Story snippets!

Chatterbox: Inkwell

Story snippets!

Story snippets!

What's up y'all, Star here! After getting some interest on my birthday thread, I've decided to start posting parts of my work back up on the CB. Some of you older CBers have seen my novel, and those characters will be featured heavily in my short stories. But if you haven't read it, no worries! I'll always provide a quick explanation of the background and characters before I post something. Depending on the popularity, about half of the stuff I post will be from my re-written novel (more info can be found on the super-long reply to Kitten on my birthday thread), and the other half will be short stories, some related to my novel and some not. (I also have some short screenplays, though I won't post those unless I get a special request from someone to read them, since they have a weird format.) I thought I'd start with the short stories, and give you guys a chance to put in some input! I have three short stories to pick from, and I'd like you to vote on which one you'd like me to post first. I'll post increments every Tuesday and Friday, since all of my work is handwritten and I need to have time to type it up (which I hate doing, hence the staggered updates). Here are the options as they stand now:

1. "Crow's Coffee"; A fully completed short story featuring never before seen characters, Angel and Roman. It's a coffee-shop romance with a magical twist! Genre: romance; trigger warnings: someone gets beat up (there is also a gun in that scene, though it is never used), a sexist boss, and there's also a kiss or two. (I'm calling it a trigger warning, but all of my work is appropriate for the CB. I'm just letting you know what's in it that people may not like.)

2. "Pirates"; An unfinished AU of my novel where Zoey is a mermaid, and the Eagles are a pirate ship crew, captained by Sterling. Genre: action/adventure; trigger warnings: unfinished, but so far the most daring thing is someone gets treated for a stab wound, Zoey transforms into a human without clothing on (and there is an ensuing search for an appropriately sized pair of pants, though again, everything is CB-rated. There is just a mention of her lack of clothing before someone gives her a coat).  

3. "Kismet"; an unfinished red-string soulmate modern day AU (wow adjectives) featuring Feroc and Tyrian. The official-ish synopsis is "Feroc and Tyrian are trying to find their mysterious soulmates by following the red string of fate. The catch? Feroc's colorblind." Genre: romance (though more like comedy if I'm being honest); trigger warnings: unfinished (like. really unfinished), the main relationship is between two guys (though all of my stories feature LGBTQ+ characters, so you probably shouldn't read any of them if you're not a fan), and someone will probably get beat up eventually, but I haven't written it yet.

Uh, yeah! Those are the short stories. Tell me which one you'd like to see! I'll tally up the votes in three days (so on Friday of this week) and then post the first section of the selected short story. Once the story is finished (or once I run out of content, or when I feel like it) I'll also post bits from my re-written novel. I'll include background for those, but probably not for the short stories (or screenplays, but again, those are only by request). Hopefully I covered everything, but feel free to ask if you have any questions!

~Starseeker 

submitted by Starseeker, age on hiatus, y'all can call me Star
(July 14, 2020 - 10:14 pm)

So... this just got real awkward, real fast. Looks like my original post (the first chapter of Pirates) did, in fact, go through. I was having some connection issues at the time, so I thought it didn't. Well then! More votes have come in since then (obviously), leaving the stories at:

Crow's Coffee: 3

Pirates: 2

Kismet: 3

So, once again, we have a tie! Kismet is once again one of the tie members, which probably means that I should start posting that one, but if I can be honest with y'all, I didn't think it would win so I haven't edited it yet. On that train of thought, I'll post the first chapter of Crow's Coffee! CC is the longest short story by far-- it's about 60 handwritten pages (currently at 20 typed pages, though I'm not quite done converting it), though the pages weren't full-size. I'll post it every Tuesday and Friday. I'm sorry for all the confusion; I thought y'all had gotten your votes in already when I made the announcement about Pirates. Please disregard my earlier post containing the first chapter of Pirates. The first short story that I will be posting is Crow's Coffee.

So, let me cover a few bases here, then we can get into the story (or the intro, rather). If CC isn't the story you voted for, don't worry! You'll get a chance to vote again near the conclusion of the story. I do intend to eventually post every story. And not every story I've written was in the original selection, either! I'll always give you guys 3 options to vote for. There'll be an exciting new story to run up against Kismet and Pirates in the next vote, I promise. I love any and all feedback, whether it's writing criticism, grammar thoughts, plot questions, or anything and everything in between. Don't be shy to share! 

