Okay, so, here

Chatterbox: Inkwell

Okay, so, here

Okay, so, here is what I have so far of my book. I apologize about how rough it is, it os not yet edited for human eyes. towards the end it gets, like, really bad, cause I'm sturggling past writer's block (turns out I'm a lot better at writing the beginnings of books than the middles). When I don't know a characters name I just say ___ (ecxepyt different smounts of those). so there is a kot of typos, I know, again, not yet edited for human eyes. I apologize for the random words like "word crawl" in the middle, that wasn just to keep track of something. Also, at the end, there is a paragraph that belongs near the beginning. So, this is, like, really long (over 10000 words). I might post a thread where I add a chapter every week and maybe edit those parts better. This is your last warning:


You can give feedback, I guess. Here it is:

Chapter 1 - ___

I woke up to the sunlight streaming onto my bed through the gaps in my curtains. I smiled and just lay around in bed for a while, enjoying the soft, cushiony feel below me and the warm blanket. Eventually I got up, slipping out of my bed and feeling the lush carpet beneath my toes. My vast wardrobe slid in front of me without a sound; rows and rows of silky clothes to wear. I chose a yellow ___ (I haven’t yet decided what it’s called), a loose men’s garment that went down to about the middle of my thighs. This one was a pretty yellow, like sunshine, with a thick red ribbon to tie around the waist. I changed out of my pajamas into it and a pair of pants. “It would be nice to have some breakfast right now,” I thought allowed. “My favorite.” Soon, breakfast arrived: pancakes with banana slices on top, drizzled with maple syrup and strawberry sauce. Ever since mankind had performed a great deed - the details weren’t important - our species, the Celestials, had been gifted with a world of budding flowers, perfect weather, and no work required. I finished my meal, washing it down with a glass of sweetened lime juice, and waived vaguely at the table. It, along with the leftover food scraps, disappeared. 

Word crawl:

I heard a ding and checked my watch. The words read “Coming! -Amie.” I grinned. Soon, she was at the door and walked in. She walked into the living room and up to me. Her auburn hair was tied up in a ponytail as usual, her freckled, short face and pretty features accenting her grin. She flopped on the couch next to me, cuddling her short frame next to mine. 

“How are you?” I asked, throwing an arm around her. 

“Good” she said. Amie and I talked for a bit, eat some watermelon (for some reason that I’ve never been able to figure out, Amie loves watermelon), than went outside to the garden, bird watching, an activity that both of us enjoy. Some of the Celestials spend their time weaving or sketching, but that seems like too much work for me. I enjoy sitting outside with whoever my latest girlfriend is, listening to the breeze and spotting birds at my feeder. And napping. Napping is good too. Amie went home and I said goodbye to her. 

I didn’t do much for the rest of the day. “Doing” was not a concept I was partial with. But then, later that day, something happened. Something that changed my life, whether for the better or worse. It was after dinner and I was about to go to bed, after I had just taken my shower and gotten into my pajamas. I was rounding the corner to my bedroom, and I heard a shuffling noise above me. I craned my neck up to the ceiling and then- a girl fell out of the ceiling.

Chapter 2- Lin

I rose, early as usual, attempting to stretch on my cramped ledge of rock covered by a thin, moth-eaten blanket that I am supposed to call my bed. I tried not to disturb my mother and younger brother who were both still asleep. I stood, dressed as quickly as possible, knowing that I couldn’t linger long on anything or I would be late and get in trouble. I  attempted to comb my dusky hair with my fingers, but it never seemed to stay out of my face for long. I rushed into the main room, a small space with a table, chairs, and a little oven to heat pots of gruel. My mother was a Factory Worker, making sure that the fabric machines where she worked ran smoothly. I got my ability to memorize and understand things, particularly mechanisms for her. Because she had a night shift she was currently asleep. My father was a Provider, providing other Minors- people like me- with the resources that they need for their jobs. That’s where I got my stealth. 

“Have our Portions arrived?” I asked.

“Not yet Lin, be patient.” Father teased. Me being impatient was an inside joke in this family. Apparently I used to always ask that question-- and still do. Portions were the shares of food and water that each Minor got one of a day- just enough to keep us going and be able to concentrate on our “important” job: keeping the Celestials happy. I suspect that, once my younger brother pasts the Test two years from now he will receive the job of Portion Dealer. He’s fast and strong, from my father, and honestly not very smart, but smarts were not something needed to be a Portion Dealer. 

Then I remembered. Two years from now she would take the Test . . . exactly two years from now as today was Testing day-- the day when all 11-year-olds took the Test to determine which job they would have. That meant that this was the day when . . . my face paled. It was the day that she would have taken the Test- an important time. But no. I still remembered that day, the day 11 years ago when the dice were rolled, when they took her. Father seemed to know what I was thinking. He can do that-- read my face, my thoughts. We have that kind of connection.

“I know,” he said.

There was a knock at the door and in came the portion dealer. He handed my father four sacks for the food, four larger, floppy bottles for the water, and held out his hand. I handed my father the container we use to store water for bathing and washing clothes. The Portion Dealer poured in the water and Father closed the lid. 

We went back to the table and sat. My younger brother, ___, came stumbling in, rubbing his eyes. Lucky thing. He was still just in school, and it was rare for him to have been born after Natasha. Minors were aloud to choose there spouses (with limitations)-- one of there few liberties-- and parents must have at least two children so that the population doesn’t decrease. Few have more. My parents were an exception. 

“Hi, Lin” He yawned, still rubbing his eyes. Okay, maybe I take back the thing about being Portion Dealer. He cannot rise early. But he’ll have to learn. I opened a sack of food. It was one of those rare days when we got to eat the Celestial’s leftovers. I grinned. 

“Look what we got! I guess it’s our turn.” I checked the clock. I wouldn’t have much time to heat it up, so I decided to just eat it. I took out a quarter of the food labeled “Lin” and golfed the small meal down. I took the rest of the food and the water and put it in my pack, lingering only for a second to look at the small photo of a baby on the wall. My Father and I headed out together through the cramped tunnels, then my Father went off in a different direction to catch his train and I went off to mine. Time to go to ___’s house.

Chapter 3 - ___

The train dropped me off at community D, section B. I got off and head through the network of tunnels until I got to a sign that read “___’s HOUSE. HOUSEKEEPERS ONLY.” I open the door and entered the dirty space between the boy I work for’s walls. 

Being a Housekeeper, my job is to work a Celestial’s house making it come alive and obey the Celestial’s every needs. I walked towards the space between the walls of his bedroom. Yah, I have to always be watching him. I don’t like it either. There was a screen on the wall next to me, one of the many monitors placed so that I could watch what he was doing. As usual, it took him hours to wake up and it was around 10 when the spoiled brat finally did. He took about 30 minutes to rise. As usual Peter, the other Housekeeper was the one to send out the wardrobe. (Each house had the number of Celestials plus one as the amount of Housekeepers.) When he was getting dressed, I shielded my eyes because, no. I sent him breakfast when he requested it by tapping part of the wall which made a screen light up, tapping what he wanted and switch a lever to make the table rise. It took a couple minuted for the machines to make sure everything was prepared, nice and perfect. His girlfriend came over and the went outside for a bit so the Gardeners had to temporarily take over my duties. Peter came up to me. Peter was a surly, squatish boy with blond hair and a rounded face who had replaced an old, friendly man named Henry who became to old to work a few months ago. He seemed even grumpier then usual.

