ConfessionsC

Chatterbox: Down to Earth

ConfessionsC

Confessions

Confess your deepest secrets here, anonymously, if you'd prefer

I won't judge

submitted by Anonymous, age x, x
(October 15, 2020 - 1:43 pm)

This would be considered "not that deep" but I am so socially awkward that I yelled to someone I barely know from across a room referencing a one line conversation which took place earlier that day and was then accused of being his girlfriend. Why I did this, I will never know but somehow I was considered to be so annoying that I got straight up ignored by this person. That's what I get for trying to socialize. -_- -_- -_-

submitted by Wolfy, age 13, - - -
(December 21, 2022 - 3:23 pm)

Oh noooo I feel this too hard -_-

submitted by Jwyn, age 17, Somewhere
(December 25, 2022 - 4:06 pm)

Ugh, don't listen to them. :(

Some people will always be trying to get a reaction out of you, and embarrassing you can be the easiest way to do that sometimes. Don't mind them; there's usually people who are kind and would rather take your side, even if it doesn't seem like it at first.

Something similar actually happened to me a few years back, I literally was just doing my work (in Earth Science, yeesh) and then this loud kid who's always stirring up trouble for me was randomly like "Yo Jayde(me) likes L(some American football bro)" really loudly and we were both in the classroom and I definitely didn't like the guy and I was just like??? how do I even respond to this?? Why do you think that in the first place?? And I was trying so hard not to either burst into tears or say I was dating someone or strike back by saying something really salty and mean... I ended up just rolling my eyes and being like "Yeah, yeah, when have you ever been right, K(the loud kid)? Pipe down so we can do our work." and the situation slid off like it was nothing. 

Basically, I think keeping a cool head and acting like it's no big deal can save you a lot of pain. Like, the reason people do this is to get a reaction, and if you don't give them one, they'll get bored and leave you alone usually. If you do give them a reaction, you're just giving them what they want, plus they think they're right about whatever they said, or can make other people believe that whole mess is true.

submitted by Jaybells, Lost, somewhere
(December 26, 2022 - 10:05 am)

I have a crush on this girl at school. She's cool and great at sports, but we're also polar opposites. She's built her entire life around hockey, whereas I prefer theater and art. She hangs out with the boys, whereas the closest friends I've always made are assigned female at birth. In other words, we don't socialize much. But I do think that there's a chance that she likes me back.

There's just one thing though. She and her friends make a lot of...jokes. About queer people, specifically people who fall outside of the gender binary, especially people who use xenopronouns. I'm not really surprised, as I do go to catholic school, you're bound to encounter some form of queerphobia. I'm not surprised, I'm just hurt. Hurt and angry, angry at myself for never standing up and saying something.

It hurts knowing that these people who you've grown up with view people like you as a joke. It hurts knowing that they would view you as a joke too, if you ever came out. So you keep quiet and try not to fall to hard for someone who mocks people like you. 

Heh, if you're here thanks for reading my rant lol. I can't wait for 8th grade graduation.

submitted by CelesteOfTheGoldMoon, age g person, Lovesick but for the wron
(December 24, 2022 - 10:43 am)

I don't really know how to help, but don't be mad at yourself for not standing up to her. It sounds like you're nonbinary/not in the gender binary and possibly use neopronouns, from what you said? If that's so, then it's extra hard and even potentially dangerous for you to stand up to her. It's not your fault if that person is transphobic. It's their fault.

And also, I'm sorry that (from how it seems) you don't feel safe to come out. And it absoloutely hurts to see that people see you as a joke. I hope you already know that you're not and that you're amazing and deserve to be taken seriously (seriously. Read that over and over again until you believe it), so I'm just going to say that you shouldn't have to stay quiet. Whether you do or not is your decision, and there's nothing wrong with staying quiet longer, or even forever. If that's what you want to do, or what's safe, that's what you should do. But if you want to, I hope you can find the courage, and I wish you the best.

Just a note on language that really doesn't matter that much: Xenopronouns are a whole different thing than neopronouns. Basically,  xenopronouns are a conceptual/hypothetical thing where they're pronouns that can't be expressed through human language. Neopronouns, on the other hand, are things like fae/faer or xe/xyr or kit/kits or co/clocks or le/leaf or all those. This really doesn't matter that much, so don't feel like you did something wrong! It's totally fine :D

And lastly, thank you for supporting neopronouns! I use neopronouns, and am completely removed from the gender binary using xenogenders (genders explained using things or concepts, common examples being catgender, which is related to cats, or voidgender, which is like a void), and there's so much hate for them. So thank you for not being like that. And to the whole CB - everyone has been really kind, even if I'm still too anxious to share my pronouns.

