Hero or Heroine

Chatterbox: Crowd Sorcery

Hero or Heroine

Hero or Heroine

I’m so excited when I start a new story! Most writers believe that the single most important part is the characters. If readers fall in love with your characters—especially the main character—they will read to the end, feeling every emotion, taking part in the adventures. So as we work together toward building our story, please give a lot of thought to the conversation on this thread. Share your own best ideas, think about ideas others come up with, and discuss ways to make the character as interesting and memorable as possible.

Be original, and don’t be afraid to be surprising! What if the main character had a really unusual background or ability or fear? What if she were a girl who could only come out in the moonlight because a witch cast a spell on her great-grandmother? If you’re like me, you’ll find that the more questions you ask and answer about the main character, the more the story will begin to write itself in your head!

For example, if I wanted to introduce the girl who could only come out in the moonlight, I might write: “Quill pushed aside the velvet drape and peeked out through the window’s glass to where the moon glowed, huge and silver, behind the oak trees. It was their nightly ritual, Quill and the moon each peeping through curtains to see if the other were awake.”

I can’t wait to see your ideas! Here’s my list of traits for brainstorming the main character. After you have your ideas, you can write a Crowd Sorcery Sentence, or two or three, that might introduce your character in the story.

1. Name

2. Appearance

3. Background

4. Personality

5. How is he/she different from others?

6. What does he/she most desire or hope for?

7. How is he/she strong?

8. How is he/she weak or vulnerable?

9. What does he/she fear most?

10. Your Crowd Sorcery Sentence(s)


The voting for hero and heroine is now complete. Go here to see our main character and learn the schedule for creating and voting on a villain and sidekick.

You can still add to this Hero and Heroine thread for fun.


submitted by Fred Durbin
(April 23, 2014 - 10:05 am)

Btw, Adelaide is her middle name. Does anyone have any good last names that might work for her family? Adelaide is just way too fancy. Thanks!

submitted by Raina O., age 13, Eugene, Or. USA
(April 30, 2014 - 12:48 am)

name: Kee Mai

appearence: Long black hair (braided), pale skin, Sea-glass green eyes flecked with gold, Pale pink lips, Thin.

background: She is a warlock's daughter that is shunned by community, and because of messages her dad gives her stating things about "The common good" (the same common good that shuns her), she is very confused about good and evil, and runs away from her hometown to find out which is which.

personality: She is a loner with a warm heart. She's used to operating by herself, but she she warms up to companions quickly.

She is different because: magic is a growing rarity in the world she lives in, and she's starting to discover strange new powers she has.

She is strong because: she knows not to always believe what people tell you, she has nothing to hide, and she can function in desperate situations.

She is weak because: she finds that she cannot give up people she loves, and she forgives too easily. Sometimes she can be very... trickable.

What she fears most is: her father. She's afraid she disappoints him. 

P.S. What's a Crowd Sorcery Sentence??? 


After you have ideas for your character, you can write a Crowd Sorcery Sentence, or
two or three, that might introduce your character in the story. 


submitted by Allison A., age 11, Washington
(April 29, 2014 - 9:56 pm)

1. Name

Lyra Dragoon

2. Appearence

VERY tall, long wavy mahogany hair, fair skin, LOTS of freckles.


She is part of a long line of people who are supposedly "part-dragon." This means they have some dragon blood in them so they can fly (with dragon wings), can breate fire, can talk to dragons, or even just really like meat or hoard sparkly stuff. After dragons attacked the country she lived in (named Ashara), all the "part-dragons" were driven out of Ashara when Lyra was 4. Those who stayed were killed the only way dragons can be killed: drowning. Lyra and her father barely got out of Ashara alive, thanks to many crazy mobs. Sadly, Lyra's mother stayed behind as a part of the "part-dragon" equivalent of the Underground Railroad and was executed as an example to othe wanna-be Harriet Tubmans. Lyra and her father live in the Endless Desert/Wastelands/Grasslands outside Ashara. For them it is an endless struggle to survive in their baren enviroment (yes, i do realize i sound like a Nature Channel talking about frogs and toads in the desert).

4. Personality

Lyra is a spunky girl who has never had to deal with the stereotypes that women have to deal with in her world. She loves animals and will do anything for friends or family.

5. Lyra is different from others because she is part-dragon yet seems and is completely normal in every way. She is also different because she lives in a shack in the Endless Wastes.