Crow's Coffee is unlike anything I've ever written before. It takes place in a modern-day world, the only difference being that everyone has magic. There is a system of identifying people's magic, based on the government-issued pins they wear. Pins have three stripes: the top one indicating the type of magic (purple for air, blue for water, green for earth, or red for fire), the middle stripe indicating the stability (black for stable, white for unstable), and the last stripe indicating the strength (orange for strong, yellow for weak). I tried to stay away from the technical details in the story, but it may help you to have some background. Also, in case this isn't clear already, Crow's Coffee is not in the same universe as my novel, nor do the characters appear. CC focuses on a new cast of characters. The original name of Crow's Coffee was Fallen Angel, and I'm really not sure why I didn't call it that on here. Here's the teaser for CC, and then on Tuesday I'll upload the first full update!

~~~

My name is Angel Gravesten.

One week ago I was the personal assistant to Pierre LaFranca, CEO of LaFranca United. Now I’m suffering from life-threatening injuries from when I was beaten, broken, and left for dead.

How did I get here? 

This is my story.

~~~

~Starseeker 

submitted by Starseeker-FriUpdate, age oops, the REAL update this time
(July 17, 2020 - 8:44 pm)

I love this so much Star!! I hope you keep writing all those stories. :)))

<3 Fidelity 

submitted by Fidelity
(July 17, 2020 - 9:49 pm)

Well, that was not how I expected the vote to come out, but that's okay! I'm excited to read Crow's Coffee, and I'm also excited to see what other short stories you have in the works.

(Wow, I wish I had that many thought-out and somewhat-written wiritng projects!)

submitted by Kitten, she/her
(July 18, 2020 - 3:06 pm)

@Fidelity, I'm glad you like it! Some of the stories are finished and some need some serious editing (and some need to be completely rewritten, like Kismet, which is why I didn't pick it). 

@Kitten, I wasn't sure what to expect either. I know a lot of the people who read my novel originally aren't around as much anymore, so I wasn't sure if the ones featuring those characters would end up being popular. Which is why I didn't put much effort into rewriting Kismet, because I wasn't sure if it would win or not. The advantage of Crow's Coffee winning the vote is that it's completely written already, so I'll be able to focus on finishing some other stories (*cough Kismet cough*) while uploading that. I went through all the short stories I have written last night, and I think the total is 8 that I actually want to post? Some of them are written as far back as 2017 (while I was 12... haha YIKES) and one of them is actually an anthology of sorts, but all the stories are relatively short and go together, so I'm counting them as being one thing. I also have some one-shot scenes from my cyberpunk novel rewrite that I'll post along the way, though I probably won't put them in a vote, I'll just post them when I feel like it.

~Starseeker 

submitted by Starseeker, age on hiatus, y'all can call me Star
(July 19, 2020 - 4:54 pm)

I'd just like to clarify something I said in my earlier post-- I have no problem with the writing that 12 year olds do. I know some of you are around that age and I totally encourage you to write! My problem is with my own 12-year-old writing. I've been writing on and off since then, but it's enough that my writing style has changed considerably. So that's why I said what I did. I don't know if this clarification is even necessary, but I wouldn't want to say something that would accidentally offend you all or discourage you from writing. Again, I don't know if my words even had that kind of power, but better safe than sorry. Write on, y'all!

~Starseeker 

submitted by Starseeker (again), age hello, it's me y'all
(July 19, 2020 - 5:42 pm)

