Story start!!

Chatterbox: Inkwell

Story start!!

Story start!!

So I have this story i'm writing, what do you think?

~

 

Your long, blue-gold, wavy hair blows across your face as you pull water from the lake and form a bubble. You’re getting better at this, you know. You’ve gained more control, and can weave larger amounts of water now. When you go back to school tomorrow, you hope Master Andin will be impressed.

You weave the ball into a tiny hedgehog shape, and cool it quickly so it freezes. You’ll bring this back to your little sister, Sira, for her to play with.

You stand, stretch, and slip your satchel over your shoulder. Walking down the path towards your house, you see your friend, Frederick. You wave wildly, and he runs up to you.

“Hey, Kaya!”He says, panting. “What do you have today?”

You hold out the little ice creature you made. “This.” He admires it. “I’m taking it home for Sira.”

“Fun!” He says. “Are you sure you don’t want to show Master Andin?”

You nod. “Yeah. I’ve got something even better for him!” You dig in your satchel, and pull out a pair of pointe shoes, intricately carved from ice. 

Frederick gasps. “Wow! That’s beautiful!”

“Thanks!” You say. “What have you been working on?”

He grins.  “Watch.”

You do, quickly putting the ballet shoes into your bag so they don’t melt, and he holds out his hand, weaving a flame above it. It’s green in color. “It doesn’t burn!”He says, proud. “Touch it, you’ll see.”

You tentatively pass your hand through the flame, slowly. “Wow! That’s awesome, Frederick”

He glows. “Thanks! It took me all weekend to learn that.”

Your indigo watch vibrates quietly, and you look at it. “I have to go, sorry,” you say. “My mom is buzzing me.”

“Oh, that’s fine. I should probably get going too.” Frederick says.

“Bye!”

“See you tomorrow!” He calls as you turn and run, and you wave over your shoulder.

 

At school the next day, you greet your friends, and make your way to the Weaving Practice room. When you get there you take your place at the Water Weaving table. When the rest of the Water Weavers arrive,  Master Andin makes a few short announcements, then asks if anyone has their practice to show. Your bronze hand shoots up immediately and Master Andin calls on you, a faint smile on his face. “Kaya,” He says, and you timidly get up, taking the elegant shoes out of your satchel. The weavers gasp slightly, and whispers circulate around the room.

“Beautiful, Miss Glenn,” Master Andin praises you, and your face warms. “Look at the detail…Wonderful, thank you. You may return to your seat.”

You sit and can feel eyes on you as you do. You are proud of yourself, but also a little embarrassed. Do your classmates think you a show-off? The lesson takes your mind off it, and you learn to pull molecules of water out of the air and weave with them. You learn it quickly, and are having fun when the session is over. You smile at Frederick on the Flame Weaving side of the room as you leave for your next class.

~

I'ts a work in progress... 

submitted by AvaraStar, age Elven, Rohan
(July 2, 2024 - 4:22 pm)

I like the point of view you used! (it feels up close but far away at the same time) I really enjoy this style of magic system :)

 

submitted by Lyric, age :D, Jellyfish
(July 3, 2024 - 2:07 pm)

Thank you! :)

submitted by AvaraStar
(July 5, 2024 - 7:40 pm)
submitted by top
(July 4, 2024 - 5:32 pm)

Ooh, this is really cool! I love reading stories in second person :DD Would you be open to feedback?

submitted by WildWolf
(July 6, 2024 - 10:38 pm)

of course!

submitted by AvaraStar
(July 8, 2024 - 1:11 pm)