This is something

Chatterbox: Inkwell

This is something

This is something I'm writing. Reviews and title suggestions please?

Chapter One:  I Move Into An Awful House 

 The house is so horrible I almost barf. "This is the house we will be living in for the foreseeable future?" I ask Dad, horrified. He nods. "It looks a little bad right now, but we can fix it up." I sigh, disgusted with his optimism, and shove past him to go inside. The steps to the door creak with my weight. When I open the door, thick clouds of dust whoosh around. I cough four times and sneeze thrice. 
  I survey the room. Most of it is covered in a layer of dust. I groan loudly and dramatically. Dad laughs and hands me a sleeping bag. "Go upstairs and pick out a room before Firefly and Natalie get there, huh?" Natalie has probably gotten out of the car and into the house without us noticing and examined all the rooms, but I don't tell that to Dad, who is trying and failing to cheer me up. I walk up the stairs 'seeping in melancholy,' as Mom would put it.
  The first room I come to is square and kind of boring, but has a lot of windows. The second is a little more interesting, with a window seat and a large closet. The third is the suite-like room Mom explicitly said she (and, therefore, Dad) had claimed. Fourth is another square with fewer windows.
  I climb up a short flight of stairs and open the door to the tower room (this house is the kind of house with little towers). Natalie looks up from an indigo sleeping bag and gives a little wave. I sigh, close the door, and retreat to the first square I found. 
   Please help me, God...., I think. I'm not a Christian but my Dad is, and I think I might try to be one. Please help me survive this house. I look out one of my windows at the house next to ours. Its front yard is wildly overgrown and the side (which I can see too-isn't this wonderful?) is covered with ivy that conceals most of the brick. With a start, I realize that a face is staring out at me from a window across from mine. It's a girl's face. The girl gives me a little smile and a wave. I wave back.

End Chapter One 

 

 I changed your username because it was not appropriate. --admin

submitted by Ye Old Jig
(June 15, 2020 - 1:09 pm)

Wow! Sounds super cool! I'm really interested to see where this story goes, and I'm really invested in the plot already! I also love your writing style, it's really nice :). What's the MC's name?

As for title suggestions . . . um . . . the girl next door's name? IDK, just a suggestion.

submitted by Raining Rainbows
(June 15, 2020 - 4:36 pm)

The MC's name will (probably) be revealed next chapter, which will be released tomorrow or Wednesday. And thanks for the compliment.

submitted by Cosme N
(June 15, 2020 - 6:33 pm)

Oh wow this is great. It kinda reminds me of the beginning of the Spiderwick Chronicles. Really good.

Also what is the genre? Is it fantasy or realistic fiction?

 

 

submitted by Evergreen, age nil, down the rabbit hole
(June 15, 2020 - 8:52 pm)

very nice. im excited to learn more about the characters and the girl next door... keep writing!

submitted by HeroesOfOlympus, age eternal, somewhere-everywhere
(June 16, 2020 - 11:13 am)

Ooh I like it!

submitted by Aqua
(June 16, 2020 - 2:01 pm)

Chapter Two: Starting to Haul Couches Around

"Cosette, Dad's broken his leg." I look up at Firefly, standing in my door. Uh-oh. A snake of worry pooling in my gut.
  I run downstairs and out the door. Dad is sitting on the driveway, looking pained. Mom is on her phone. She hangs up and tells me, "You have two choices: Either stay home with Natalie or come to the hospital." I stay home and watch as the car drives away, and wonder how Dad broke his leg. 
    While the others are away, I sweep the house. I don't see Natalie at all. Then I find my Essentials Box and bring it up to my room. 
   I hear a car door slam. I rush downstairs, but it wasn't Mom's car. It was just a neighbor's.
   This time when the door slams I peek out the window. It's Mom's yellow car, all right. 
   I run downstairs and haul in a couch for Dad (I'm very strong for my age). I push it against the peeling wall (another point against). After that I haul my bedframe upstairs. I'm about to go back downstairs for my mattress when I see the sign in the girl's window. It says "Can we establish relations?" in neat handwriting. Well, sure, but why didn't you just come over here and ask? I wonder. I find a notebook and sharpie and reply "Yeah."
   I've gotten my mattress up. Mom has gone by bus to get the other U-Haul, which has my bookshelf in it. There's nothing else to do here. I notice another sign in the window: "Come over 6:00 pm tonight."
  Okay, I will.
  I need to find a trash can.

End Chapter Two

Yeah, the beginning is kinda like Spiderwick...*starts reminiscing*..........My plan is for the genre to be rea-fi, but it might change. You never know.

