So, here's this

Chatterbox: Pudding's Place

So, here's this

So, here's this silly little poem I came up with while shopping for batteries at IKEA. Best spoken in a robot voice.

Take a risk



Don't have antifreeze.

So if it's cold

And your batteries are old

ALKALISK might explode

And your face will corrode

So yeah.

submitted by Sum Dum Gai , age Did anyone, read Adventure! ?
(October 8, 2014 - 7:15 pm)

I need to work on the rhythm. And "So yeah"  is not actually part of the poem. It might look like it, but it's not. Maybe I should have put the poem part in italics or something.

Also,  I forgot to put a comma after "old". I'm trying to decide whether to put a comma after "cold" as well. I guess it just depends on whether I want "And your batteries are old" to be sort of an aside comment, separate from the rest of the sentence. And I forgot to put a period after the last word. Oops.

Comments, anyone? 

submitted by TOP, Sum Dum Gai
(October 12, 2014 - 3:10 pm)