“Hi,” He said flatly. “How are you?” 

“I’m fine” I said, mimicking his tonelessness. I had a strong dislike for this boy. The house was designed so that if only one of us was there we didn’t need to rush around to much as things were in multiple places, but Peter and I hated each other so we liked to stay separate anyway. The rest of the day went by in a fly. Or at least I wish it did. I finished my duties and I told Peter that he could leave early since he had done most of the work today and I would wait for ___ to go into bed and fall asleep. All I had actually wanted was for him to leave but little did I know at the time, that would really save me.

 As I was quietly following ___, in the above him, something went wrong. I stepped on a spot of the floor which was apparently somehow broken. My leg slipped through and I just managed to stifle a yelp. Oh no. ___ must have heard that. Then I realized that, because of the angle that my leg was sticking out, he could see it. Then I tumbed through the ceiling out onto the ground in front of him.

Chapter 4 - ___

I jumped back and screamed. *

I took all this in in a second. The strange girl’s eyes widened, and she fled as if for her life. I stood, shocked and wide-eyed. I must have looked like an idiot. Then, I raced after her. What was she doing in my house? I wasn’t very fast, but this girl was. She attempted to hide a few times but eventually I managed to corner her. 

“Who are you?” I demanded, my heart pounding. The girl squeezed her eyes shut and whispered one word:

“Help.” I stepped back.

“What are you doing in my house? You don’t look like one of us. And look at what you did to the ceiling!”

“I don’t-- I’m not supposed to--”

“Well of course your not supposed to be here!” I shouted. The girl winced and her shoulders sagged. She seemed to give up. Than she looked at me, a sad sort of glint in her eyes as if she had just realized that she’d failed. But failed what?

“If I told you, you wouldn’t believe me.”

“Tell me anyway.” She bit her lip.

“I . . . I can’t.”

“Your not one of us, are you.”

“No. I’m not.” her voice was bitter as if she wished this weren’t true. I shook her shoulders.

“Than who are you?”

“ . . . I’m Lin.”

“That’s not what I meant!” I was angry and frustrated, things that I didn’t have to feel often. “What are you if not human and what are you doing here? Why did you fall out of my ceiling?” She let out a choked, backwards sort of laugh.

“Let’s just say that ‘human’ isn’t synonymous with ‘Celestial.’” Now I was experiencing something entirely new and different. Fear. A gnawing sensation making me want to leave, to run, to panic. A feeling that something was wrong, very wrong.

“What . . . do you mean?” A human was a Celestial. The species had been nicknamed that after they had done a great deed . . . unless that had been a lie. Or, more likely, this girl, Lin, was lying. 

“You never saw me here. Don’t tell a soul. Especially not . . .” She glanced at my watch, and I noticed that she had one, to, but it looked very different from mine.

“The Authorities?” I guessed. “Well, I will tell them unless you tell me who you are-- not just your name, but also why your not a Celestial-- and what your doing here.” I meant it. I wanted, I needed to know this. She narrowed her eyes.

“You wouldn’t . . .”

“I would.” I put my finger to the button of my watch threateningly, as if to demonstrate. 

“Fine” she said, clearly scared-- more scared than I. “Will you tell the authorities if I do tell you?“ I could tell that this was the only way to get her to tell me.

“I promise.”

“Your perfect life isn’t really magical. I’m one of the people who make it happen.” She said this matter-of-factly, as if she was just stating a simple truth. 

“Wait, what?” I demanded. “Tell me more.” She hesitated.

“There are people . . . people called the Minors. We serve people like you. We live underground, working for you in secret. I’m here because I’m one of the Housekeepers. That means I walk through the walls and obey all of your little wants. And I’m always watching you. I somehow fell through the ceiling.”

“Always?” The shock of the moment would get to me later, but for now I was intrigued. Plus, that was pretty creepy.

“Always. Look, I don’t like this arrangement either. And I always look away when your changing or in the shower. Oh, and I’m not here when your asleep, then a Watcher will monitor you and a bunch of others in case you need something. But yah, basically.” I took a step back again.

“This is too much to absorb for now, but come back tomorrow. Or else.” I said. “Is midday fine with you? I don’t have any plans.” It was like a door had been cracked open, letting me finally see light-- that is, if this girl was telling the truth, and I had a sinking suspicion she was-- and I had to see the rest.

“You never do” Lin snapped. “But no, that won’t work. Peter’s here.” She said the name with disdain. Seeing my questioning look, she added “The other housekeeper.”

“Ah. What time will work?”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” she grumbled.

“I can’t believe it either” I added. She glared at me.

“I can probably come earlier” She said. “Don’t tell a soul. My life depends on it. Oh, and probably yours too.” My eyes widened. “It’s true!” She said. Celestials and Minors aren’t meant to mix. She commanded me to close my eyes.


“Just do it.” 

I obeyed, and then she was gone. Suddenly, this strange girl had become important-- and dangerous.

Chapter 5 - Lin

I left in a hurry, constantly glancing behind me, left and right. I was terrified. What had just happened? What’s going to happen? Why did the floor break? Was he telling the truth about not telling anyone? Had anyone seen? The Train Driver asked me why I was back later then usual, seeing that I was a Housekeeper. It’s just small talk. It’s only small talk. She can’t know what happened. 

“Oh, just . . . The Celestial took a while to fall asleep.” That was . . . sort of true? 

“Ah” said the train driver, and I shuffled deeper in.

I was quiet for most of the evening, not saying much and trying to mask my fear. My family didn’t ask many questions, as this was normal for me; some days I talk a lot, some days I don’t say much.

As I was crawling on the bed I felt something under my ratty pillow: two slips of paper. Handwritten notes. I was clutched with fear. Slowly, hardly breathing, I turned over the first one and read the neat, cramped script: You did well. My eyes widened and, making sure to hide it from view, I read the other one, this one in messier, larger handwriting: I know what happened.

Chapter 6 - ___

That night, I couldn’t sleep. So many emotions galloped through me like horses, spinning wildly and intermingling with the thoughts in my head. I decided to count them. Fear that my whole life might be a lie and that the girl, Lin, had been telling the truth and that if word got out I was going to die; curiosity about who the Minors were; anger at the world, at Lin; shock that, again, my whole life was a lie . . . . I gave up. They were too complex, much more than ever before. I tossed and turned in my bed. I wasn’t someone who generally had trouble falling asleep, and the few times that I had I could always say, casually, “I’m having trouble falling asleep.” saying things like that was normal for the hum-- no, the Celestials, I thought. Then, a pill would appear-- something would happen first, something sliding then it would appear? I never paid much attention and it was always dark. I would take that pill and fall asleep. But now I knew that it wouldn’t just “appear,” but someone-- Lin or, what was his name? Peter? Would . . . something, I had no idea what to make it appear. Unless she was lying, but then why would she have been in my house? And I went to look at the hole and it was coming from the corner of the ceiling, so then she was inside the wall when she fell like she said. 

