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"Beautiful day, isn&
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"Beautiful day, isn&
"Beautiful day, isn't it?"
Ida sat up, snapping awake instantly. She didn't know where she was. She couldn't remember anything besides her own name. And she was in what appeared to be a train car--it was moving rather fast, too. To top it all off, there was a strange woman standing above her. The woman had bright blue eyes, impossibly pale skin, and long, wavy golden hair that glowed slightly. She wore a grand looking white dress that trailed on the floor behind her.
"Wh-who are you?" Ida said, scrambling backwards quickly .
The woman smiled at her. "There's no need to feel fear, my little Soulbeing. My name is Henki. I am your guardian and my job is to protect you."
"Where are we? And what's a Soulbeing? How did I get here? And why can't I remember anything?" Ida stumbled over her words .
Henki bent down. "It is alright, my child. We are on a train car, and I brought you here. You will discover what a Soulbeing is soon enough, and your memory will be restored as soon as we can restore your powers. Which is what we're trying to do, by the way."
~~~
I had an idea for a story, so I decided I would write it on the Inkwell. So I could get constructive criticism and stuff.
submitted by Sybill, age ????, Kyngdom
(June 11, 2019 - 4:31 pm)
(June 11, 2019 - 4:31 pm)
Eheheheheh I see you liked the Soulbeing idea. ;)
(June 11, 2019 - 11:13 pm)
Yeah XD. Although in this, Soulbeings are a little different.
(June 12, 2019 - 9:22 am)
I love the first sentence! The mystery and cliffhanger-y stuff is so good. I feel like the description is a bit rushed, though- what does Ida feel like? What does the train car look like? Is it empty?
Really, though, this is pretty intriguing!
(June 12, 2019 - 9:44 am)
Wow, this is nice! Keep going please.
(June 13, 2019 - 1:17 pm)
Two hours of awkward silence had passed.
Ida sat on top of one of the red leather seats, her feet resting on the physical seat part. She was speechless and confused. She wanted to ask so many things. But she didn't know where to start, and instead remained silent.
Henki was scribbling something down in a sketchbook. It was tattered and worn, most of the pages were falling out.
Ida looked out a window. It really was a beautiful day. The sun turned the green hills a warm golden color. The sky was a perfect blue color and there wasn't a cloud in sight.
The train began to slow down. "Ooh, finally, it's our stop! Come along, Ida." Henki stood up and walked to the back of the car , where there was a door. Ida dutifully followed ner, simply because she didn't know what else to do. Henki seemed to know what was going on, so Ida figured that the best thing to do would be to stick with her.
But that didn't seem to quench the horrible dread that grew as Ida walked closer to the door.
~~~
(June 13, 2019 - 8:12 pm)
Maybe you could say that Henki walked to the door, instead of saying that she walked to the back of the car where there is a door.
(June 14, 2019 - 11:32 am)