6. Lyra desires to be free of any expectations or responsibilities. She longs to fly like a bird (or a dragon).

7. She is strong because she literally is strong. She is strong because she is growing up to high expectations and strives to meet them.

8. She is weak because she will give up and/or do anything for people she loves. She cannot forego attachment. She loves company. Craves it, even.

9. She fears losing her family, not meeting expectations (part of why she hates them), and people that hate her because she is different.

10. "Up and Adam!" I wake up and grasp at the light flowing into my eyes feebly. "Too early," I whine. "Suck it up and deal with it!" is my father's call from the other room. I pull my shift on sleepily and walk into the other room, my eyes wanting to close from the bright morning sun. "Draw the water for your breakfast," my father says, not looking up from his oats and corrae (a drink similar to coffee exept minus caffine). I slip on my sandals and walk outside to the well. I draw up the bucket, unhook it, and carry it in, careful not to spill any precious water. I boil the water over the fire for thirty minutes to clean it and then begin to cook my oats.  I can tell my father disapproves of me using a fire instead my supposed "dragon breath" to steam the water. I'm really beginning to think this "dragon" this is all a myth, because neither I nor my father has shown any signs of awesome powers.


submitted by Violet C., age 11, Washington
(April 29, 2014 - 10:32 pm)

Okay, that whole thing is awesome, and Lyra Dragoon is the BEST name. Certain parts of your thing made me totally lol (wanna-be Harriet Tubmans). Also, and sorry if I'm wrong or it's a typo, but I think it's supposed to be "Up and AT 'EM". Idk,  that just makes more sense to me. :)

submitted by Raina. O., age 13, Oregon
(April 30, 2014 - 11:43 pm)

Yeah, you're probably right about the "Up and at 'em" thing. That was a mistake of mine.

Tongue out 

submitted by Violet C., age 11, Washington
(July 2, 2014 - 6:17 pm)

I love that name. Have you read The Golden Compass?

submitted by Lyra T , age 11, Texas
(November 3, 2014 - 9:54 pm)

One. Gracilne Durbin

Two. A long flowing mane of midnight black hair, deep green eyes that sparkle like emeralds. Wears a blue jumper with a snow white sash tied around her waist. Always smiling. Dirt smudged across her face but a pale complexion.

Three. Kidnapped at an early age and brought to work as a slave by the harbor. Graciline is a crew member on the ship "Magnifect Emerald". She has no memory of her parents or relatives. All she knows is the life at sea. She is under the command of a cruel captian who daily whips her. She longs for a better home.

Four. Fearless and courageous. Always up for an adventure. Curious about her past and always longing to meet her family.

Five. She has been chosen to go on a quest to fight a mighty dragon that will change her fourtune.

Six. She longs to be with her family, to be loved and cared for.

Seven. Despite the abuse she gets, Graciline still is strong and hopefull in a mentall away becaause she has strong will power. (That will help her deafet the dragon)

Eight. She has a secret fear that she will never be reunited with her family.

Nine. Above

Ten. Graciline whipped around her emerald eyes sparkling dangerously, "I am no longer you slave," she sneered."I am the great Graciline Durblin. Do you dare whip me again?" 

submitted by ARJ, age 12
(April 30, 2014 - 12:28 pm)

Kanala Shikani

Dark hair, PoC [you decide!] also not incredibly beautiful or otherworldly. Fairly average. Some pudge in the stomach area. 

Lives in an old castle. Her ancestor was adopted [her great-something grandmother] by the family that lived there [who are only an Earl and a Countess who adopted her because they had no children]. In exchange the great-great grandmother, who was a sorceress of high renown, gave them a gift. Everyone agrees it was something magical, but no one knows for sure because in the last generation the descendants of the Earl and Countess were killed when the castle was invaded by an enemy force trying to establish a base [the last few years had been taken up in a war with the neighboring country]. Kanala, her mother, and several others who lived there, along with the butler and various other servants, managed to escape to the village and avoid the battle before the enemy forces made their way too far in. They returned after the opposing troops had been pushed out, and by then the war was nearly over. Kanala made friends with another girl in the village, Satomi, and visits her occasionally. Her mother often warns her against arrogance and believing herself to be higher than anyone else, which she believed had led to the Earl's castle's besiegement and subsequent conquering.

Kanala is rather modest, but her mother can be overprotective and she has therefore become a very good liar. She enjoys tales about dragons and believes that one day the dragons will come back, even though everyone says they never existed [but what's a proper fantasy without dragons, may I ask? NOT A VERY PROPER ONE AT ALL]. She also insists on being trained with a weapon, which her mother reluctantly supports [re: castle besiegement].