Eventually, I gave up on trying to fall asleep. I got out of bed, but then I remembered Lin saying something about someone watching me while I was asleep, which would mean someone would try to help me, and I didn’t know how to feel about that. She could be lying, meaning I shouldn’t worry, and she probably was and it probably actually was magic like everyone has been telling me my whole life. But it doesn’t really matter, right? Nothing has changed. But I knew inside that that wasn’t true.

Chapter 7 - Lin

After an unrestful night of sleep I had to wake up early. I had set the silent alarm on my watch to an earlier time, but I still had to wait for the Portion Dealer. Mother was just getting to bed after a tough night at the factory. 

“Why are you up so early?” She asked.

“I only had a few minutes before ___ woke up last time, and I want to get up earlier in case he does again, to. Usually I have to wait hours.” I lied. Mother raised an eyebrow, but I was pretty sure that she believed me-- or at least I hoped she did. 

“Alright then.” 

Fortunately the Portion Dealer came earlier then last time. For some reason he had been pretty late yesterday; usually the Portions arrive before I wake up. I took the packages and grabbed my food and water for the day and set off, not bothering to eat just yet. I hurried through the tunnels and got on the train. I arrived and went into the house. I checked the time. It was about an hour before Peter usually arrived, and the time that he came usually didn’t vary much so I would have about 30 minutes to talk with ___ to not die. I ran to the place where I could monitor him in his sleep. He was sitting up with circles under his eyes. There are a few hours between when the Whatchers go home and the Housekeepers arrive, and this was during that time so I would hopefully be fine. I went to the hole where I had fallen out last time, being very careful about my steps so as not to fall again.

“___” I whispered. 

“Huh?” He had heard me. “How are you coming down?”

“I’m not sure, but not through here. I don’t know any other ways to get down, and I don’t know how I would get back up. I had to use th one secret door between last time, and I just realized that that’s much too risky so I think I’m gonna just stay up here this time. Also, we need to figure out how to hide the hole. 

“Oh . . . yah” said ___ groggily. After a pause he said, “I’m on it.” He pressed the button on his watch and my eyes widened. I scrambled back. He was calling the authorities! “Hi, part of my ceiling broke.” He waited a second. “Yah, I know its strange, maybe an error in the construction? I just woke up and found it, plus I pile of it underneath.” He paused again. “No, don’t come now, I’ve got plans.” Come later, like-midday.” He pressed the button on  his watch again, ending the call. I couldn’t help thinking that if there was a problem in my house, nobody would have bothered fixing it. 

“So explain to me. About you. Yout life.”

“Fine.” I said. “Hi, my name is Lin. I am 16 years old and for the past year I have been slaving away for you and living in a rotten underground chamber, not that you care.” He wrinkled his nose, clearly not liking my answer. 

“Tell me more.” And so I did. And so did I for the next two days. After the hole in the ceiling was fixed we found a spot where he could listen pretty easily, all so that he wouldn’t kill both of us. 

Sowly, Lin made me start to understand. I hated it, but I felt like I needed to know. So I forced her to tell me-- tell me it all. I learned all about the underground Minors who apparently worked for me, and what the cost would be if I told. But it wasn’t enough. On the fourth day when we did this I said to her, through the wall, 

“You should come out, you know. I can’t even see you in there.”

“Do you have any idea how risky that is? I think Peter almost caught me already once.”

You should come. I need to see your face.”

“No! We’ll get caught.”

“Or I could do the honors.” I heard an exasperated sigh on the other side of the wall.

“You know that would get you killed, too, right?”

“So how about you come out for me,” I suggested.

“Tomorrow. No time today.”

“Fine then.”

I was still using and enjoying my Celestial privileges, but it felt strange, knowing that the world wasn’t magical. It took away the mystique of it all. And for some reason it felt weird knowing that someone was behind everything, working for me. I didn’t feel guilty, that would be ridiculous, this was the way things were! Still though. It was creepy knowing that people were always watching me. My time with AMie didn’t feel as good anymore. The food didn’t taste as good either, the apparently artificial sunlight less nice. I wished that I could make things back how to they were, with me ignorant and not knowing the real reason my curtains would close “by themselves.” 


This morning, like the past few, I got up early and kept glancing over my shoulder on my way to work. This time I had to be even more careful. I traveled to the COmmunity D, section B stop as usual. I got off the train and wove through the tunnel until I got to ___’s house. This time would be even more risky then the past few. I entered the house and walked to the place where we usually talked. Fortunately, we had about an hour. 

“Here,” I muttered. All come out through the secret door. I went to section of the house where that was and I opened it. Although it was pretty stuck, like last time, I pushed it open. 

“Come here” I whispered.” Then I decided to just go to in. 

“Hi”he said.

“Happy?” I asked.

“Thanks for at least showing me your face. He raised an eyebrow. 

“Why did you even ask me to come out?” I asked.

“Because I want you to, and need to see your facial expression when you're telling things to me. 

“Huh. Still don't see why you need to risk both of our lives for a little want of yours.”

“It’s just. . . better this way,” he said, mildly embarrassed. “

“Whatever. Get us both killed, won't you”

Word sprints:

So we talked, and soon I had to go back inside the walls. The day progressed normally. I was even more worried then I had been the pastte past few daysfe days, constantly glancing over my shoulder on the way home, waiting for na ambush around the corner of every dark tunnel. When I got home I crawled into bed and, again, found two notes under my pillow. BarelyBarley able to breathe, I went under my sheet and took them out. The first I read was in the same neat cursive as last time: “and the plot progresses” The other one had the messier handwriting, just like last time, and a wave of fear past over me as I read it. “You shouldn’t have, for your own safety. Now I have no choice.” 

It had been very nice to see Lin’s face as she talked this time, even tough there were many sarcastic eyerolls. SHe went back into the wall after a bit. She was wrong, I knew, saying that we shouldn’t. It was

Word sprint 2 

What I wanted, and I had always gotten what I wanted. My day after that was pretty normal, even though my head was still throbbing from confusion like it had for the past-- was it a week now? More? Less? I had lost track of the time. My friend Chris came over. We had been friends since we were little, but we don’t really understand each other anymore. Chris was very handsome, and I had been urging him to get a girlfriend for quite some time now, but he said he didn’t want one. He spends  lot of time outside, like I do, but he does artmaking - sketching, mostly. I had never seen one of his drawings before. 

“Hi,” I said. “How are you?”