What's up y'all! (Haha, I seem to be starting all my posts out that way now.) It's Tuesday, which means the next installment (or in this case, the first installment) of the chosen short story, Crow's Coffee! CC doesn't have any official "chapters", but I went through it this morning and divided it up into sections. Currently there's 7 sections (so 3 and a half weeks of uploading), but the whole story isn't typed up yet (it's finished, but handwritten). I'm estimating it'll take about 5-6 weeks to get the whole story uploaded. If I feel like the pace is too slow, I may end up increasing the length or frequency of the updates, but we'll see. As time goes on, let me know your thoughts! And as for a formatting note, the three dashes "---" indicate a break in the story itself, while the three tildes "~~~" indicate the barrier between my author's notes and the story. That's something that I'll use no matter what story I'm posting, so I figured I'd just clear that up now.

~~~

My name is Angel Gravesten.

One week ago I was the personal assistant to Pierre LaFranca, CEO of LaFranca United. Now I’m suffering from life-threatening injuries from when I was beaten, broken, and left for dead.

How did I get here? 

This is my story.

--- 

“Oh my gosh, this cannot be happening right now.”

Those were the first words out of my mouth all morning, besides “yes sir”’s and “right away sir”’s. Working for Pierre LaFranca does have its benefits— instant status boost, good pay, killer view. But it also reduced me into one of those talking dolls— pull a string and she’ll say a phrase! How novel!

Despite that, my disbelieving words weren't said spoken in Mr. LaFranca’s office. No, they were said as I ran straight into a tiny toddler with his mom outside the building.

“I’m so sorry,” I blurt out, trying to prevent the disaster that I know is coming. I can see the stripes on the little boy’s chest pin— one blue, one black. Water magic, and at his age, of course it’s unstable. The little boy’s lips begin to wobble and his mother tries unsuccessfully to stop him from bursting into all-out wailing. As the boy’s cries intensify, a storm cloud forms over his head and starts pouring. I jump back, but not before I get fully soaked by the rain. The boy's mother puts up a shield in time— I idly eye her pin and identify her as air, stable but weak. She points to the yellow stripe indicating her weakness and smiles apologetically. I sigh but nod back— it’s not her fault she couldn’t throw up a shield for me, too. Besides, I should have been more on my guard. 

I leave the woman and her still-crying child on the sidewalk behind me and continue to my destination. Mr. LaFranca heard about the new coffee shop that just opened on the corner of— I check my slip of paper— 47th and Echo. He gave me no name when he ordered me to get him and his associates their coffee, but I’m assuming I’ll know the place when I see it.

My assumption pays off— when I reach the street corner, I immediately notice the new building squeezed between the high-rise apartments and the run down bar. It’s a little building, probably only a story or so, but it’s cute— charming. The outside is red brick, and the awning over the wooden door is striped black and white. The sign reads “Crow’s Coffee”. 

“Crow’s Coffee, huh,” I say, wringing out my wet hair and patting down my damp and wrinkled shirt as best as I can. “This better be worth it.”

I push through the front door and it’s almost like I’ve entered another world. Soft jazz music and the gentle chatter of patrons replace the honking horns and busy streets of outside. I suck in a breath as a rush of warm air greets me, and the smell of coffee and baking invades my nose.

“Good morning!” a barista calls from the counter. “Someone will be with you in a moment.”

“Thanks!” I call back, stepping forward to better view the menu displayed above the counter. I know what Mr. LaFranca and his colleagues want, of course; looking is just for show. A barista comes out of the back room just as I reach the counter. I’m immediately struck by his gorgeous chocolatey eyes and hair— it takes everything in me to return his “good morning”.

“What can I get you this morning?” the barista asks. He looks me up and down— oh my gosh, is he checking me out?— and a smile tugs at one side of his mouth. “Maybe a towel?” he continues.

“Oh, uh, no, I’m good,” I reply, smoothing my skirt down. “But I do need eight coffees— one black, one with whole milk, one with skim milk, one with whole milk and sugar, one black with sugar, one with skim milk and sugar, one with caramel coffee creamer and one with vanilla coffee creamer. Got that?” 

Now it’s the barista’s turn to blink at me. “Uh, yeah, I think so,” he says, and rattles it back to me. 

“That’s correct,” I confirm. 

“Alright, then. That’ll be $48.18.”

I hand over the money, and he counts it and hands me my change.

“That’ll be a few minutes,” he says. “You might as well take a seat. Can I get a name to call when the order’s ready?”

“Angel,” I say.

“Angel,” he repeats. “I’m Roman.”

I smile briefly at him, then find a seat in a corner booth by the window. I let my power spark to life and run its warm hands up and down my wet clothes. I’m careful not to let the fire burn hot enough to scorch the table— or my clothes. I spent way more money than I should have on this new skirt. 

“Order for Angel,” Roman calls out from the counter, and I stand, extinguishing the last of the flames. I walk over to the counter. Roman heaves eight coffees onto the countertop, and I frown.

“Is something wrong?” Roman asks.

I smile and shake my head. “No, it’s just that these coffees are a bit larger than the ones at the place I used to go to. I’m concerned they won’t fit.”

“Do you want a bag?” Roman offers, and again I shake my head.

“Nah, I have a bag.” I set my purse on the floor, rummage through it, and pull out the contraption Courtney and I created for carrying coffee. It looks like a hot air balloon with a wide lower basket with holes to put the coffee in. The red and white striped balloon top would usually be out and open, but Courtney, who was the one who filled the balloon with air, was a temp, and her time expired last week. Now I just carry the bottom basket part and use the burner to keep the coffee warm. Roman helps me load the coffee into the basket, and as he does, I get a good look at his pin. White for stable, orange for strong, and… 

“Hey. I have a favor to ask you,” I say. “Can you help me fill up this balloon?” I unfold the balloon and clip it onto the basket.

He raises an eyebrow. “You know that won’t make it float, right?”

“You’ll see,” I say.

Roman sighs, but the balloon fills up anyway. When it’s full, I spark the burner to life. 

“Fire, huh,” he says, eyes flickering to my pin. “Nice, but I don’t see how that’s going to help.”

“Just trust me,” I chide him.

He sighs again, but that sigh turns into a gasp as the balloon begins to rise. 

“Like a hot air balloon. Of course,” he mutters to himself. Then he grins at me. “I underestimated you, Angel girl.”

I smile back. “Just don’t do it again,” I reply.

---

When I get back to Mr. LaFranca’s office, I release my flame, let the balloon droop, and use the basket like a tray again. I enter the offices of each of his associates and give them their coffees. I end in Mr. LaFranca’s office, setting his coffee where he gestures on his desk. Then I leave and take my place at my desk, across from Jared.  Jared’s a nice enough guy-- earth, stable, strong-- but I have a feeling he’s gunning for my spot as Mr. LaFranca’s personal secretary. 

“Running coffee errands and you didn’t even get any for yourself?” he smirks. 

“That would be unprofessional,” I retort, and turn back to my work. But I’m still thinking about his words. Would it be unprofessional, really? If I use my own money and my own time?