She is different because, although Kanala visits the village often, she has still lived in a castle her entire life and therefore doesn't understand Satomi's family's struggles very well. She has a hard time comprehending poverty. She also almost religiously supports the small but still-growing movement of women's equality.

She really wishes to see a dragon or go on an adventure. That's her mirror or erised. Of course, once you're on an adventure it never seems like such a good idea as it did when you were safe in your bedroom.

She can wield a sword fairly well and is a little bit terrible at archery. She still hasn't given up on learning [even after the incident with the maid, which we don't talk about]

She can be manipulated easily though, as so many stories have made her think that she's the heroine and therefore invincible. No evil plot can work on her. She will see through it in an instant.

She is terribly afraid of dying.

"Kanala rounded the corner carefully, slowly, ever on the watch for hidden enmies. Deep in the empty dragon's lair, there was double the danger; not only was she surrounded by enemies, but the dragon could return at any moment and kill them all!

She surveyed the empty hall in front of her. It APPEARED empty, but anyone could be hiding arounf the corner-

She shrieked as someone tapped her shoulder and spun around to see them.

Sebastian, the butler, regarded her with a raised eyebrow. "Ms Shikani, may I ask why you've borrowed the Captain's training bow and quiver?"

submitted by Olivia S, age 15, Chicago, IL
(April 30, 2014 - 4:57 pm)


Name 1  Karkera (CAR-cer-rah) (13 yrs old) (female)

Appearance 2   Pale, white-blue skin, no hair, yellow eyes, wears a purple jumpsuit for most of the story, deep purple angel-like wings that can fold into crevices in her back, and which no one except her father knows about. (And he pretends he doesn't.)

Background 3   Has normal-looking (earthling, in case there was any doubt about that) parents, is called "a freak of nature" by most people, Mom died giving birth to her, Dad ashamed of her, remarries, to a horrid woman named Loreena (is not the main villain, though!!), who hides her--people still know about her because she had to go to school, although she dropped out a year from when the story begins, it is revealed in the end that her mom was ruler of the Fey.

Personality 4  Cynical, accepting to her fate, acts the part of a witch, has made a game of scaring little kids, snaps at everyone, pretends to put various hexes on her gulible stepmother--but sometimes they work. 

Differences 5  Her appearance, sometimes her feelings tend to make disasters happen, she can talk to creepy-crawlies, etc.

Desires 6  Her utmost desire, though she does not admit it, even to herself, is for her father to accept her and encourage her instead of being embarrassed and pretending she doesn't exist.

Strenghts 7  Her powers, her invulnerability, her shadowy side (she has the quietest feet--you can't even hear them unless you are absolutely still and don't move at all), she is great at telling lies and looking innocent . . . feel free to make up more if you wish.

Weaknesses 8  Her family (even the "steps"--even though they treat her horribly, she always worries about them, especially after she finds out that __________ (the villian) is after her. Also she has a soft spot for anyone insulting her looks at all--especially calling her a witch (Perhaps the vliiain, whoever they may be, will pretend that she is the villain and try to turn her only allies against her??)

Fears 9  Karkera is extremely afraid of water--and for the silliest reason... the people that have teased her about being a witch have warned her against water--she always tries not to let them get to her but they always do...

Introductory Sentence 10  In the silvery glow emanating from the stars, a thin, pale silhouette slunk out of a creaky sliding door and glanced first left, then right, before letting brilliant purple feathered wings slide out from two holes on either side of their back, before taking off into flight. "Karkera!!" a worried voice hissed, cutting through the silence like a blade to skin. "Karkera, come back in here--you don't want anyone to see you do y--Oh my gosh!!"    Smile(That was her dad finding out that she has wings.)

submitted by Astronimis E, age 11, Milwaukee, WI
(April 30, 2014 - 7:47 pm)

Lol, this is really fun. Also, all these suggestions are just downright fabulous. Can I do another?

Name: Sylvia ("Sylvie") M. Claires


She is a girl of average height, however she's in that awkward stage and is rather lanky and clumsy. She has short, dark-blue, bobbed hair with neat bangs. Her wardrobe mostly consists of simple dresses made of natural materials in earthy colors, as well as dark purples and blues. She likes knee-socks, and occasionally, big, funny hats. She has freckles right across the bridge of her nose and below her eyes. She also has a mischievous smile and dark brown eyes. She always wears the same necklace, a piece of black yarn with an old pocket watch attached. It belonged to her older brother.