Anyway,  I hope this helps. I'm really not good at giving advice, so sorry if I said anything wrong. I don't know how to end this so *posts*

submitted by @Celeste, Blackfooted Bobcat
(December 24, 2022 - 12:29 pm)

Thanks so much, for the kind words and the correction about neopronouns. I will keep your thoughts in mind :)

submitted by CelesteOfTheGoldMoon
(December 24, 2022 - 3:41 pm)

celeste, i get it. people like that can be so MEAN. my parents say im too young to decide, but i feel bi now

submitted by @celeste, a Bi being
(December 26, 2022 - 4:58 pm)

Do they like me, do they like me not? More Signs point to yes but bigger signs point to no. I guess only time will tell...

submitted by Anonnn
(December 26, 2022 - 1:05 pm)

Ah, relatable my friend. Best of luck to you.

submitted by Guess, (don’t actually)
(December 29, 2022 - 10:46 am)

Likewise :)

submitted by Anonnn
(December 29, 2022 - 7:59 pm)

........I feel like throwing away my AEs. 

submitted by ^_^, age :(, :<
(December 26, 2022 - 1:24 pm)

Sometimes I'm riding on a wave of good feelings and happiness, and everything seems great, and then the next day or the next hour, even, it all goes south. And then I don't want to do anything, don't want to get up. I don't know what's going on, I want to fix this but I'm not sure how and it's hard to change.

Why are all the right choices the hardest to make? 

submitted by No one will know, I need help
(December 28, 2022 - 1:37 pm)

That can happen for various reasons, but regardless of why, it's not your fault. I would talk to an adult and maybe even a doctor about these rapid mood swings - not because they're bad or wrong, but because those are people who can recognize why you might be having these problems and help you. 

Keep us posted if you do end up talking to someone. You deserve the best.
submitted by Periwinkle, age Pi, Somewhere in the stars
(December 28, 2022 - 7:46 pm)

Hi, I'm so sorry you've been feeling this way.

It kind of sounds like you're having mood swings, which can happen because of age or various other things. No matter what, though, mood swings aren't always--they can be, depending on what age you are, but aren't always normal, so you should tell a trusted adult or parent.

If you're having a hard time fixing this, talk to a trusted adult, which is what I do when I feel down or sad for no reason. 

Please don't think I'm ordering you around! This is just friendly advice.

-Echo <3 

submitted by ~Echo Hallowswift~
(December 28, 2022 - 11:08 pm)

Pretty sure this is a normal thing -- at least it is for me. As previous commentors have said, it can be very common, especially among certain age groups, like teenagers, to have moods swings. Sometimes it's because of something that happens, sometimes it's only puberty/horomone changes, and sometimes it's just life tossing you around for no real good reason. 

Having really wild moodswings might also be a sign of a mood disorder, but please see a professional rather than diagnosing yourself or listening random people, especially on the internet. With that in mind, what you've described sounds a lot like depression (the feeling of your mood falling way down and feeling real,y sad, bored or hopeless, followed by a lack of interest/motivation in normal activities, in which you don't want to do anything), which you've probably heard of. It's a very common struggle for people all across the world, and sometimes feels like it cones out of nowhere, but can often be remedied through counselling, medications and/or personal work on making changes in your life. Furthermore, the 'riding a very high feeling of euphoria' (especially when filled with reckless and extremely impulsive behaviour), followed by 'intense bouts of depression' could also be a potential sign of Bipolar disorder, or a myriad of related diagnosis. Basically, if it's affecting your life, relationships and/or work, I'd advise you go seek psychiatric help. If not, but it still bothers you, feel free to go to counselling or speak with a professional, but at least know that this is a completely normal part of life and growing up; you can work through it, and everyone has to face this in one point or another in their life.

Regardless of what the cause(es) of these mood fluctuations are, you're right. It can be difficult to change, especially if you don't know what's going on. Even when you do, it can be really tough. But I believe you're strong, and seeing how you've already reached out on here, I think it's very possible for you to overcome this roadblock with the help of those you trust.

submitted by Jaybells, Lost, but not too Lost
(December 29, 2022 - 5:44 pm)