Um...Okay so

Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket

Um...Okay so

Um...

Okay so basically in the last few weeks I've been posting my art & writing, and adjusting to being back after my....let's call it a break. And, I don't know, I don't feel comfortable on the CB anymore.

I'm not trying to make anyone do anything, and I'm not saying that I'm leaving. I'm just saying how I feel.

Part of it is that the CB has been rather inactive. I just feel like people in general (including me hehe) have not been keeping up with their CB lives as much. Which is ok, but it makes things harder.

Also in general I worry far too much about what other people think of me, and my reputation. I am a rather self conscious person - for example, right now I am wondering if it's weird that I'm using the word rather so much, since it's not a word people use so much anymore.

And I also really like to know what people think of me, and my art & writing. I try to talk to other ppl about their art & writing as much as possible to make them feel uncomfortable, because I feel uncomfortable when I feel like ppl ignore me. So.

And when ppl don't comment about it...or, more often, when I want to post something on the CB or comment but have no idea what to comment or post I feel like I'm not contributing anything to the CB and am just an annoying person who is way too active and in the way. Like now, I am thinking what if everyone just ignores this post? Because it's too long and too like a complaint.

But it is NOT a complaint, and like I said before I'm NOT trying to make anyone do or feel anything! At all! And I love all you guys and all and I want to be, well, maybe not special or important but NOT annoying at least, and considered a friend.

So. Uh, yes. Hi :) 

submitted by cerinthe, age 13
(December 5, 2019 - 10:49 pm)

back to the Chirp at Cricket

I get what you're saying! I do think, though, that for the last month or so people have really been focusing on NaNo, so that's a reason for what you're feeling.

submitted by Catsclaw
(December 5, 2019 - 11:28 pm)

Oh, thats true. Thank you Catsclaw. And yet it's December now....I think though the inactivity had to do with NaNo my, um, shall we call it insecurity has to do with more than just that......as I explained. But that is true.

submitted by cerinthe, age 13, hellooooo
(December 6, 2019 - 10:57 am)

I can relate to your situation, cerinthe, but I'd just like to let you know that I will be active for the foreseeable future, so yeah idk how to end this post bye

submitted by Nyx, age 12 years , Earth
(December 6, 2019 - 11:53 am)

Aww, okay cerinthe. I definitely get what you're talking about and I think I personally will now be putting more of an effort into making the CB more alive. Also, I hope you feel more confident soon--and I didn't even notice that you were using the word rather, it just sounds normal to me. Uggh, one of my quirks is that I just use the word just in just about everything I say. Or at least just write. It's just horrible. XD Anyways, I'll be looking forward to when you feel comfortable to come back. <3

submitted by Leafy, age No, not a cat
(December 6, 2019 - 3:24 pm)

Aww... okay, so yes, it's been pretty inactive for a while now. It's the end of nano; it's the holidays; and there's nothing new going on that would draw more people onto the CB. There's not much to do about that...

As for being very self-concious, I honestly think we're all a little paranoid of judgment, even though this is like the least judgmental place ever?? And I really only noticed your use of the word 'rather' until you pointed it out. *Shrugs* We're never really phased by word choise; you get lots of varieties of speech patterns here, and we welcome it all. We won't judge, cerinthe; I'm not sure how else to put it. We don't judge. :) 

submitted by Luna-Starr, age 27 eons, Existential Ponderment
(December 7, 2019 - 10:53 am)

*nods head earnestly* I totally get what you're saying. Maybe people read what you're posting, but they don't know what to say, so they keep waiting for someone else to post, only everyone else is doing the same thing, and no one is posting, and people all feel ignored or guilty or...

Sorry. Bit of a rabbit hole there. But I also agree with you about the inactivity. Like, there's a solo write I've been meaning to post for a while, but it never seems like a good time, what with homework and other projects and waiting till there are fewer solo writes around so mine will be more popular. So I guess what I'm saying is that I should just get out there and post it, because there will never be a perfect time, so I should just seize the next okay time that comes along. Just do it. Put it out there.

I'm half talking to myself and half to everyone else in this situation. 

submitted by Summer, age pi, Nowhere at all
(December 8, 2019 - 8:16 pm)

I love that you're so active!
When I joined CB, you were the first to post on my kind of awkward first post, and you made me feel so welcome and just like I was a part of things. What I'm saying is that your activeness is amazing and awesome and that I think that you are an exellent example of what a CBr should be!

submitted by Hummingbird, The Backyard Flowers
(December 10, 2019 - 7:18 pm)