Regular poetry thread

Chatterbox: Pudding's Place

Regular poetry thread

Regular poetry thread (because I'm tired of not editing my poems)

This is exactly what it sounds like! A thread to post poetry. I'm excited to read all of your work!

submitted by Bluebird
(April 30, 2017 - 8:51 pm)

Thank you! :)

submitted by Bluebird
(July 2, 2017 - 7:20 pm)

I just found out that I like writing on the computer; it's nice to change things up in a while.

And finally, I have a poem!

Untitled

 

We're sitting on the edge of the sea

The cliffs beneath us, the

Sky above us

And the water spread out right there before us--do you see it, darling? All the

Beauty

Just for us today, just for

Us

Only you know how much I love the ocean

With the salty smell and the

Waves as they lap against the

Sharply pointed rocks

It's all for us

All the beautiful sparkling water stretching for who-knows-how far

We're sitting on the edge of the sea

The sun is setting, it's setting now

An orb of blinding brightness sinking toward the water-lined horizon

Where the sky touches its fingertips to the ocean's

And it's flooding the sky with

Colors

Crimson red streaked with primrose yellow

Coral pink

It's a never-ending paint box of colors

Just for us

The water's calm, just small

Ripples

Running across the surface

We're sitting on the edge of the sea

The dark is advancing

The sea is turning dark inky blue

It's beautiful

And it's just for us

Just for us, darling,

Just for us

 

submitted by Leafpool, age Eternal, Hidden in the forest
(July 2, 2017 - 12:40 pm)

Leafpool, this is beautiful!! You are improving with every poem you write, it's awesome! I love all of the colors in this, it's great imagery!

submitted by Bluebird
(July 2, 2017 - 7:23 pm)

Oh Leafpool, this is beautiful! I especially love the repetition at the end!

submitted by September
(July 2, 2017 - 7:28 pm)

Finally out of my poetry slum as well! Here's one I wrote for NaNo: 

green envy

i. perception is in the eye of the beholder

ii. oh so difficult because we can't see  

the same shade of green

iii. because it's shamrock for you, 

but over here, it's sun-dried and water-thirsty

iv. you don't know it until you're 

there

v. how lucky you are, you say, your grass

is so green

vi. but i want to scream

vii. you're the lucky one, 

lucky, 

lucky, 

lucky shamrock green

because you can still see something better 

on the other side

 

submitted by September
(July 2, 2017 - 1:47 pm)

Oooh, this is really pretty and thought-provoking! I definitely want to read your NaNo project when it's finished. My favorite line is /because it's shamrock for you/ but over here, it's sun-dried and water-thirsty/

submitted by Bluebird
(July 2, 2017 - 7:26 pm)

Thank you! I'm thinking about posting some of my NaNo prose pieces here!

submitted by September
(July 3, 2017 - 2:53 pm)

Wow, September, this is amazing! I love how it ends, so thought provoking! I love how your poems always tell a story. I admire your skill.

submitted by Booksy Owly
(July 6, 2017 - 12:11 pm)

Thank you Booksy! You're an amazing poet as well! 

submitted by September
(July 8, 2017 - 3:16 pm)

So this poem-ish thing is based off a website that generates three words for you as inspiration. I got the words tree, lemon, and mercury, and thought it would make a cool poem, so here. I'm open to critique, especially a better way to end this. 

evergreens 

i. i loved those trees,

but they were lies in themselves they were always dying every day every day they were losing their needles every day

i've heard a thousand different lies from a thousand different faces, i've seen fake smiles so acidic and i guess i'm always the first to believe and my friends take advantage of that i don't know a lot of things, but i've been told and i believed

i must be the anti-thomas

all of these people walk around with bloody fingers but mine are clean

people tell me to look a certain way so i listen and believe what i'm told, i am what they say i should be and love who they say i should love

with all the liquid mercury lies dripping from their mouths and TV screens

 

