Here's a story

Chatterbox: Inkwell

Here's a story

Here's a story which I wrote a while ago. I'm just going to post a little bit of it (so you don't get so bored!) and give me feedback, please! Oh and don't critizize the random use of the term "moon". I used it to give the story a fantasy touch.

Sunlight kissed Selene's pink cheeks. She stared down at her map and
frowned. King Erik's castle was nowhere close to the forest. How was
she supposed to make it to the castle it a blue moon's time?
"Men, we must move onward," Selene grunted. She mounted her horse Midnight and galloped away.
"Oi, Selene, where are we heading?" Selene's older brother Frether asked as he caught up with her.
"Mother Kelson, for she reads the stars fluently, and I need to know when the next feathered moon is," Selene replied.
"Sister, Mother Kelson reads at such a high price. How will we
maintain our journey to King's castle without many coins left?" Frether
asked worriedly.
Selene stared gravely at the vast expanse of wilderness before her
and replied, "Father may have failed this journey but he died trying.
He has opened many doors for us, making our journey easier than his,
but it is still difficult. If we don't get help, we will have the same
selfless fate as our father. Would you rather die not trying to help
the elven people or die trying to help the elven people? We need Mother
Frether stared at Selene. Her blonde braided hair flew in the wind.
Her serious blue gray eyes reminded Frether of their father. Frether on
the other hand looked like his mother. His brown hair and and brown
eyes were exact copies of his mother's.
Selene kept leading the troop deeper into the woods until one man
called, "It is sunset!" Selene dismounted her horse and started
unpacking. The others followed suit until she froze.
"Halt!" She ordered. Everyone stopped what they were doing and
Selene listened carefully. "We're being attacked." She murmured.
The men quietly drew their swords and soon a pack of Quelfrops leaped out of the bushes.
Quelfrops have blood red skin and have ram horns on their temples.
Their hands are the size of watermelons and their feet are as large as
pans. Quelfrops are ten feet tall and are menacing, but Selene had no
reason to worry. She was prepared for this battle.
Selene drew her pearl sword and braced herself. Quelfrops were
difficult fighters and very strategic. They wouldn't give up a tough
fight until they won. Even though this was Selene's first battle with a
Quelfrops, she'd heard stories of warriors who had beaten them, so she
knew what to do.
One Quelfrops immediately attacked one of the men and Selene stabbed the Quelfrops in the back and blue blood gushed out.
"Thank you!" The man thanked Selene by bowing in the Elven language.
Selene nodded curtly and went back to battling. Everyone was being
attacked and as Selene fought off some Quelfrops, she noticed out of
the corner of her eye, she saw a Quelfrops light a fire on her pack.
Immediately, she ran to the Quelfrops and tried to attack it, but it
was quick and with his enormous hands, he snatched her and picked her
up. Selene screamed and Frether looked away from his battle to see what
was happening but he got slashed in the back.
"FRETHER! Run!" Selene screamed. But her brother was sprawled on
the ground moaning. The Quelfrops threw Selene on the ground and she
was knocked out.

submitted by Kinaya H., age 12, Virginia
(February 17, 2009 - 8:17 pm)

I'm sorry to sound like everybody else, because this is what we always say, but it's true...


No, seriously; is that not familiar?

submitted by Mary W., age 11, Bordentown, NJ
(February 18, 2009 - 5:38 pm)

Gosh, that is good! I mean seriously, it's not

at all boring!!!! Great work:DSmileWinkSmile

submitted by Megan M., age 13, Ohio
(May 10, 2009 - 1:37 pm)