~~~

So, there it is! The first installment of Crow's Coffee. Let me know if you have any questions, comments, or concerns! I don't know quite how long this will be-- it's about 3 and a half pages typed-- so I may increase the length of my uploads later. 

~Starseeker 

submitted by Starseeker-TueUpdate, age on hiatus, y'all can call me Star
(July 21, 2020 - 1:15 pm)

You are such a talented writer Starseeker! I can't wait for the next installment.

 

submitted by Hawthorne
(July 21, 2020 - 6:15 pm)

Wow, Starseeker, this is really good! my two qustion are what did Roman fill the ballon with? air? is Romans power air?

Yay, Zahava said her fourth real word! wait, do you want a toy? thats is what you said, so i guess you want a toy? *tosses a stuff dino to Zahava*

 

_-_Yayy yyouur leearrnninngg!!!!_-_ 

submitted by NoOneKnows, age ???, Everywhere
(July 21, 2020 - 6:50 pm)

Yay, first segment! I love your writing style, and I particularly noticed how you introduced the pin/magic system and the setting without making it a big thing— that’s something I always have a hard time with! 

submitted by Kitten, Daydreaming
(July 21, 2020 - 9:56 pm)

Ooh, I love it! You did such a great job introducing the magic system, it just felt really natural and well thought out. I can't wait to read more!

submitted by Quill
(July 22, 2020 - 4:21 pm)

Sorry, I meant to reply to y'all's comments earlier, but time got away from me! Also, just as a weird side note, as I was typing in the "Friday Update" part of my name, I got the chorus from the song "Friday" by Rebecca Black stuck in my head. I haven't heard that song in years, and I didn't even particularly like it when it was popular, so I don't know where it came from. Have you guys ever heard of that song? It came out in 2011, and the music video is so ridiculously early 2000's that it made me laugh. Anyway.

@Hawthorne, I'm glad you're enjoying the story! :)

@NoOneKnows, yep, Roman filled the balloon with air! I'm not quite sure on the physics of the balloon, since aren't hot air balloons filled with a specific type of air...? But it's my fantasy story, so I can do what I want. ;) Roman's power is air.

@Kitten, thank you! Something that always bothers me about reading books is just the straight-up info dump that's usually present. My personal policy is to assume that the reader already knows everything that there is to know about the world. If there's some complex worldbuilding stuff that I need to cover (such as what's present in Kismet), then I'll do a little intro, and set it as a basic prologue. Kind of like how I covered the topic of the pins in last week's update.

@Quill, your kind words keep me going! Thank you!! :)

