was too scared to function!"

- "I'm dying. Dying of death."

- "Gabe is such a BEAN PLANT sometimes!"

- "We have to kidnap Cooper to write music for us and be DABULOUS!"

- "Baritones must be a different species."

- "Are you gonna cryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?"

- "Because SONDHEIM!!!"

- "My favorite part of Endgame was when Shrek fell from the sky and sat on Thanos!"

 

And that is it for now. XD If anyone wants context, I can give it to you, just ask! :D 

-EG <3 

submitted by elementgirl18917, age 12.5, Broadway
(May 17, 2019 - 7:21 pm)

That last one is the GREATEST XD

submitted by Soren Infinity, age 27 eons , BeaconTown
(May 18, 2019 - 9:26 pm)

Yes. XD I would love context for that. 

submitted by Leeli
(May 19, 2019 - 7:51 am)

"You're suspended from pretzels for the rest of the week!"

submitted by Winterblue
(May 18, 2019 - 8:29 am)

Me: Can I eat the rest of your pizza? 

Friend: Sure. It's way too cheesy for me.

Both: *burst out laughing*  

submitted by Aquamarine
(May 19, 2019 - 1:42 pm)

These are from my lit class

E(before we are going to watch a movie in class)- May I off the lights turn?

A-I'm pretty sure Ms. J lost a brain cell when she heard you say that

Ms. J-Oh don't worry I'm used to losing brain cells when E talks. Like when he asks me if he can go visit the pee pee dungeon 

 

Ms. J- EE, get Big Boi off the table

EE- But he likes it there

Ms.J- I don't care he's giving me anxiety. And I can't see.

EE as he moves him off: Sorry Big Boi...

*Context* Big Boi is what we named EE's giant bright red backpack after Ms. J asked EE to take him off of the table so many times she thought he deserved an identity

Ms. J- *opens Big Boi* Ah! There's a fifth grader in here! 

 

E(speaking in a Kermit voice while reading Henry the Fourth)- Your money! 

 

Ms. J- A, you better not be on the dark web buying weapons

A- *looks up with wide eyes and speaks in Russian accent* No, definitely not buying weapons. Why would you think that? 

submitted by Alta
(May 21, 2019 - 8:36 am)

*stuck up tone* I would much rather be a dinosaur.

Is it weird that I'm saving my scab to look at under my microscope?

(my answer) Not at all! 

submitted by spiffycat, age 12
(May 21, 2019 - 9:43 am)

Yeah, that’s weird. But it sounds like something I would do, and therefore a good idea. XD Huh, y’know, maybe I should try that next time I get wounded. Since I don’t have any scabs at the moment. It’d be interesting. 

submitted by Leeli
(May 25, 2019 - 7:32 am)