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Funny Things my
Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket
Funny Things my
Funny Things my Friends Have Said, because Leafy's one died but this idea is too good to not have a thread for. Post your funny things here!
-"YOU SAW ENDGAME? YOU SAW ENDGAME? YOU SAW ENDGAME? YOU SAW ENDGAME? *continued*"
-"Which joke is dirtier, Oliver's Cheetos or the fajitas?"
-"Keep it PG, we say *censored* here"
-"Rest in pieces, fidget pen."
-"Can you do me a favor and put a 'kick me' sign on Oliver?"
-"Captain America is just a 100-year old guy on steriods with a frisbee"
-"You're so disappointed by my lack of Super Mario knowledge"
-Gavin: Eliza is just a girl with messy hair and insomnia
Me: Hey that's not wrong
-"If I saw Dear Evan Hansen my soul would become a pile of goo on the floor."
-"You look like Shrek"
-"I think Logan just called me mentally weak"
-"Oliver should run the 666-meter in track!"
-"This confetti sucks"
-"I am SORRY I do not know what a METHANE HYDRATE IS-"
submitted by Soren Infinity, age 27 eons , BeaconTown
(April 27, 2019 - 11:05 am)
(April 27, 2019 - 11:05 am)
Yeah, that’s weird. But it sounds like something I would do, and therefore a good idea. XD Huh, y’know, maybe I should try that next time I get wounded. Since I don’t have any scabs at the moment. It’d be interesting.
(May 25, 2019 - 7:32 am)
And now, the last few weeks of school+ a smorgasbord of family shenanigans.
-J.: *makes popcorn in microwave*
Me: you're gonna have to share some of that with me.
J.: Communist
-"Hello, my name is Steve Rogers and I- on your left, ON YOUR LEFT-"
-T.: don't touch me
Me: everyone touch T
- "If I don't know what I'm saying, then you definitely don't know what I'm saying."
- my dad: maybe you should put that back
me: Too late, I licked it
-Gavin: Eliza, you're a nun! Bless her!
me: Oh yeah-! Wait, what?
-"Sometimes you just gotta fall down."
-"Is the trampoline gonna be the only reason you come to my house?"
"No, it'll be... 50% of the reason"
-*making shapes out of clouds* "It looks like a piece of candy covered in dust"
-"So there was this old guy in a car and then there was this other guy on a bicycle and the old guy in the car was so slow that the guy on the bike went nnnyyeeaoow right past him"
-"I understand everything except anything."
-"It's a Voldemort snake!"
-"Get Shreked"
-"Pantsy fants"
-"RICHARD"
-"NO! Lukas has to be taller than Jesse. Jesse is a smol boi."
@Alta, "The pee pee dungeon". XD This is my new favorite thing.
(May 25, 2019 - 1:08 pm)
@Soren Infinity, ARE YOU TALKIN' 'BOUT MINECRAFT: STORY MODE I LUV THAT GAME!!!!!!!!!!!
(April 15, 2021 - 2:28 pm)
I got a BUNCH of these
-Are peaches mammals? (Not as a joke)
-Imagine Calliou walking up to you in the hood and saying "Want a Sprite Cranberry?"
-IF YOU LOOK IN THE FRIDGE I WILL CHUCK YOUR MCDONALD'S OUT THE WINDOW
-Why does Belgium exist?
-(Context: Conversation about anchient China) Y'ALL EVER JUST TURN ON THE GODFATHER?
-Black Widows sandwich had more screentime than Captain Marvel in Endgame
-Logan, stop putting your friends in chokeholds.
-CRINKLE ONE MORE TIME AND I'LL CRINKLE YOUR SPRINKLE
-Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum, I NOW WILL TAKE A PACK OF GUM
-I AM THE CHUCK NOW! BOW BEFORE ME YOU PUNY MORTAL! NOW, HAND ME THE AVIATOR GLASSES OF POWER!
(May 26, 2019 - 9:45 pm)
"I used to think that you had poor judgement but now I realize that you have no judgement at all."
"...so in conclusion, acupuncture is completely painless-" *gets stabbed with a pencil* "-ahhhhh!!"
"Do I have to do everything?" (Directed to everyone) Everyone responds with some form of: "No only the stuff we don't want to do."
(May 29, 2019 - 4:15 pm)
@Unknown, do u do Brazillian jiujitsu?U remind me of someone from my jiujitsu school
(May 30, 2019 - 5:29 pm)
@Faith C Wait, someone else on here does BJJ? I used to do it!
(May 31, 2019 - 9:33 am)
These are kind of disjointed, I just had the first one hanging around and then I looked through some email chats to find a few others....
-
"Ten years of meat grease."
"Bring on the mini ice cream tacos! I can eat fifteen of those!"
"Kylo." "BENNY." "Kylo." "BENNY." "KYLO." "Benny!" "KYLO." "TAMATOA." "William Turner's father." "A ZEBRA."
"Peter Parker picked a peck of pickled peppers"
(May 31, 2019 - 12:02 pm)
here's one i said once:
"and number two... oooohhhh, that came out wrong."
(May 31, 2019 - 2:44 pm)
-"hi, how are you?"
"i'm good, how are you?"
"i'm fine, how are you?" etc.
(June 1, 2019 - 2:27 pm)
-"I had lots of ambitions for this project and then reality set in."
-"You had this like expression on your face like fight me boi like ya know."
Don't let this thread die. It's too entertaining!
(June 3, 2019 - 6:41 pm)
-"I slept so much that I'm tired."
-"Popcorn is like magic."
-"Homer Simpsons your way through that food!"
(June 4, 2019 - 6:28 pm)
"I am literaly so desparate for something even mildly unhealthy that I'm petting dark chocolate-covered almonds. This is just sad, Mom."
(June 7, 2019 - 10:22 am)
Who said that, Soren??
(June 9, 2019 - 5:54 pm)
*while watching a tv show*
"I think we've got everything in the house, so you can just move on now."
*someone says*
"In other words, 'go away, Chip!'"
(June 9, 2019 - 5:57 pm)