“I’m fine. We haven’t seen eachother in a bit, have we?” Chris pushed his blond bangs out of his hair, something he seems to constantly doing.

“Oh- have we not?” I asked, a bit quickly. You see, for some reason, random, off-hand comments had been bothering me lately, made me wondering whether they had something to do with the strange girl who apparently operated behind my walls, even if they were basically as mundane as things can get. 

“Yah” said Chris, confused.

“Oh. okay.” I said reaizing that this was yet another unimportant comment. Even the things that Amie said nowadays set me on nerve, and Amie was bout as innocent as you could get.

Eventually Chris went home and Amie came over-- for some reason they seem not to like eachother much. At least Amie isn’t jealous of Chris-- many are. Sometimes my mind would wander like this, and then I would check myself, thinking don’t get lost again. Keep a straight face. I did want to lose myself in the normal flow of things really, I did, but there was something I wasn’t sure about and something would never be the same again. Or maybe “normal” wasn’t the right word. According to Lin, only one in eight people were Celestial, so I guess what I considered normal wasn’t for most people. 

The face-to face tellings of Everything I Wasn’t Supposed to be Telling didn’t go well. Actually, it was fine for the first few days, but things went down hill after that. We were sitting on the plush magenta couch of ___’s living room. Correction: ___ was sitting on the plush magenta couch of his living room. I was standing. Surrounding us was more comfy furniture, comfy furniture that I’d had to stare at for, what was it? A year now?-- every day.

“Come on, tell me more.” he said. “There are a few questions that I’ve started wondering.” Oh, good job, you've started wondering, I thought. For some reason I was particularly grumpy that day. “Like, how come there are Celestials even though we don’t have children?” I raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t wondered that before? I sighed. If I didn’t tell him he would probably use force. This conversation would be an awkward one, and it would bring up bad memories for me.

“Well,” I began. “When a Minor baby is born, there is . . . an event, I guess you could say. This event is called The Rolling of the Dice.” I didn’t want to explain further, didn’t want the memories to rise, but I supposed that I didn’t have a choice. I continued cautiously. “A die-- an eight-sided-- one is rolled, and, well . . . .” My voice trailed off, and the memories began to rise, filling me with anger. 

“Well, what?” ___ asked. I hated him. Hated his stupid questions, hated all the Celestials, how he seemed to be fine with all of this, hated the Authorities, the ones that the Minors speculated nd wondered about but didn’t really know about. My voice became very quiet.

“If a one is rolled, the baby gets taken . . . taken to be a Celestial.”

“What did you say?” said ___, not hearing me. 

“If a one is rolled, the baby gets taken to become a Celestial.” I said, this time not hearing. ___’s eyes widened. 

“Does that mean-- doesn’t the mean were all the same?” He asked, shocked.

“Of course were not the same!” I snapped. “You, being taken off to become a spoiled brat, me slaving away for you! Were not the same!” The anger boiled inside me, churning with the rage that I had tried to tamper for years now. I could hardly see I was so enraged, but I could just imagine his stupid face pretending to be hurt. Then I did something impulsive. I know it was rash. I know I shouldn’t have. I know I will probably die because of it, but I had this urge, this temptation to. I stepped up to him and slapped him across the face.

His face, already wide-eyed, turned read with anger as my hand made a faint mark on his cheek. He jumped back.

“Ouch!” He shouted. It felt good, but it wasn’t enough, not enough to compensate for the hunger and labor that I had suffered. At the same time, it was much too much. ___ pressed the button-- the same one that I had been dreading-- on his watch. “Authorities!”

That’s all that I heard because at that moment, I ran.

My eyes widened. 

“Authorities!” I shouted pressing the button on my watch. My cheek still stung from when she had hit it. “Authorities, theres--” I hesitated. On the first day that we had met, Lin warned me that we would both die. “Theres a strange girl in my house who just slapped me! Help, she’s running!”

Already, I regretted telling. I bolted-- out of fear, out of anger, out of the need to find the strange girl who had been risking her life to tell me things . . . because I forced her. A new emotion hit me, like a punch in the stomach, like Lin slapping me-- but worse. As I ran, I tried to find the right word, and it took me a minute before I thought of it. Guilt. But right now, I couldn’t think of that, I had to escape.

I ran blindly, out of my house through the back, knowing that at least others wouldn’t be awake, even though I am no early riser, even for a Celestial. I ran, ran for all it was worth. I wove between houses, certain that someone had spotted me and was about to arrest me. Suddenly, as I was weaving behind someone else's house,

Word war

Someone grabbed my arm. I was spun around, trying to see what was happening. WHoever it was tackled me to the ground and injected something into my arm. I tried to fight back but then there was a sharp sting and thing began to blur-- my vision, the world, my thoughts . . . . What was happening?

I couldn’t go back into the tunnels, that wasn’t an option. ___ was calling the Authorities and, due to their punctuality, it would probably be only a minute before they started looking for me. Seeing no other option I ran out the front of the house, drying between mansions and hoping no one would spot me. I needed somewhere to hide, and quick, bjut not here. I knew the geography og the Comunity-- all Minors had to larn it in school-- but I had no idea which direction I was facing. I looked bck at the house that I had ran from and made a guess to where the edge of the Community was. All this happened in a split second. 

I turned left, darting between patched of foliage, sprinting for my life, fear making me imagine the footprints thumping at my heels and the breath on my neck, making 6he bright day seem a lot dimmer. I ran as fast as I could, ran, hoping that this was a bad dream and I wasn’t about to e arrested, ran-- and a hand grabbed my wrist. Whoever it belonged to attempted to tackle me but I was quick. With a burst of adrenaline I kicked, shoving the person over.

“Hey” said a gruff, masculine voice. “I’m trying to help.” Yah, right I thought. I backed up-- the person had cornered me-- and gazed upon a large man who was mostly in shadow. My mind didn’t have time to process any of the details,, but then I noticed something-- no, someone-- slumped on his shoulder unconscious. It was ___.

I tried to run, kicking at the man, still trying to be quiet but resisting the urge to scream. Eventually I managed it and slipped away, running. After a few minutes I had to stop to catch my breath. I found a cluster of well-manicured trees in a Celestial’s garden, then realized that a Gardener was probably about to report me. Gardeners work dy and night shifts. I darted past the gardens. Everywhere here was sunny and bright, to easy to spot, watched always. No Celestials were out and about not-- of course not, they always woke up late-- but that didn’t mean I was safe from them seeing me. I continued running, my legs growing tireder and tireder, they became exhausted but I was forced to keep going even though they were throbbing, i have no idea how long I ran, just that I was completely drained from running for so long by the time I reached the end. I was running, my tiredness slowing me down, my willingness attempting to push me forwards, but the tiredness was 

WOrd crawl:

Winning. I pushed forward, not sure whether the thudding right behind me was my imagination or real. Then, there it was-- the edge of the community. The houses had been paced further apart for a few minutes but now I could see the border, ot at least what I guessed was the border. WIth an extra burst of strength I sprinted past it and another 50 yards, Then had to stop, panting. I surveyed my surroundings. Why did it have to be so open here? Why couldn’t there be more foliage, not just hill after rolling hill? I shrugged that off. I had to keep 

Word sprint/war (got 295, just had to continue sentence afterwards):

Going, had to keep moving . . . but I knew that wasn’t possible, having already gone so far for so long. Peter might have arrived by now . . . oh well. There was no turning back anyway. I was running away.