And without further ado, here's this week's update! 

~~~

The next morning, I walk into Crow’s Coffee a little earlier. Roman looks up and smiles as I enter.

“You’re earlier today,” he remarks, looking me up and down. “And drier.”

“Ha ha,” I retort, a smile curling at my lips. “That was just a one-off.”

“Whatever you say…” he singsongs. “Same order as yesterday?”

I blink. “You remember?”

Roman laughs. “It’s not everyday a cute girl walks in soaking wet, orders 8 coffees, and carries them out using a hot air balloon.”

I laugh but my heart soars. He thinks I’m cute! “Well, okay then. Same order. But… add a cappuccino, with almond milk. And I’ll be paying for that separately. Is that okay?”

Roman frowns apologetically. “The money part’s okay, but we don’t carry almond milk. Only soy. Sorry Angel, girl.”

“No, no that’s fine. Soy is fine,” I say, even though soy milk tastes gross. “Thanks.”

“No problem. That’ll be $48.18, with an added $4.30 for the cappuccino.” 

I sit in the table I sat in yesterday, the corner booth by the window. I wait there, idly enjoying the view, until Roman calls my order and I get it from the counter. I load the coffees into the basket but hold the cappuccino in my hands.

“That one yours?” Roman asks, jerking his head at the cappuccino in my hands. I nod and take a sip, the coffee flavor blending with the soy. I fight back a grimace and he laughs. 

“Sorry again about the soy milk,” he comments, leaning on the countertop. “My sister's on a diet too and she doesn’t like soy milk either.”

“I’m not on a diet,” I explain, braving another sip for his benefit. “But I am severely lactose intolerant."

Roman blushes. “Oh, I'm so sorry. I just assumed…” He trails off and waves a hand up and down at me. I raise my eyebrow in confusion. 

“You know…” he starts again, reddening further.

“No, actually, I don’t. But I gotta go. I may not be on a diet, but I am on a schedule. See ya!” I turn and leave the coffee shop, the bell tinkling behind me.

It’s not until I’m sipping the last of my cappuccino that I realize he thought I was on a diet because he thought I was cute.

---

The next morning, neither Roman nor I mention anything about the previous day. Weeks pass like this-- the same routine every day. Place my order, wait in the corner booth by the window, do some casual flirting. 

The same routine, that is, until I walk in one morning and Roman’s nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s Roman?” I ask the barista behind the counter, but she just shrugs and takes my money. I go to sit in my usual booth, but it just doesn’t seem right without Roman. Instead, I stand awkwardly up by the counter until the barista girl calls my name. The I take the coffee and load it into my balloon, frowning when I realize that without Roman, it can’t float. As I’m turning to go, a girl bursts out of the back room. 

“Wait!” she calls, and I half turn back. “Are you the balloon girl? Angie?”

“Angel, but yeah,” I say. “Why?”

“Roman left a note,” the girl says. “He asked me to blow up a balloon for you?”

“Oh, yeah, okay,” I say, and clip the balloon onto my basket. The girl closes her eyes and concentrates, and the balloon fills. 

“Oh my claws, that’s so cool,” the girl breathes as the balloon starts to rise. “I can see why Roman talks about you so much.”

“He… what?” I say, and the girl grins.

“Oh nothing. Say, don’t you have to be at work or something?”

“Gosh, yeah,” I say, taking a look at my watch and jumping into action. “Thanks for the help!” I call over my shoulder. 

~~~

So, that's this week's update! Thoughts, comments, concerns? This one's a little shorter than the last update-- about 2 typed pages instead of 3 and a half. If you think it's too short, let me know-- the story's already written, so I'm basically just choosing which part to upload. Also, (this one's mainly at Kitten and Quill, since they're the OG readers, but it's open to everyone) I was thinking of uploading a scene from my rewritten novel sometime this week. I have some of the first two chapters (from Jasak's perspective!) written, as well as the third one from Zoey's. I also have a canon one-shot of how Feroc and Tyrian met in the original novel, as well as a sort-of-canon one-shot of an angsty ending to the original second book. So, thoughts on that as well?

As always, stay safe and stay healthy, and I'll see you all on Tuesday with the next installment!  

~Starseeker 

submitted by Starseeker-FriUpdate, age on hiatus, y'all can call me Star
(July 24, 2020 - 3:07 pm)

This is really good! I like how you dropped in little "nuggets of truth" as my writing camp teacher calls them, like how being super professional makes you kind of lose your character and forget to do things for yourself. And as for the length, I think you should just do however long you want, as long as it's not ridiculously short. This part seemed fine, though!

submitted by DoodleGirl , age 13, Earth
(July 24, 2020 - 4:33 pm)

Ooh, I like it! Your characters are very good. I would like to read the one about Feroc and Tyrian, since I really wanted to read Kismet, but oh well, this is awesome!

submitted by HeroesOfOlympus, age eternal, somewhere-everywhere
(July 25, 2020 - 12:41 pm)

It's so good! I love the way you write characters, I'm already so invested in their story and where it will take them. As for your rewritten novel, I'd love to read some! The concept sounds so cool.

submitted by Quill
(July 25, 2020 - 2:57 pm)

I'm really enjoying this so far!

How long does it take you to write short storys like this?  For me it usually takes forever.  Mostly because I cross out more than half of what I write.  I rarely get my storys to the point at which it satisfies me.

I look forward to the next post!

submitted by Peregrine
(July 25, 2020 - 10:18 am)