She came from a poor family, just her, her mother, father, older brother, and her baby sister. They struggled, but managed, to make ends meet on their small farm, but then her brother, Lex, was drafted, and her mother became pregnant with her sister, Lacy. They struggled for a while, but things were tough. Lex was no longer there to help, Lacy needed to be fed, Sylvie's mother suffered complications and became weak. Then they got they the message that said Lex was m.i.a. Her parents were depressed, and Lacy almost never stopped crying. Finally, Sylvie realized that she wasn't enough to hold the farm, and her family, together. So, she packed her mostly-empty bags, hid her tears, and left for the crowded city of Twizex with a brave smile on her face.

She quickly fell into the pattern of city life, finding she could finally grow into herself and just breathe without the pressure that had been her old life in the last few years at home. She quickly secured a job and lodging at the top of the clock-tower, assuring it remained wound. She would send home some money every week, and cherished the letters she received in reply. She adopted a dark purple cat whom she named Luna for the white, crescent shaped marking on her face. Sylvie collected gears of all shapes and sizes and loved to invent and tinker with things. She made many friends in the city, and yet she hadn't yet told any of them about her past. She kept that part of her locked within the watch around her neck, and feverishly awaited the day Lex came home.


She's cheerful and always has a joke on her mind. She's hard-working and always tries to cheer up her friends. She's quite smart, with a penchant for math. She's curious. Still, she has a hot temper, and she sometimes she appears to be sad and thoughtful, although her friends can never tell what about.

How is she different than others?

She knows how to milk a cow, for one. She can seem older than her years, and always works harder than her friends, even when they explain that she doesn't have to. She has more worries than them, which seems strange, given her overall childish disposition. She is really good at math and building things. She also lives alone and takes care of herself, despite being only a teen.

What does she most desire or hope for?

Lex being found. She secretly fantasizes about the two of them living together in Twizex.

How is she strong?

She's smart, happy, likable, and actually physically strong. She readily defends those smaller than herself. She knows how to survive on her own. She can dismiss criticizims of herself by others easily. She can always seem to joke and laugh around her friends, and you would rarely guess she could feel so dark...

How is she weak/vulnerable?

She refuses to believe Lex isn't alive. She gets mad easily. The memory of how hard things were back on the farm scares her, and she's not sure what she would do if she was needed there again. She's more fragile than she appears or would like to be, and certain things, even just seeing a newspaper heading about the war, can send her into an anxiety attack, and she sometimes becomes depressed for days. She is ashamed of this. Also, she is angry at her family and can even hate them for making her grow up so fast and face so much she didn't want to. This makes her even more ashamed.

What does she fear most?

Lex is dead. Her family's broken. She's given in to the darkness inside. Having to go back home. Clowns and those creepy manniquins and dummies. (Can you really blame her?)


Crowd Sorcery Sentences:

Sylvie was leaning back in her chair, one brown Mary-Jane pressing against the edge of the table, the other steadying herself against the floor. Her knee-high socks were white and purple stripped today. The top of her dress was a light-weight, thin white fabric, looking like a simple men's dress-shirt. Her skirt was a brown, heavier material, like leather. Her necklace was warm against her skin.

She absent-mindedly tucked her blue hair behind her ear with one hand and rolled up her sleeves. It was warm in the cafe, and she and her friends, Felicia, Alden, and Robert, were surrounded by chatter. She took a sip of her iced tea, the cold, sweet liquid quenching her thirst and sending a shiver, like riding a horse in the open air, through her teeth. She suddenly, instinctively spit it out at something Felicia said. Giggling, she threw her hands up in the air. 

"Congratulations to Felicia! Finally, after a mere three years of knowing you guys, someone has finally made me spit out my drink. Prizes will be dispensed later today, and you know, this feels right. I think we've had a good run, good to end things on a high-note..."

As she spoke, she loosely ran her eyes through the restaurant, where they caught something...

She craned to see the Lone Wandmen's headline: Thousands of soldiers missing in action: same year as Drinkin' Danni's promotion as mascot of famous dessert chain, 'Smoothies Smoothies Smoothies!'. Coincidence? We think not!