CHapter: ___

I sat up groggily-- no, I didn’t sit up, I was already sitting up . . . somewhere. That was creepy. I had no idea where I was. Okay. I opened my eyes. I was in n unfamiliar . . . room? Is that what it was? I had no idea. I surveyed my surroundings. The walls were mostly whit and grey, almost striped but not exactly. There were round windows to the front, left and right, and I saw that we weren’t in a room-- no, we appeared to be flying as outside saw the Community below me and the clouds closer than usual. Was that why there was that strange feeling in my head, or had the drugs still not worn off? I had never flown before-- I hadn’t even realized that it was possible! The room was small and cramped and to my left there was a big man with  scraggly beard. His arms rippled with muscle. He appeared to be doing something, with . . . something. A ring shaped object hat could turn when he made it, planted on a slanted surface. He seemed to be using it to control something. 

“No, she can’t have . . .” he muttered. 

“Can’t have what?” I tried to say, but my throat was sore and dry and it came out wrong.

Suddenly, I remembered where I was, why I was here. The Authorities were trying to capture and probably kill me-- me and that other girl, Lin. It looked like they already had-- for me at least. Had the “she” been the one he was 

More writing (496)

Referring to? Had she somehow escaped? Why else would he be saying that? Or was she captured? And it was my fault. The man passed me some water. What if it’s poisoned? A voice in the back of my mind, maybe Lin’s worried. Were going to die anyway, aren’t we? I thought back, even though she wasn’t actually there. I

 took a gulp of water and waited. Nothing happened. Huh. Maybe it was just water after all. Still thirsty, I took another gulp.

“Can’t have what?” I tried again, this time my throat clearer.

“Escaped.” So my suspicions had been right, she had in fact escaped. “We’ve gotta get her,” the man said. I turned to him, now braver then when I hd first met Lin.

“Your one of the Authorities, aren’t you?” I asked accusingly. He closed his eyes for a few seconds as if this was a difficult question to answer.

“Yes, well-- I was, or-- no, I wasn’t but . . . I was supposed to be.” He said that last part more like a question than a statement. 

“Are you going to kill me?” Nothing like getting straight to the point.

“No. As long as you participate, that is.”

“Very funny”

“I’m not joking! We can’t have any trouble makers.” I shugged.

“Whatever” I said. “Where are we going now?”

“You have a lot of questions.”

“Just answer it!” I said, frustrated. 

“We’re getting your friend.”

“Whose we! And why are you getting Lin?” I realized, suddenly, that I actually cared about her.

“That’s classified information.” He grumbled. I sat there moodily for a minute.

“How long was I knocked-”

“No more questions. And about 20 minutes.”

“I didn’t even forget to finish!” I complained. The man turned to me, a pained smile on his face.

“You know, I used to be lot like you,” he said. We sat in silence for another minute, me wondering how soon I was going to die, him operating that-- whatever it was. Was it like the automobiles that the Celestials went in to get from place to place? Now I realized that those also were probably Minor-operated. This thing didn’t look like those, though, and was much less comfortable with the hard metal chairs and small space. It could fly, too. I had the urging desire to ask what it was, but I refrained, keeping my mouth shut. 

He suddenly yanked on a lever and twisted the steer device-- that’s what I had started calling it in my mind-- and the flying, less comfortable automobile dived down, and took a turn, and we were spiralling towards the Community-- no, not the community, we had just past it into the empty space beyond that I had never before paused to wonder about. I spotted a speck underneath us. Was that . . . a person? Was it her? The speck ran, but it was too slow. I wanted to shout encouragement for her, but I couldn’t and part of me kind of wanted her back. 

Three digit challenge (7869)

The flying automobile dived towards her, attempting to close her in against nothingness.

Chapter ???: Lin

The helicopter-- we had learned what those are in school-- dived towards me and I scrambled back, but it was fast. It landed about ten feet away from me and I had to flinch at the noise. I started  trying to run again but by now my legs were useless. The big man who had cornered me earlier easily caught up to me. I kicked him hard, but he didn’t budge he grabbed me, and injected something into my arm with  syringe. Vaxxine . . . no . . . That’s not it . . . I thought as my thoughts fogged up. My eyes began to close and the last thing I saw was the ceiling of the helicopter before my vision went dark.


When I woke up I was no longer in the hospital. I tried to rise but bumped my head on the ceiling. It didn’t take me long to remember; falling through the ceiling, ___ forcing me to come back over and over again, him calling the authorities, me running. It all came back in a rush. I’m about to die. I thought. That’s not good. I was probably still groggy from whatever drugs the man had given me. I heard footsteps, and two figures came into view. One of them was the strange mn and the other was a slim women that looked about the same age as the man, maybe 40, with dark hair with  few gray streaks tied in a ponytail and soft features. Where they a couple, perhaps?

“She took longer to wake up.” said the man.

“That’s to be expected,” said the woman firmly. “She is a couple years younger, after all, so the ___ was bound to take more time to where off for her.”

“Are you going to kill me?” I asked. The man laughed.

“You know, your friend--”

“--He’s not my friend!” I snapped. He shrugged.

“The boy, whatever, said a very similar thing. The answer is no, as long as you don’t make any trouble.”

“Your not the Authorities, are you?” I guessed, hoping that my suspicions were true.

“No, we’re not,” said the women. “I am Tanya and this is ____. Welcome to the rebellion.”

As it turns out, the people who captured Lin and I were not the Authorities. It was explained to us that two people--  there names were Tanya and ____ had started a rebellion. They hadden’t given much explanation, just told us that we were expected to join the to change the world. They explained to bothe of us that the Authorities-- people that I had known somewhere in the back of my mind that they actually existed, but had never given much thought-- were actually to families; one who ruled Celestials, like me, or at least like who I used to be, and one for the Minors. They were nice, I guess-- they lived in a secret house _________________ (Haven’t decided location), so that they didn’t get arrested. They fed us and the house was . . . Okay. Not great. Not what I was used to. But Lin seemed to love it, finding it much better than her old underground home.

That first night at dinner (the table did not appear from the floor laden with food which I was used to, apparently there is complex cooking behind it) I asked

“So, what family are yo two in, or are you someone else? Who are you?” The two looked at eachother. From what I had deduced, Tanya seemed to be the leader, but ____ seemed to be okay with that. 

“Well, you see . . .” ____ started, but Tanya interrupted him.

“The Celestial and Minor families don’t see eachother much.” She began cautiously. “They do see eachother, though, and it’s not even that rare. But they don’t live together, they don’t marry, they don’t mix-- and they certain=ly don’t have kids.”

