I've been trying

Chatterbox: Inkwell

I've been trying

I've been trying to rewrite the Colors of Dystopia.  I've changed the name to the Color Files, since that's a very important aspect of the story, that every character is named after a color and has a file in an infinitely large network that none of the characters knows about.


A young woman sat at a computer, with a boy about her age standing at her shoulder.  She typed in code quickly, breaking through firewalls and hacking her way into the files.  

"You think we can find them?" the boy at her shoulder asked.  "We've tried so many times."

"I know that it'll work this time.  It has to," the woman replied, barely taking her eyes off the screen.  She pulled up a file titled 'The Baerlands'.

July 14, 3045

The ReBellion camp was in chaos.  RWR warriors held knives and shot at the reBels, who were unprepared for the attack.  Purple was being especially forgiving towards the RWR, while Pink was being rather kind to the ReBels.

Silver split from the group, silently fuming at Red's orders,  He pulled out his knife and tore through the first makeshift tent he saw.  These things really weren't effective in protecting the ReBels, but if they don't care, he didn't care either.  The only thing he found in that tent was a kid no older than twelve, wearing a scared expression and a bandage on her leg.  Her long auburn hair hung in tight curls, strands falling into her face.  Silver sighed and walked away, scowling at ther girl.  He could almost feel her sigh of relief.

He went to the next tent, dodging a bullet flying past his ear.  He cut the next tent open.  There, he found what he needed.  Inside that tent, Green was tending to a wound on Orange's forehead.  They both turned toward Silver.  But before they could say anything, Silver grabbed Green by the hood of her light parka and walked away, dragging Green behind him.  

"Green!" Orange cried, reaching out towards her while she struggled.  Why he didn't just just run over and grab her, Silver didn't know.  Maybe there was something wrong with his leg.

Silver used his other hand to press the communicator in his ear, saying, "I've got her.  If she doesn't give an answer we can kill her."

July 22, 3045

Orange sat at the edge of the cliff, looking over the edge at the barren desert wasteland.  He was looking for Green.  It had been a week since the attack from RWR, and a week after he had seen Gray drag Green away in the midst of the raid.  It was weird.  Gray wasn't usually known to do things when it would hurt others.  He was a total pacifist!  Orange wondered why Gray would do such a thing.

Orange snapped out of his thoughts as he spotted a glimmer of dark red approaching the bridge across the river that connected the ReBellion and RWR territory.  It was the hair of a tall figure, followed by two others.  The first figure was none other than Red, the tyrannical leader of the RWR.  At that, Orange should have ran back to camp and told Blue.  But he didn't, held by curiosity.  Blue wouldn't believe him anyway.

He watched Red crossed the bridge, followed by Silver, who was holding Green hostage.  Wait, how did RWR get their hands on Green?  Orange looked closer.  The malicious look on Silver's face reminded him of the face he had seen on Gray last week.  Gray was Silver's twin, Orange realized.  It wasn't Gray who had taken Green, it was Silver!


What do you think? 

submitted by Lucy B., age 13, Emmilvien
(October 8, 2017 - 3:17 am)

Nice! I like it; your writing tone is distinguished, and you show different characters' viewpoints quite well.

submitted by Pepper Star
(October 8, 2017 - 7:41 pm)