Writing contest... Sorta.

Chatterbox: Inkwell

Writing contest... Sorta.

Writing contest... Sorta.

I'll be the first judge, prompt is 'Salute'. Deadline is Feb. 15, 2019. GO. 

submitted by Rogue Wildling
(February 4, 2019 - 6:35 pm)

Hey Claaws! *hugs* No, not really said hi, I mean, I've seen you around (mostly on the Hearth thread - and when I'm stalking around the CB without posting, heheh) Thanks! The deadline is the twenty-fifth, I think. Even though I just checked. *double-checks* Yup! 25th!

Hello, Rogue Wilding! (By the way, I LOVE your name! It's so ... well, so ... well. So? I don't know how to say it, I guess.) I haven't really met you yet, but I've (as aforsaid) been reading a lot of posts/threads, so I feel like I know you. :P And thanks! I think I've improved since, er, the rest of my life.

Swift says "bura" Is that burr? A burr stuck in your ... apple coat? "nway whts aple coat?" Yeah, I don't know either.

submitted by Coconut the dog, age I forgot, In the bed
(February 24, 2019 - 3:31 am)

Yeah, the deadline is the 25th.

Thanks, Coco! Have you seen my What would you... thread? I'm kinda proud of it. *Blushes* But you don't have to go read it if you don't want to...

submitted by Rogue Wildling
(February 24, 2019 - 10:57 am)

So here's mine...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One 

I feel the march. I'm not there yet I feel. They pound their boots into the ground. Pounding away to keep us safe. Group by group they pound along the road. Toward danger, toward death. Only few escape.

Two 

I hear the roar of engines. I'm not there yet I hear. The fly high into the clouds. Flying to keep us safe. Plane by plane flying in the sky. Flying toward danger, toward death. Only some evade.

Three

I smell the salty sea alone. I'm not there yet I smell. It travels far down far deeo. travels to keep us safe. Boat by boat traveling out alone. Traveling toward danger, toward death. Only some survive.

Four

I face the flag of our country. The one that like many before us I swore to protect. Like my family I swore to be loyal. Walking into danger. Walking into death. Will I make it?

five

I see the guns. I am there and I see. They rapidly fire yet time is slow. I feel the power of them. I hear the shots ring out. I smell the gunpowder. I see the bullet. I face our flag for the last time and

Salute.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

submitted by Moonlight
(February 24, 2019 - 5:01 pm)

@Rogue: Yes, I did! I really liked it, I enjoyed how you used the CBers as characters. Only critique(possibly two): Er, Cockleburr is a girl, and is Leaf Leafpool? If so, she's a girl too.
If you're just using their names and not the CBers characters themselves, then please excuse me, I meant no offense. *bows elaborately and then ruins the effect by looking up and grinning*

submitted by Coconut the dog, age I forgot, In the bed
(February 25, 2019 - 1:51 am)

Oh! No, I'm just using the names. :) No offense taken! I'm really glad you liked it! A short explanation for the names though: In the Hollow Kingdom, you'll see this when as the story proceeds, but the people are named after things like cockleburrs and leaves, some are specific and others aren't. Eventually, you'll find out Kione's real name, but you'll have to stick around for a while. ;)

submitted by Rogue Wildling
(February 25, 2019 - 5:06 pm)

Okay! Judging!

First place: Chinch! The bleakness of the situation was portrayed well through your blunt and straightforward writing.

Second place: Blue Moon! I'm not a huge fan of poetry, but even I can appreciate what you did. The formatting was a little wacky, and I would have liked it more if capitalization and punctuation (sorry, grammar police here, this is just my opinion) were taken more into account, but I really quite loved your use of italics and parentheses, as it gave me a sense of silence, like the person is thinking it through and internally arguing with themselves.

Second place tie: Moonlight! Your imagery was amazing, and I enjoyed watching the character transform from a civilian saluting the soldiers to a soldier saluting the flag.

Okay, so how this is going to work is I can't write in the next round. It's to avoid bias. Basically, the judge cannot write in the round after they judge so that the person they nominated for first wouldn't have a prejudice, even a subconscious one. Chinch! You're on!

submitted by Rogue Wildling
(February 25, 2019 - 5:22 pm)

Congrats, eveone! ooh, I can't wait for next round! 

submitted by Soren Infinity, age 27 eons, BeaconTown
(February 25, 2019 - 8:59 pm)

Here's my story. I'm such a last minute person. XD

The wind picks up, blowing dry, cracked leaves across the familiar cobblestone streets. I pull my coat tighter and continue slowly walking. I carefully look around, memorizing every detail of this place I might never see again. At least not for a very long time.

Later that evening I return home. The mood is grim, no one is smiling much. My packed trunk sits near the doorway, reminding us all of what is happening. A steaming dinner is at the table when I sit down, but no one is really eating. I remember a similar scene when my older brother left a few years ago.

Not much is spoken. The silence says it all.

I am leaving tomorrow and no one knows if I will come back. Ever. The war out there is brutal.

That night I toss and turn, sleep evading me. Eventually I fall into a fitful sleep for a few hours.

My mother wakes me at dawn, and I slowly get ready. The entire family is waiting for me downstairs.

We cry, hug and kiss. I don’t want this bitter sweet moment to end. Finally it has to end. I savor every last moment, wiping a tear from my eye. But I have to be strong.

Finally my father takes me to the train station where I will leave from. Inside the station everything is grey and dirty. People bustle about, no one looks happy. It is a sad, dreary place. Before I step onto the platform, my father looks into my eyes and hands me something small.

“Keep this with you at all times” he says. “And never forget who you are.”

It is a small book with little notes from all my friends and family.

“Thank you.” I say softly.

“Stay strong, my soldier.”

“I will”

I step onto the platform as the train is arriving. I look back and my father salutes as a final goodbye. I’ll always think of this book as a salute, as a way  to remember. And I will never forget.

 

submitted by Dandelion
(February 25, 2019 - 6:02 pm)

Okay! Thank you so much, Rogue! My writing has never been described as straightforward and blunt before, so that's interesting.

Yes, I did end that sentence like that because I'mma tired and I didn't know how to end it. SO, will you, Rogue, be deciding the next prompt, or will the judge decide the prompt every time? (Like the newly nominated judge, will be suggesting and/or deciding the prompt for the round they will be judging)

Just wondering! Also Dandelion, you're a bit late... but I think that is amazing. It certainly evoked emotion in me, which is always a good sign, and I enjoyed the description of the bleak feeling at the dinner. I really like it. Rogue, would you still consider it even if it's technically late? (At least, I think it's late. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too tired to be writing right now.) 

And apparently I once wrote 'DAPOPCORNGHOST' in the 'Location' bit that you can write in when posting a comment. Just an odd thing I noticed.

Or possibly it was John FQ.

....

I'm going to bed now.

submitted by Chinchilla@Rogue, Also, kinda @Dandelion
(March 2, 2019 - 9:03 pm)