“That;s where we come in” said ____. “Our parents, they . . . fell in love. And then they had us, as twins.”

“This wasn’t known, of course” Tanya continued, taking a sip of water. “They fell in love and ran away-- the first to ever do so, at least that we know of. If the top of the Authority knew, they would have killed them. And that’s what everyone thought happened-- and it did, actually, but after people were told that that happened. But they didn’t know about us.” Ah, s they were twins. I felt sorry for them, ut, being raised a Celestial-- I guess I unfortunately couldn’t really call myself one anymore-- I didn't really understand the whole parent-child concept. Lin had been quiet for a while. But now she grimaced.

“Losing a family member? I know how that must feel.” Tanya raised an eyebrow. 

“And why is that? Has it ever happened to you?” Lin looked down.

“Sort of. And . . . not like you but . . .” Suddenly, things clicked together. WHy, Lin had been so quiet and then lost her temper when she told me about The Ceremony of the Dice, wh she was so quiet now . . . .

Yah know what? I gotta figure out the plot from here.

  • Start settling in and realize there roles are to change the world. They learns that tanya and ____ are illegal children.
    The Authorities come and they have to move location
    Posters are hung up at night but are taken down by morning

“You have a sibling who was taken to be a Celestial, don’t you.” I asked. It may have come across as a bit o accosotory, but I meant to just be stating it.

“Yes” Lin said in an almost inaudible voice. “Yes I do.” There was an awkward silence for a moment in which no one spoke. Then Lin said, “It’s different, but I get it.” DInner was pretty normal after that. 

Chapter ???: lin

So I’m not dead. I guess that’s good. The crazy events of the day have been way too much for me to quite process-- or how much my life has changed. I guessed there was justno going back. My life had changed because Of my impulsiveness, and falling through the ceiling. Oh, yah, it turns out Tanya and ____ had organized that, too-- us meeting. WHen I had asked why us ____ had said that he wasn’t sure, and that we

Word sprint

Were “conveniently located,” whatever that meant. We were shown the bathroom which I found quite impressive and were given seperate rooms to sleep in. That night I had a strange nightmare about my parents being taken by the Authorities, hooded figures with black masks, and me trying to bring them back but the Authorities just laughed. I woke up at sunrise like I usually do, my circadian rhythm not having adjusted to the knew schedule where i was supposed to wake up later. Still in my pajamas (apparently these people where different clothes in the night then in th day, something I don’t yet understand) and left the room, wandering the lonely hallways and wondering how this strange house, separated from the other government families and the rest of the world had come to be. Apparently ____ had woken up early too because I crossed him while wandering the halls. 

“COulsn’t sleep?” He asked although I guessed that this was partially a joke considering the time.

“WOke up early” I replied. “You?”

“Same. too much on my mind.” I nodded and we parted in silence.  I wondered the roomy halls for a bit. This house was a lot nicer then the room that I had come from;. I hadn’t really gotten to appreciate it then, and it should have been a strange adjustment for me although I was more focused on running, when I fled from ___’s house, that had been my first time going outside, my first time getting a breathe of fresh air in my lif. That must be a strange thought for someone like ___ who had been raised freely his whole life and had always been going outdoors. I wondered what it was like for Farmers or Miners who went outside for there jobs on a daily basis but never did when they were children-- what it had been like for them to go outside while they could appreciate it. I wanted to try and recreate that feeling of freedom that I hadn’t been able to focus on. Unfortunately, we weren’t aloud outdoors. A cat walked up to me, and I jumped. I hadn’t actually seen any of the species, just learned about them at school. I knew that they were domesticated and that they killed the mice at farms, although I didn’t know that they kept them indoors. The cat was large, fluffy, and mainly brown but with some stripes, mainly on it’s back. It’s eyes were yellow and it stared at me with them. It was actually . . . kind of cute with that giant tail and those large paws, but I suspected that it, being a hunter, would not be friendly. I wandered the airy halls a bit more then returned to my room. I change into day clothes-- it had been explained to me that here clothes were not washed by hand but by machines adnd that I was to change into a different pair of clothes each day, which seemed like  bit of a waste to me, but I did it. The clothes were very different the  the Minor uniform I usually wore. I surveyed myself in the mirror, the reflective device that the Celestials had and was apparently here too that coil alow me to see myself. I . . . actually hadn’t seen myself before, I suddenly realized. There were none back home and I hadn’t bothered glancing at it last night. Sure, I had wondered, but I had nerve really cared that much. Now I realized that I had looked quite different then I thought. I surveyed myself in the mirror, noticing my small nose and dark eyes, not unlike ____’s, for the first time. I guessed I looked okay. The clothes were a blue shirt-- not as long as the ones in the uniforms, but similar-- and matching blue pants. Undergarments and socks, too (of course). There were no knew pairs of shoes. I suspected that it would be difficult to get ones in just the right size. I smiled, imagining ___ being distraught over the not-sliding in dresser and the limited options of not-super-comfortable clothes. SOon Tanya arrived and told me that ____ was waking up ___, too. Although we had not known the two for long, I thought that they were almost . . . parental figures? Assuming that they weren’t lying and about to march us in to the Authorities-- or were Authorities-- which was always a possibility, but I decided not to worry about that. I suddenly realized that I hadn’t had time to say goodbye to my family, had no idea that what they thought of my disappearance. Maybe they were told that I had died in a freak electrical accident like a boy that I had once heard rumors of, while operating the house, in which case my family would be receiving three photos of me, a few days off to mourn, and be forced to have another child. I suddenly realized that I missed them, them and my little brother, __. I wasn’t quite crazy enough to miss Peter, but I suspected that with enough time I might be. I followed Tanya to the dining room and she instructed me to sit in the same chair as yesterday. After about 15 minutes, ___ followed, rubbing his eyes from waking up “so early.” He collapsed in his chair and I saw dark circles under his eyes which made me snort. 

“What?” he asked. “Do I really look that awful?”

“No, just- nevermind,” i said, resisting the urge to laugh.

“So” said Tanya. “We need to discuss your duties.” ____ went off and started making breakfast. The kitchen was very different and fancier then what I was used to-- move then just a pot and small stove and sink, it also had a counter, cabinets, and a white rectangular prism-- shaped thing taller than me. As I whatched with fascination, he opened tugged on a handle on the side of it and opened a door. It was emitting a soft, bluish light. 

25 sentences:

It appeared to be stocked with food. Tanya, whathcing my fascination with amusement, said “go on, go up to it. Stick your hand in.” I did and immediately pulled it back.

“It’s cold!” I complained, laughing. 

“It’s called a refrijurator.” Tanya explained, also laughing. “It keeps food cold so that it stays good and you can keep it for a while.

“Why would you need to do that?” I asked, then quickly realized that these people probably didn’t have Portion Dealers coming up to there door every day to deliver food and water. I wondered how they got their food. I sat back down at the table. ___ hadn’t seemed to have much interest in the large white object but then he turned around and pointed. I noticed the cat from earlier waddling up to me. 