   This time the shiver that ran through her body was like icy rain and sleet. She stopped talking abruptly and dropped her chair legs to the floor. Her face reddened, dripping with sweat, and she gripped the the edge of the table so hard her knuckles turned white. Her friends looked at her worriedly and Alden extended an arm to steady her. She knew what they would think if they could read her thoughts: Why are you acting like that over a stupid tabloid? She silently cussed at herself to get it together, but she still couldn't breathe. Her vision suddenly sharpened as the panic set in and she registered one thought: she has to get out of here.

I got kind of carried away with this. Sorry if she seems too tragic or something. Thanks for reading! 


submitted by Raina O., age 13, Oregon
(April 30, 2014 - 9:40 pm)

Her name is Marie-Jane. She has dirty blond hair, emerald green eyes, a bright red nose and big ears. She has bronze glasses, lots of freckles and a slender body. She wears a raggy dress and her feet are tough as leather. Her hair is about at her shoulders. She settled in Mellonham after a huge war in her hometown, Freebridge. Her personality is a mixture of liveliness, daring bravery, and adventure. She hopes to one day leave her dreaded orphanage. Though she is quite shy and rarely ever talks, she has conversations with her pet frog, Cockelton, often. She turnes 10 on Nov. 9 at the roosters crow. She can not read or write and she is not strong, not weak, just right. She longs to go on a big journey into space.


This is the beginning of her story:


She couldn't do it. She just couldn't. It was too hard. 168-90...WHO KNOWS THAT? Well, at least not her. Time flew by and soon it was lunchtime.  

submitted by Autumn H., age 8 , Walnut Creek, C.A.
(April 30, 2014 - 10:06 pm)

Name: Iona Tempus

Appearance: Long wavy black hair, pure golden eyes, no whites or pupils, pale skin. She wears a long, forest green dress, with gold trim, but it's tattered, and the gold isn't really gold anymore, but a sorry colour brown. Has a rope belt that hold pouches full of healing plants and vials of potions that she makes herself. She also has a long curved blade with an ivory handle.

Background: Her parents died when she was very small, she has no memories of them. She was sent to the castle, but diguised herself as a boy, and averted her eyes as much as possible, so she could work with the horses as a stablehand, she wasn't much of a 'people person.' When the Queen found out that she was a girl, she was sent into exile from the Kingdom of Quagmire, where she lives in the forest. She has one friend named Ivon, who was also a stablehand, they don't know it, but they are brother-sister. 

Personality: She's shy, but can be fierce if need be. She has a way with animals, somehow with horses and birds, but she's not sure. She is quick thinking, and was in a pub brawl once, and won that, so she can fight. She can tell plants by a glance, and knows just the way to cure any symptoms of illness.

How is he/she different from others?: She can wield magic, she just doesn't know it yet. Forest magic, control the plants and trees, and such. 

What does he/she most desire or hope for?: A family. Something she can call her own, because the forest is always changing, and nothing is the same for very long. It's something she can depend on, but nothing definite. She depends very heavily upon Ivon.

How is he/she strong?: She has hope, but she keeps it tucked away. Hope that she will someday find her family and love someone. But although she thinks it extremely unlikely she'll ever find her family, she still hopes.

How is he/she weak or vulnerable?: She is very vulnerable to lies, rumors, and such. She was and is the rumor and terror of the Kingdom. The Greenshadow Witch, they call her, because the forest is called Greenshadow, and she lives there. The pub brawl she got into was protecting Ivon, because someone was pushing him around and tormenting him, and she punched the abuser in the face. Fiesty. 

What does he/she fear most?: Finding out what really happened to her parents, because ignorance is bliss. Knowing that they're dead, and giving up hope that anyone would care about her. Not knowing whether they would want her if she found out they were alive.

Your Crowd Sorcery Sentence(s):
"Awray, come down from there," I say indignintly to the eagle. "You're no use to the mouse-catching business if you won't fly. I'll just have Shrik do it," I indicate to the fox. Suddenly, I hear horns, people on horses, five or six. Hunting party, looking for something, or someone. Instinctively, I jump into a ditch surrounded by shrubs. I count the hunters go by. Six. All with lead-tipped arrows. Looking for the supposed 'Witch.' Well, they're not going to find her today. Or ever; just as long as Ivon doesn't blow our secret, I'm good. Shrik slinks out from the hole he was hiding in, and Awray soars down to reast upon my leather arm-guard. I stare at the trail that the horses just flew down. Lead is rare here. Where are they getting it from? And how? Quagmire has nothing to trade besides silver, and from what I've heard, loads of countries have silver. How?  


submitted by The Doctor, age 907, T.A.R.D.I.S.
(April 30, 2014 - 11:21 pm)


1. Name: Hollly Tinsel

2. Appearance: Seafoam green eyes, skinny,tall features, really curly blonde hair, fair skinned, freckles

3. Background: Was abandoned as child because of part fairyness. She has a bracelet that was from her mother when she was born. She roams the streets hiding her wings. She is in junior high.

