Okay, guys.  I

Chatterbox: Inkwell

Okay, guys.  I

Okay, guys.  I don't remember if i posted anything else before, but here something is.

As she continued down the long dark hallway, she glanced over her shoulder.  Something was following her, and something big.  But what?  Everybody knew she could see ghosts, and that she could feel people looking at her.  So was this a ghost of a human?  The big question.                                                                                                              

Soon she heard footstep.  Amber cursed under her breath.  IT was a human, and by the sound, it was the principal of her school, Principal Carrls.  She groaned.   Nobody ever entered the school at 12:00 a.m. unless they were going to egg a  teacher's room.  Which was exactly the reason of what she was doing here.  "Amber! What are you doing here?"

How do you guys like it?        

submitted by Horse Rider
(February 14, 2009 - 3:59 pm)

Ooh!!  GOOD!!!!  Bad girl, BAD!!!!!  :D :D :D :D

submitted by Laura M., age 15, Santa Rosa, Ca
(February 14, 2009 - 5:16 pm)

Nice! I have 1 question though.  How is Amber able to see ghosts?  Also, maybe you don't immediatly want to jump into the action.  Keep the suspense building, then begin an action scene. Oh, 1 more question.  If Amber didn't know who was following until she heard footsteps, then how would the principal know it's her?  Other than those aforementioned things, it's really good and you should keep writing.

submitted by Onyx, in the rock(tha
(February 14, 2009 - 5:20 pm)

I have a question.  Why would you of all people be writing about EGGING THE TEACHER'S LOUNGE?!?!?!?!?  This doesn't bode well at all.

submitted by Phoenix
(February 16, 2009 - 12:54 pm)

I have one piece of constructive critisism that I noticed. The last two sentences sort of repeat -- you have "what she was doing here. Amber! What are you doing here?" That just stood out to me personally. Other than that, I liked it!

submitted by Allison P.
(February 16, 2009 - 7:22 pm)

Thanks, Allison.  I'll somehow fix that.  GRR!

submitted by Horse rider
(March 2, 2009 - 6:28 pm)