“Have you yet met _____?” Tanya asked, now bak at the table as well. I realized that she was referring to the cat. “He’s a sweet boy- yes, aren’t you?” She continues to coo at the cat.

“Yah, I saw him.” I told her. SHe picked him up and put him on her lap and he started to make a deep rumbling sound.

“He’s purring.” said ____.


“Making a vibration in his throat to express comfort or joy. It’s something that cats do, as Tanya could tell you all about.” He rolled his eyes, crealry not completely approving of his twin sister’s obsession. Tanya began scratching _____ under his chin and he purred louder, closing his eyes. 

“What’s he for?” i asked, then realized that that was kind of rude.

“For?” Tanya asked, apparently horrified. “He’s amazing and brings joy, that’s what he’s for.

“Oh. okay. Sorry.” 

“Anyways, your duties” said Tanya, breaking the silence. ____ nodded, now heating something up in another strange device, a smaller box with glowing letters and numbers that would count down. It made a whirring sound. 

“Yes. those.” he agreed. “We need to talk about your jobs.” 

“Basically, like we told you last night, you need to change society, how thing are. Were not doing that because, well . . . were us.” She glanced at ___. “True, we admittedly didn’t spend a huge amount of time deciding which pair of Celestial and Minor we would choose, but we observed that you, ___, have the right kind of voice to get it done. People . . . listen to you and get persuaded by you.” Now she glanced at me. “ANd you, Lin. we chose you because we noticed your fiery spirit which would be useful. And we especially needed you two because you are a Celestial and a Minor, so people know yo and will listen to you. The Authorities can only control the Celestials and Minors so much.” ____ interrupted. “Shouldn’t we tell them about . . . you know . . .”

“Right” Tanya said. “I probably should have told them earlier.” ____ turned to us, no balancing some plates of food. 

Word war

“When a baby is born, t\the rolling of the dice isn’t the only thing that happens at the ceremony, as you may have witnessed, Lin” said ____.

“Yes” I agreed, nodding. They get a needle stuck in there arm and have to swallow something.” They said it’s to prevent siicknessed.”

It is” agreed ____. “Or at least the needle part. The pill is something else: a tracker.”

He waited for us to put the pieces dogether.

“So, are you saying . . .” My eyes widened.

“That the AUthorities can track us!” ___ interrupted. ____ nodded.

“That’s why we espect that they will be coming afyte you soojn” Said Tanya.

“Well, why didnt’t you tell us earlier!” Sait ___ now starting to get angry.

“For once, I actually agree with him.” I said. “You can’t take us in only to tell us importan, urgent information like this a day later!”

“I’m sorry.” Tanya apoligized, and her face suddenly looked much older.


“Sure you are” grumbled ___. 

“Anyway,” began ____, breaking the awkward silence, “That’s why we need to be on the lookout, vigilant, prepare to move if need be.”

“We expect that they will come after us soon, and we will be ready to leave when they do.” said Tanya.

“But . . . where will we go once they do?” I asked cautiously.

“We’ll go in the helicopter -- the thing that we brought you here in.” Tanya said. “Theres enough food an water stocked in there to last a few weeks and sleeping quarters, although they aren’t as comfortable as here. Where we would go? I don’t know. And the fuel in there isn’t infinite. We would be able to travel several miles, but we will run out.” We finished breakfast in silence. 

Chapter I’ve lost track- ___

After breakfast, we were brought to the meeting room, a small round room with a table and chairs at the center and two cluttered desks in the corner. I noticed tht the walls were painted yellow. On the wall was a sign with the rules that we had went over yesterday:

  • Don’t question what Tanya and ____ tell you to do. It may be for your own safety.
    DO not leave the house.

  • Do not go into one of our bedrooms without permission.

  • DO not be a traitor or reveal our existence.

  • Train hard.

  • Follow orders exactly when on missions.

Tanya and ____ sat down opposite Lin and I. Tanya had a stack of papers in front of her and was peering at us over her glasses. 

“As we have already said, the goal of you two is to raise awarenes for what is really happening and rally the Celestials and Minors -- or at least the Minors -- to fight back. Your first mission might not work but it may help to raise awareness in the Celestials. Please read these papers which will tell you the objective of your first mission. I picked up the piece of paper and read:

Mission - put up posters in community D saying that the Minors are the real reason that Celestial’s lives are perfect.

Your job: to create posters that will be convincing to the Celestials.

I read the list of rules for the posters, how to create them an how many to make. I gritted my teeth, already disliking this structured format. I read what Lin’s part was too. Apparently, she was supposed to put up the posters. ____ went to another room with Lin to tell her where exactly she should put them up and how. Tanya would help me make them.

“It’s your job to decide what exactly to write.” She told me. “The people there will know you and trust you more, and you know how to convince them.”

“It took meeting a Minor to convince me.” I said. “Theyll probably not even pause to read them.” I realized, guiltily, that this is exactly what I would have done. Tanya kept pushing me to think of things that woud catch their attention, but I couldn’t think or any. Later Lin and I saw each other again. 

“They expect me to just sneak around in the middle of the night putting up posters -- like, sure, taht’ll work and definitely not result in my getting caught!” She grumbled. 

“Yah” I agreed. “They expect me to be able to write something that will catch the Celestials attention, even though they wouldn’t be paying attention anyway.”

“Yah, those Celestials are seriously naive.” She agreed. I didn’t like how she just insulted the Celestials like that, probably because I still partially felt like one. I was still tired from getting a “normal” amount of sleep. I felt defensive of them, for some reason.

“Oh, I’m sorry that we were raised that way.” This time I was the one being sarcastic. Lin just rolled her eyes.


It was the middle of the night whenI woke up to ___ shaking me awake. It had taken me an hour to fall asleep, which wasn’t as bad as the night before when it had taken me hours and I was just starting to grow accustomed with the harder mattress. “Whaa” I groaned.

“There here,” He said, a glint of desperation in his eyes. I bolted upright. 

“WHo? The Authorities?” In the dim moonlight I saw him nod. I got out of bed, still in my pajamas and heard a bang from outside. I covered my ears, hating the loud sound. “What’s that noise?” I asked, my breath quickening from panic.

“An explosion. We’d better get out of here, it won’t be long before they bomb the house.” Another explosion accented his point. We ran outside towards the helicopter. I saw the cat, __ behind me. Behind us, I could see Tanya and Lin following. Lin was fast and had almost caught up with us. I began slowing down, panting, not used to physical exertion of any kind. Tanya was falling behind, too. I leaped inside the helicopter after ____ and Lin, pulling Tanya through. Then the explosion happened. It was much louder then before as it was closer. Lin plugged her ears and I instintiveky covered my ears with my shoulders. I saw the smoke Burst out in a cloud, engulfing the house, demolishing Tanya and ____’s home. Shrapnel sprayed everywhere. Fortunateky, it didn’t hit me, ot Lin, or ____. Unfortunately, it hit Tanya. She screamed in pain as I pulled her in and ____ leaned over me to close the door. 