4. Personality: Bubbly, sweet, fierce, gentle, strong. 

5. How is he/she different from others? Since she is part fairy she hides her wings in her shirt which is hard to do.

6. What does he/she most desire or hope for? She would love to be normal and see her parents again.

7. How is he/she strong? Because of her wings she can get the upper hand in a fight by flying above them.

8. How is he/she weak or vulnerable? If her wing is pierced it would make her weak and she would fall if flying.

9. What does he/she fear most? She is terrified of (this is the funny part) butterflies. She is also afraid of snakes and spiders.

10. Your Crowd Sorcery Sentence(s)

I quickly turned to see Beth. Beth was wearing a dress. And it's winter. "Beth, you're going to get cold," I say as she rolls her eyes. "At least I have style. You are just wearing, that," Beth says as her trio sneers. I turn to walk away as Beth grabs my shoulder. "You aren't going anywhere, orphan," she says. My eyes widen as she says that. "Just shut up," I say and walk away, tears in my eyes.


I hope you enjoyed my character :3

submitted by Ashleigh
(May 1, 2014 - 3:31 pm)

1. Name: Lilly Forly

2. Appearance: tall,slim body, flat red hair, ice blue eyes, light skinned, red lips

3. Background: Her parents had to leave her in the forest because she was cold when she was born, so they thought she wasn't alive. She was raised by bats and acts like them. She does not know she is actually part vampire but since she doesn't like looking at blood she just eats fruit. She is now 14 and started going to school.

4. Personality: a bit wild, shy, kind, gentle, fierce

5. How is he/she different from others? Like I said before, she is part vampire. She thought she was just born with long teeth.

6. What does he/she most desire or hope for? Lilly really wants to see her parents in real life again.

7. How is he/she strong? She can jump high and kick her opponents down to the ground. She is really fast and can dodge a attack sometimes.

8. How is he/she weak or vulnerable? When some one shoves garlic in her face she crumples in a ball.

9. What does he/she fear most? She is scared of blood and faints on sight of it. She is also scared she will never meet her parents.

10. Your Crowd Sorcery Sentence(s) 

I froze behind the tree as the kids came out of the school. I quickly climbed the tree as a few girls ran towards the one I was at. The girls started chattering at the bottom of the tree. I locked my legs on the branch and hung from it by my feet. A regular bat greeting. "Hello!" I say loudly as they screamed. The girls scattered and ran but one stayed. "I'm Candy!" the girl said. "I'm Lilly!" I say. I jump down as Candy's eyes widen. "Are you in gymnastics?" she asks. I scrunch up my face. "What's gym-nast-icks?" I ask


That's Lilly's intro so I hope u liked it:3 peace!

submitted by Ashleigh
(May 1, 2014 - 4:28 pm)

I would have a female protagonist named Vanessa van Skirtz. She would have red hair and freckles but would have died the tips of her hair brown. She is an orphan and is currently living at a drab boring orphanage, but here is the twist, her orphanage is extremely high tech and you have to be gifted and talented in contemporary circus arts to get in. She would be a little bit sassy but mostly really nice and willing to help anyone. She is different from the others because she is a geinius and she is also amazing at multiple trapeze. It doesn't move, by the way. Her biggest desire is to find her family and join a circus with them. Her parents died when she was young but she hopes to find an aunt or uncle or something. She is strong because she endures constant bullying and studies hard even when the other kids and her teacher tease her. But she will cry if she is teased for being too skinny. That is definitely her weak spot. Her worst fear is not getting to be in the circus. In the story I think that it would turn out that her family was cursed with an evil spell from a family member who had turned into a witch. It kept anyone nice, gifted, talented, good at the circus arts, or musically gifted, from having a family and getting to be in the family. Since she is all of those things, she would have to battle the witch and her accomplices to finally find her family again. And it might even turn out that her family isn't dead at all. Here is a crowd sorcery sentence: "As Vanessa walked out onto the porch the other kids started laughing. They thought she was crazy. Last night they had heard her talking to herself in the dark about fighting a witch. Crazy. That's what she was." I hope you like my input!

submitted by Annika, age 11, USA
(May 1, 2014 - 4:38 pm)