Advice Thread -

Chatterbox: Down to Earth

Advice Thread -

Advice Thread -

H ave you been feeling stressed lately? Are you worrying about school, sports, friend drama, or anything going on irl that you just wanted to talk about in a supportive place? Do you need advice but are afraid to ask?

Chat, rant about anything that's bothering you because it's good to get it out, (anonymously if you prefer), ask for advice, give advice, and more!

if you're talking about irl issues, don't use anyone's real names and keep it appropriate. I'm sure the admins will handle that though. ^^

submitted by posiitively <3
(August 23, 2022 - 6:31 pm)
submitted by toppity bottom
(August 23, 2022 - 9:12 pm)
submitted by top!
(August 24, 2022 - 7:04 am)

I've been feeling lonely lately and I don't think my friends like me because I'm boring.

submitted by Anonymous
(August 27, 2022 - 12:32 pm)

Hi Anonymous, 


I used to struggle with that as well. I would start talking to my “friends” and they would ignore everything I said so I assumed I was boring. However, NOBODY is boring. Everyone is unique in their own way. If your friends think you’re boring, maybe they just don’t appreciate your interests. For example, you might be going on and on about this incredible biography you discovered when your friends only like to read science fiction. I suggest looking for people who do share your interests and getting to know them.


And now that the advice is finished…here comes the rant.


 Rant starts:


So, um, I have a really enormous problem that is pretty much trapping me wherever I turn. Almost everything in the world is a requirement for me, whether it’s getting good grades, not being clumsy, wearing nice clothes every day…add dozens more to that and you have my situation. Probably some people think i’m lucky, since i seem like the girl who can do everything effortlessly with a good attitude and amazing motivation…but…it’s not what it seems.

The trouble is when my schedule is different or I’m lazy and don’t do everything. The automatic response is 1. Apologize if anyone is angry at my mistake, even if I didn’t make a mistake; 2. If someone is grumpy or grouchy and irritable, I back away after they have snapped at me and usually read some comfort book. 3. When the problem’s at its worst and i’ve hurt my pride or i’ve made other people suffer for my mistakes, i will cry buckets of tears, hide behind a pillow or in my closet, and it’s lucky that i don’t like pain because otherwise i would purposely ram myself into the wall…or much, much, much worse. sometimes i feel like ripping myself into shreds no matter what the pain would be, and i always really really hate myself and then go on hyper mode setting goals in my planner that never get completed because i can’t do everything. And of course, once I find that I’ve failed again, the same process repeats again, just with me yelling at myself with all of the negativity that has built up over the years. Sometimes it gets to the point where i could almost kill myself wtih shame and anger and despair and despair and despair. 

It’s terrible…and I can’t escape it. Part of me fears that it’s too late and I’ll be stuck in one miserable cycle for eternity. Someone help, please.

submitted by Distressed CBer, age Not saying, Depths of Despair
(August 28, 2022 - 5:31 pm)

Hi there. It's really late where I live right now, but I wanted to respond to this, because I feel a lot of people, myself included can relate.

Anyway, don't trap yourself in your own expectations! It's okay to mess up, it's okay to forget things, it's okay to make mistakes! Don't let this stop you. You don't deserve all this pressure, let loose, take a few deep breaths, and tell yourself: I don't need to be that "perfect" someone in my mind. The more you try to reach for that, the more it's going to take its toll on your well-being. 

Stop hurting yourself mentally. Lashing out at yourself isn't going to help anything. Just try to focus on the fact that we are human, and we ARE NOT PERFECT. I bet your friends and family love you the way you are. And don't take responsibility to say "sorry" when it's someone else's problem. Let them handle their emotions and talk about it with them after the situation has cooled. You can't do everything, and failing is an option. Failing means you're trying your hardest.

I don't know you personally, but if I could, I would go over to your house to give you a hug, watch your favorite movie, and read books together. Because you deserve to be happy. And I can't. So, tell that annoying, judgmental, negative part of your mind: BE QUIET! You are great as you are, and our imperfections are what make us great.

Annnnnnd: I will conclude my badly written Ted Talk with some quotes!! <3

"You were born to be real, not to be perfect."

"You are enough. A thousand times enough."

"In your own life, it's important to know how spectacular you are."

<3 <3 <3 <3 

submitted by anonymous support, <3 yourself
(August 28, 2022 - 8:28 pm)

(don't mind me, just randomly dropping in)

I love that first quote! Who said it?

Also, @Distressed CBer: I relate so very much, and I am so very bad at giving advice, but I second anonymous support. No one is perfect, and we love y'all anyway. Even if you know that, though, it can be hard to break the cycle -- just, forgive yourself, accept you're human, & try & move on. There's nothing wrong with being ambitious, obviously, or even competitive, but in the end most of the things we worry about aren't that important anyway. It's more important to love yourself than it is to get good grades, or whatever it is you worry about.

Anyhoo. I hope things get better for you. Good luck with life. <333

submitted by Artemis
(August 30, 2022 - 2:57 pm)

I don't usually give advice, but I read this and just wanted to tell you: Sometimes it's OK to do nothing. Take a day off once in a while. Sometimes I also get the feeling that I need to set goals for myself and accomplish them every day, or that I can never do enough. But honestly? Don't overwork yourself. Sit on the couch in your basement while eating mozzarella sticks and watching Adventure Time. Or you know, whatever show you're into. Take a walk. Read a book. 

Orrrr, if that doesn't help, talk to someone in real life! As a not-super-structured kind of person, I can hope what I said helps, but I have no real way of knowing. No matter what Simon and Garfunkel said, no one is a rock, or an island. Discovering now I may be really not great at giving advice, but hopefully just *taking a break* can help. No one can be productive all the time, and In fact it's not even healthy to try to be productive all the time. Chillax. (Is that even a word? I think so but if it's not it should be.)
submitted by Darkling , Awkwardly giving advice
(August 28, 2022 - 9:59 pm)

So, I have this problem where I randomly start worrying about things out of my control. It can be anywhere, at home alone, in bed at night, with my friends, when I start to freak myself out and I feel sick inside. And I have a bad habit of straightening things out over and over again, because if they aren't straight they bother me, and that scares me that I might have OCD. I don't know why I'm wriitng this, bye.

submitted by :(, age XX, nowhere
(September 5, 2022 - 8:37 am)

i have two friends (ill call them person a and person b). i was under the impression that they were pretty good friends but recently learned from person a that person b exculded them from a bunch of things and once even talked to them really meanly, calling them evil and all sorts of bad things. i was shocked cuz both of them seem like really nice people and theyre pretty good friends of mine. i told person a that there is probably something deeper to it and i think maybe the two of us should confront person b (i'd rather i or someone else was there when it happened, because it sounds like they have talked alone before and it hasn't gone well). does this seem like a good plan? i don't want person b to be lash out at me, but i also hate it when drama like this happens and i think if people just talk it out it's much better. if anyone has any tips or insight into why such a seemingly nice person could be such a jerk to one person, that would be greatly appreciated.  

submitted by mercury, washington state
(September 15, 2022 - 11:05 pm)
submitted by TOP
(September 18, 2022 - 9:38 am)