“Tanya!” ____ yelled. He pulled his twin closer and started murmuring. “Your going to be okay. You have to be okay.” Tanya nodded.

“Umm, we need to go, like now.” said Lin. ____ nodded and climbed into the drivers seat. I climbed in next to him and strapped myself in. 

“Hoe’s her leg?” I asked.

“I don’t know.” said Lin. “It looks like she won’t be able to walk for at least, like, a week? And it might get infected. There isn’t a done of blood but I don’t know how deep the cut is. Sorry, I’m bad at this first aid stuff.”

Word war contribution:

____ nodded again, silently. By now, he had taken off and was flying the helicopter. But we weren’t done yet. Behind us was the Authorities’ plane -- three of them, in fact, each larger than ours and probably with more people. Fortunately, the helicopter was fast enough -- about as fast as the ones chasm=ing us. It also seemed to not be damaged much by the Authorities weapons, bouncing harmlessly off the back. It must have been built for defense. 

Left-handed challenge:

____ weaved and dodged our chasers, but I suspected that they were going to catch up to us. PI sighed. This really wasn’t my speed, so to s[peak. Yet again, i selfishly wished that things were back to hoe they wee, blissfully ignorant and easy without any fear ot pain or anything to, enjoying the sartuificial sunshine. Th slim, silver helicopters which I suddenly realized looked exactly like our’d, chased us, trying to block us off. I thought we were done for when tghe lead ncopter shot out a net which enhguklfed us, slowing us down, but ___ did something, shooting out a burst of flame which melted the net mad3e ofv thin strands f interwoven metal. 

“Careful!” Lin shoted, startling me from behind. “There leading us somewhere! It’s a trap!”

“How do you know?” I wondered aloud.

“Common sense.” Sh responded matter-of-factly. “Plus th way they keep blocking us whenever we try to swerve . . . leading us back the way we came, sort of.

“Oh” I said, suddenly feeling stopid. “How is she?”

“Not sure, same as she was before.” Tanya grumbled something unintelligablr. We continued in this fashion, ____ driving though the sair, desperately, weaving around, the Authorities helivcoptrers trying to capture and corner us. I closed my eyes, trying to block out the noise ogf the explosions and bullets bouncing harmlessly off the back. After half an hour of this I opened my eyes and saw something in the distance that had never crossed my sight before: Towering buildings, reaching up to the sky, closely packed together houses and vehicles that looked similar to the Celestial’s automobiles zooming around. 

*An ashen-faced, sullen looking girl who had just fallen out of the ceiling was on her hands and knees in front of me. She stood up, and I noticed a curiously shaped birthmark on her left ankle. She was wearing rags - that was the first word that came to mind  - which I noticed were some kind of uniform: a dirty brown tunic and pants, with a strip of fabric around her waist and fmore strips of fabric attached to the tunic around her neck and wrists in the same off-white color.  She looked scrawny underfed - a strange concept. NOBODY was underfed. Her mouse brown hair fell in a rounded way, sweeping her face and partially covering her dark eyes which had shadows under them. She didn't look like anyone that I had seen before, which unnerved me. 


submitted by Feline Fantasy
(July 28, 2020 - 1:29 pm)

Yah, this is long, really bad, and not edited for human eyes, sorry. The main character whos name I haven't decided might be named Finnigan. Also, chapters 2 and 3 are one chapter. It looks a lot shorter when its all typed out here to me for some reason, even though its almost 40 book pages.

submitted by Feline Fantasy
(July 28, 2020 - 7:50 pm)
submitted by TOP
(July 28, 2020 - 9:41 pm)

"Not edited for human eyes"


But... you wrote it, and you looked at it....

Wait... that means....


submitted by aqua
(July 29, 2020 - 3:23 pm)

Wait, what?

correction: not edited for eyes except for my own. 

submitted by Feline Fantasy
(July 29, 2020 - 4:18 pm)

Well, the story WILL be great, but probably edit the book for human eyes. (And dragon eyes.) (Not like dragons will read the book.) (25 Dragons is just a Post Name, which is NOW an official term.)

Also I am thinking of making a screenplay of this book (because I admit that I'm more of a screenwriter) (Although I like to read. For a screenwriter, reading lots of books is important) can I have permission?

(Admittedly, I've only read the draft of the beginning, but it was great)

I'll keep you updated,


submitted by 25 Dragons, age Unknown, here
(July 31, 2020 - 2:09 pm)

A screenplay? that would be -- whoa. Yah, I was toon lazy to edit it, sorry, although I do have an edited version of the first 4 chapters (or 5 here but its 4).

I'm not sure if I should give you permission. After all, if you share it I won't know if you give credit and anyways all you would be able to say for credit is "a random person on the internet." I also don't love adaptions so I would have to be involved a lot to make sure it's accurate, so sorry. We can discuss it though and come up with an idea -- sorry, I'm just not yet entirely comfortable with that but we might be able to do something?

submitted by Feline Fantasy
(August 1, 2020 - 4:46 am)

I understand that completely!

I can still help with the story, right?

TFLMK (thanks for letting me know), Michael.

BTW, I'm still going to keep you updated. 

submitted by 25 Dragons, age unknown, Here
(August 1, 2020 - 6:25 pm)

Keep me updated on what? Sorry, I kind of want to do this alone, I just posted it here to share what I have with y'all.

submitted by Feline Fantasy
(August 2, 2020 - 1:14 pm)


Guess this situation was not what I thought.

I want to tell you about a cover idea. Is that OK? 

submitted by 25 Dragons, age unknown, here
(August 3, 2020 - 4:21 pm)

. . . I don't know what you mean. You can always give ideas. I like art, so I'm probably going to make my own cover but you can give ideas for anything. I'm not even thinking about that yet xD but okay.

submitted by Feline Fantasy
(August 4, 2020 - 4:13 pm)

Okay, basicly what I've been saying: this is my own thing, not a collab and I don't wnat it to be made into a screenwrite, okay? sorry if I'm coming across as harsh, I'm not trying to.

submitted by Feline Fantasy
(August 5, 2020 - 3:11 pm)

Heyyyyy! FF, this is awesome! Finnigan works. What I suggest is just using a name, and then you can always change it later, but it's a little less confusing that way :) so like you could put Finnigan in, but you can always change it. But yeah! Great writing, I wanna hear more!

submitted by Luminescence, age XI, California
(July 29, 2020 - 4:17 pm)

Okay, thanks! thats all I have right now, but I will try to post updates. They might not be super frequent as I keep getting writers block because, las, I forget whether I said or not, beginning come a lot more easily for me than middles, plus I did a lot of writing in two and a half weeks so I kind of want to take a break and develop the plot a bit more.

submitted by Feline Fantasy
(July 29, 2020 - 6:41 pm)