 

 

submitted by Cosme Nadia
(June 16, 2020 - 7:29 pm)

Chapter Three: WHAT AM I DOING????????? (Officially titled Alexandra)
Dad has let me come to the neighbor's house if I take Firefly. Which is okay, since Firefly, Natalie, and I have bypassed the cycle of annoying siblings. Firefly chatters on about Star Wars as we walk up to the neighbor's door. I like Star Wars. But right now I'm looking at their front yard. It's dark, because there are many trees and smaller plants blocking the light. 
Wait, is that hemlock?!?
Weird.
I knock on the door, which swings open in seven seconds. The girl grins. "Hello. My name is Alexandra. What's yours?"
"This is Firefly, and I'm Cosette." Firefly waves. She nods. "Follow me."
To be continued
+
I WILL come back, hopefully, I hope.... 

submitted by I got around to , another chapter. Wow.
(June 30, 2020 - 11:39 am)

continued
Alexandra leads us through a hallway which is cluttered and narrow to a bright, clean kitchen. "This is the kitchen-though you are probably aware of this already. The girl making rice in a pot and stirring mac-and-cheese is my sister Allie."
Allie waves.
Firefly screws his face up. "I hate rice."
"Firefly, be nice," I scold. I have a chance to have a friend, something I haven't had for a while, and Firefly won't be the one to blow it. Alexandra walks out of the kitchen and Firefly and I follow her. "What kinds of games do you like? I have Uno, Sushi Go, chess, Monopoly (though that would be better started at a morning), Clue, and regular cards." 
"I like Uno, and Clue, and Egyptian Rat Slap," I tell her. Firefly peeks into a doorway. "Wow. can we play with the legos instead?" I follow his gaze. The room is completely empty except for a chaotic lego city. Alexandra shakes her head. "Nooo...Those are my brother's and he won't let anyone touch them but my other brother. Which is too bad, because my lego collection isn't half as nice."
"Oh," Firefly says wistfully. "Well, I guess we could play Go Fish."
End Chapter Three

Chapter Four: How Can I Beat Anyone at Go Fish If All I Can Focus On Are Those Legoes?
Firefly was losing bad. He had lost three out of three rounds, and now he had to eat rice. There were very few things (such as pizza, and blood) that he detested more than rice. Its texture was all horrible. And the culprit was those legos! He couldn't think of anything but those legos. He would be able to build so much with that many legos. 
Cosette poked him. "Earth to Fire. Got any aces?" 
He sadly relinquished his three aces. She squealed in delight and carefully placed another match on her growing pile. Alexandra opened her mouth to ask for threes, but was interrupted my a knock at the door. "It's suppertime," a muffled voice proclaimed.
to be continued.
+
I'm back!  

submitted by Velvet Serpent
(July 23, 2020 - 10:23 am)

continued
You won't mind moving to Ash Grove. Yeah, you'll miss the places you used to wander in, but you'll get over it. You always get over everything, alway and away. 
You are alone with your father in the house. An undesirable turn of events.
End Chapter Four 

submitted by Velvet Serpent
(July 27, 2020 - 3:52 pm)

Chapter Five: Dinner
You know where the library is. 
You grab the stolen phone.
You know where the store is too. 
You've been needing a new pen. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alexandra leads us to the big dining room where Claire and two boys are sitting. people are already sitting. "Where's Mum and Dad?" She asks, nd Claire says, "They could't make it."
Alexandra sighs. 
We sit down. 
"This is Ben and Avery," Alexandra says. "Ben is the nice one and Avery's the weird one."
Ben says, "Hi, nice to meet you. What're your names?" Avery ignores us. 
"I'm Cosette and this is Albert, my brother. We call him Firefly."
"Though I would prefer to be called Al," Firefly say.
"Okay, Al," Ben agrees.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You've been sidetracked by your favorite candy. 
Small enough to pocket, a voice hums. You laugh quietly and take a green apple-flavored one.
There are no pens in your brand here.

submitted by VS
(August 15, 2020 - 11:48 am)

Chapter Six: Just Look at This 

It sucks when all you can think of is that one song that you listened to over and over that afternoon in your room. When all you hear is her voice, stuck on repeat, and all you want to do is play it again, but you've got prior demands. Things you can't skip but you wish you could. Especially when your sister drags two children you've never seen before into the house and starts a rousing debate  on whether pancakes or waffles are better.
Who cares? 
Some describe me as pessimistic. I say they're wrong.

submitted by Velvet Serpent
(October 26, 2020 - 5:13 pm)
submitted by TOP!
(October 29, 2020 - 8:10 am)