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I'm Staying!
Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket
I'm Staying!
I'm Staying!
Hello again! It's Parody. So...I have some explaining to do.
I'm so sorry for the mental breakdown (it may not have seemed like it, but I was getting ready to cry on my end) I had last week, saying I had to leave the CB.
So, basically, my mom found one of my online accounts (it had nothing personal, just a bunch of stuff saying how I'm a furry--none of the other information that I don't want to be out yet). One of her friends told her of a way to find online accounts, so she searched up mine.
And I panicked. She said she might check my other email account (which freaked me out, since that's the one I have quite literally all my secret fanfiction-reading accounts and art accounts on). I'd been writing a bunch of fanfiction on one of them, and posting it. I'd also been posting things about LGBT+ characters I ship and really like. It would have absolutely blown her mind and freaked her out. She's not...homophobic...per-se, but I don't think she'd like it if I turned out to be LGBT+, or started dressing in the styles I want to dress in (I currently dress in sort-of preppy clothes or gym clothes to avoid being judged). Basically, it just really freaked me out because those accounts were...my escape, per-se. My one vice. The place I'd go to not be judged and just freak out and goof off and...be me. For real me, not the me that I put on for other people when they make homophobic comments, or judge people for wearing different styles, or just for people in general. Just...me. She can't find out about that. It terrifies me. Not because she'd hate me. She'll love me no matter what. But I'm afraid she's going to judge me and take away me because, let's face it, I'm fragile and although I hate to say it, I hate being judged--and it makes me want to change who I am. It makes me want to hide from my real identities and just be "Safe Parody" for everyone else. "Safe Parody" wears normal, preppy clothes, and doesn't goof off or show her real self. "Safe Parody" is aware that she's female and doesn't even begin to question that. "Safe Parody" doesn't question her sexuality either, or read sometimes LGBT+ fanfiction or other things like that. It's so frustrating. I've been "Safe Parody" all my life, and I got tired of it--hence the alternate accounts. I'll admit, it got tiring being sneaky and lying and doing other things--but it was the only way I could really be me, so it was worth it. I can't even be Real Parody around my friends--maybe one day I'll be able to be Real Parody around one of them, but my mom doesn't really like her and I think she's stalking my texts with her.
Anyway, I'm back, and I'll try to post more! I've developed my AEs a bunch more and I'm really excited to show you the new-and-improved Caspian, Wolfe, Delta, Estrella, and Lark. (And my CBsona!)
I love you all so so much and thank you for all your support and love on my Leaving Post. I love each and every one of you so much. Thank you for being a part of my life!! You've inspired me to be Real Parody, and I can't thank you enough for that. <3333
Love,
Parody
submitted by Endless_Parodies, age 14, Lost to the Sands of Time
(September 30, 2024 - 9:46 pm)
(September 30, 2024 - 9:46 pm)
aww I'm really glad you could stay!! that sounds like a really stressful experience and I've been there before, it sucks :// what you said about Safe Parody and Real Parody is also pretty relatable. anyway I'm glad you're still on here!
(September 30, 2024 - 10:17 pm)
Thank you!! I am really stressed lately, honestly. I'm so glad to be back.
(October 2, 2024 - 8:01 am)
(October 1, 2024 - 12:25 pm)
*SCREAMING, CRYING, THROUGHING UP*
Yaaaaaaaaay! I'M. SO. HAPPY. I gotta go tell Kam thet you're still HERE!
(Btw, is the, uh, fanfic/writing account still available for both of our usage? Bc i gotta give you smnth)
(October 1, 2024 - 1:13 pm)
SAME! Yes, Cass is really glad too. He's super excited.
The fanfic account MIGHT be available, but I don't remember the email and I made a new other account so I can try --but maybe not. :( I'll try, though!
(October 2, 2024 - 8:03 am)
no problem, but i'm very glad you're staying! i had intended to post on the leaving post. However, I do want to say stay safe - maybe changing your name again would be a good idea, and just do it on a thread like Random Thoughts/Things that's harder to trawl through to find? idk, i just don't want you to get outed or have to leave or such. also, be careful with the other online accounts. Maybe you could delete your browsing history on the Chatterbox and post in incognito windows? I tend towards doing that personally. and i sincerely hope that you can be the real Parody someday, and not get hate for it. *optional hugs*
(October 2, 2024 - 2:07 pm)
I'm so happy for you Endless_Parodies! I relate so much, part of why I left Chatterbox for about year is because of parental reasons. For so many people the internet is a place where they can just be themselves. I've also had MANY alternate accounts and when I was questioning my orientation, I could talk to people openly, even though I couldn't in person. I hate that I have to hide all of this, but seeing other people go through the same thing makes it much easier. I don't know where I'd be without Chatterbox for instance. It has grown my knowledge so much. I hope you can stay on Chatterbox for as long as you wish, and I'll read you around!
(October 2, 2024 - 2:09 pm)
AH that sounds terribly stressful and honestly kinda scary!! I hope your mom sees sense and all, but I am glad you are staying. We're always here for you!!! <333
(October 3, 2024 - 8:52 am)
Parody, I know how you feel. I write fanfics that have LGBT things in them but my family (includin' myself when I'm not writin' fanfic) don't support that whatsoever and if my parents find out... I'm not sure what's gonna happen. I'm terrified of that. Plus, they also go through my phone sometimes and I'm scared of them findin' out other things too.
It'll be ok; just know that your mom will love you no matter what.
(October 3, 2024 - 10:10 am)
That sounds like a lot. I hope you're stay safe, and I'm glad you can stay!
(October 4, 2024 - 1:16 am)
oh yay that's nice that you can stay! I'm sorry I never got around to commenting on your leaving thread (thanks for the shoutout there :D) but hopefully this makes up for it? anyway, it's great that you don't have to leave!
if it makes you feel better, I think in most areas you could still be yourself, maybe more than you realize. Maybe not so much for your interests and so on, but for your personality. i guess what i'm trying to say is, you can find a way around the feeling that you can't be yourself irl, because even if you feel like you can't openly pursue your interests, your personality - your passion, your enthusiasm, all the various traits that you have - is still separate from that, and you should totally be proud of it and let others see it! Anyway that's just my advice, I hope it helps some :/ if you need to talk or anything, just let me know.
also new AEs!! how nice! :D
(October 4, 2024 - 1:54 pm)
OMG!!!!YAAAAAAAAY!!!!
I was so worried you weren't coming back, but you did,so now everything's great!!!
(October 4, 2024 - 5:40 pm)