 

i don't know what to

say and i don't know what to

think

 

ii. my sister once got food poisoning from a lemon wedge and when i looked around at people with their acidic smiles i realized why

when you're a kid in a society of one-sided stories all over the TV and in 12 pt. times new roman font the static liquid mercury and acid fills in all the crevices meant for stars words violets dirt water

life life hope

so let's get down on our hands and clean up the mess we didn't make

let's collect these needles from the dying dying trees and build forts like kids again let's take this mercury and heal each other let's find the truth in the initials half-carved into tree trunks and people's souls poured out on paper (trees)

come sit in the branches with me

let's love these trees again 

 

 

~~~~~
Just an fyi, my sis didn't actually get food poisoning, most of this poem is fiction. Ironic, since this poem was mostly talking about lies! If you didn't get the line about 'the anti-thomas", it's refering to doubting Thomas from The Bible.

This probably make no sense to you but I'm going to post it anyway 

submitted by Bluebird, A tree :)
(July 2, 2017 - 8:43 pm)

Whoa, loving the prose hybrid form and the prompt! I need to try this! And I absolutely love love LOVE this! The only thing I'd critique is that some of the repetition breaks the flow a bit– I didn't think you needed that last every day in stanza two :)

submitted by September
(July 3, 2017 - 2:52 pm)

Thank you for the compliment and critique! :)

submitted by Bluebird
(July 4, 2017 - 4:31 pm)

Aaaaaaah! Teach. Me. How. To. Metaphors. Seriously Bluebird, all of your poetry is so beautiful I just can't. I especially like the line "my sister once got food poisoning from a lemon wedge and when i looked around at people with their acidic smiles i realized why." It's beautifully symbolic and painful. I really wish I had your skill!

As for an ending, the only thing I can think of is to perhaps refer back to lemons and mercury as well? I don't know. It's really good as it is!

submitted by Booksy Owly
(July 6, 2017 - 12:09 pm)

I like writing poems about my friends.  It's weird.  But here's one:

Time Passes

I met you
In the first grade

We'd have running contests
Over a five-foot-long
Track

And I cheated.

We played a game called
The lab
Where we pretended
To be superheroes

Living off of technology
That could never exist

I stopped
Hanging out with you
In the third grade
When I met friends
I thought were trustworthy

After a year and a half
I learned
That wasn't the case

They stole my pencils
And lied to me
They were bad kids
So after fourth grade
I ran back to you again

Fifth grade was
By far
The best year

Best teacher,
Best subjects,
Best friends.

We sat next to each other
And you watched me draw
And I watched you write

Near the end of the year
When I couldn't see
I asked you
What was on the whiteboard

I got glasses a month
After that

Then came sixth grade
I was in compressed math
With your crush
And my worst enemy

You wanted me to ask him
If he really cared
I never did
Because you never said you were serious

We had a special spot
On the playground
But it was a turf war
Between us and another girl

Sometimes I hit people
On accident, of course
And they'd yell at me
And you'd always defend me
Even when I said
"It wasn't worth it" 

During the last months of school
At MB
You didn't write
And you didn't think of stories
Off the top of your head
Like you used to

Instead
You just let me do it
And listened.

One summer later,
We're at SMS
And we're carpooling

One day,
I told you you were ignoring me
Which was true
I would never lie to you
But you didn't believe me
And said I was just crazy,
"As usual."

And I thought,
You were like that once, too
But all you want to talk about now
Is "normal things,"
Unlike the crazy characters we thought of
When we were little.

So I met my other friends
Who were otakus
And writers
And doodlers
Like I am

And we split
Right down the middle

Periods shared: 2
Teachers shared: 4
Out of 7

And you told me
About your new crush
But you wouldn't tell me
Who he was

And when I wanted to tell you
About those girls in PE,
You said,
"I don't want to hear your problems,"

And that made me wish
We were those little kids
Playing superheroes
With futuristic technology.

~~~~~~~~

I kind of got carried away when I wrote it.  I just poured all my feelings out.  I hope it's good...

submitted by Lucy B., age 13, California
(July 4, 2017 - 12:45 am)

Lucy that is amazing! The amount of emotion and how the time passes. It seems to represent an aspect of change, in a way. The fact that people change with time, and you just have to learn to adjust to it.

submitted by Epic Fangirl
(July 5, 2017 - 11:58 am)