Character Developement He

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Character Developement He

Character Developement Help?

So you probably don't remember me, but I came on a while ago for a short period of time, really enjoyed the community, wrote a ski lodge, and... kinda left.  Sorry.

Anyway, I was wondering if you could help with some characters that I'm working on.  They don't fall into any story I plan to write, I just like making characters.  These current ones just feel SUPER flat for the most part, though.  

The backstory and location aren't fleshed out yet, and I'm just going to let the background and location develop with the characters as opposed to the other way around.  Also, it's super cliche right now, but the premise is more for the character building anyway. If you have any suggestions on how to distinguish it a little bit.  So anyway, the basic premise is this: These 11 superpowered girls were one after another rejected from society, finally ending up at a central location or house at age eight (with two exceptions on the age).  The universe is Earth, but either future (dystopia, anyone?) or past.  For clarity, when describing their general home country areas I will use current terms.

The power for the special abilities is a new sort of energy (I'll call it magustria for.. no real reason, honestly).  Everything and every person has an aura of this, and for some currently undecided reason it's extra strong with these special twelve (cue dramatic orchestra).  If a "regular" person is around enough people with extra strong auras, for that time 

Anywaayyyy, here they are:

Heather, 14, British: Heather doesn't have any powers besides a pair of big angel wings.  She comes from a small village where she was revered as an angel.  This facade fell apart when she was thirteen and someone spotted her being awful to a small child and put two and two together.  Unbeknownst to Heather, her exile was a long time coming because people were sick of her attitude anyhow.  She's bascially a"classic mean girl", but the people surrounding her are older and more mature and so it leads to (what I'd like to believe is, anyway) a more unique conflict than with the classic people of her stereotype.  Heather is also super into clothes and cosmetics, which there are a noticeably few of in her current location making her pretty sour at times.

Iris, 15, Polynesian (any suggestions on a specific island?): Iris's power is illusions that work only in the dark and in artificial light.  Iris's current main character point is that  she is fiercly protective of her little sister, Prism.  She is generally friendly and sees the best in everyone, which is in contrast to the absolute beast she becomes when someone tries to harm Prism.  She doesn't have much else for me at this point.  Iris and Prism probably stowed away on a ship to get to wherever the main location is.

Prism, 7, Polynesian: Prism's power is illusions that work only in the light and in artificial light. Prism has a cookie-cutter little kid personality, which is actually a basline I do want, but I don't really want it left a that either.  She is happy and naive, which I would also like to keep in some form because it provides contrast to the other characters' views due to the sociatal isolation.

Whisper, 16, and I haven't decided where she should come from yet: Whisper's ability is the ability to"talk" in anyone's head, which is great for  in-battle communication if the group ever comes to it.  She also has to have some sort of dark backstory that leads to a barely nonexistent moral compass and heavy emotions that she's never learned to handle.  The reason she's never had to handle her emotions is because she has a secret power: she can swap emotions with anyone.  When it all becomes to much Whisper secretly swaps emotions with Prism, revelling in the happieness while Prism is suddenly overcome with uncomprehendable sadness.  Iris finds out about this eventually and is seriously furious.

Honey, 17, Irish: Honey's magic is that everyone instantly likes her, basically a superpoweredd charisma.  She'd probably be the only one who's circumstances didn't actually force her to leave her home.  I don't have any character traits for her yet.

Zindzhi, 18, South African: Zindzhi is the instant master of any weapon that she lays her hands on (by the way, any suggestions on home to damper this power so it isn't OP?).  I kind of picture her as the classi stoic warrior typ, but that seems a bit to cliche to me.  I don't want her to be silly, but I'm drawing a blank on a good set of traits for her.

Miku, 19, Japanese: Miku can turn back time ten seconds every ten minutes.  I haven't given her a character much yet, but she could probably be frusturtated by the limitations of her power, scared of misusing it, or some other feelings I haven't considered.

Dove, 20, Swedish:  Dove can communicate with birds.  She's the least develloped character, and I could easily replace her with someone else withou... really... missing her.  Sorry Dove.  Any tips?

Blaire, 21, Nicaraguan: Blaire has fire power.  Boom.  She has a brilliant mind, but fails completely to understand even the simplest of social cues and subtelties.  She's never had anyone help her through this because they were all scared of her powers and she didn't really catch the drift that she should stop using them.

Harper, 22, Indian: Harper has a little bit of electricity in her magustria aura, which basically sends her into constant overdrive.  She never has to sleep, and if she stays still for too long she starts to spark because of an energy build up.  She's never tried staying still for any longer than spark-limit, becuase it could be potentially... fatal.  I haven't actually  given her much of a personality, but it would definitely have to be influenced by her power.

Lastly I have two as-of-yet nameless twins. One has the power to grow plants at will (within reason, and the other to manipulate rocks (also within reason).  I want their names to reflect this, but none have them have stuck.  They have a classic sbling relationship, but when they were more on their own there was a lot less sibling rivalry than there normally is.  They have a kind of competition where each one feels like the other has done more for them than they could ever really repay.  Also, the plant girl thinks Heather is cute, while the rock one thinks she's just a brat.  

SO anyway, as you can see, they have varying degrees of developement.  If you have any ideas about traits, hobbies, flaws, backstories, and pretty much anything about these people I would be super grateful to hear them.  Also, any name/name swap ideas (especially for Whisper and the twins) would be nice too.

By the way, you don't have to read this whole thing.  I know it's long, but if anything catches your eye I'd still appreciate any suggestions. 

Thank you in advance!

submitted by Marigold, The State of Mind
(September 5, 2018 - 11:48 pm)

Usually, if there’s a plot, you need to cut down the amount of characters so you can focus more on them. (Trust me with this- I used to have about 13 characters in my story Lost and Found, but they weren’t very developed, and now I’ve cut down to 7 and a few background characters and they feel very personal to me.) 

I love character development, though my favorite part of writing is interactions between characters. I usually start by drawing and then come up with a personality based on what’s coming across in the drawing and a backstory I get from a folder (digital) of a bunch of possible backstories. Someone’s background is really what shapes who they are. If you don’t mind, I’m going to copy and paste what you’ve written and add my edits in bold italics.

Heather, 14, British: Heather doesn't have any powers besides a pair of big angel wings.  She comes from a small village where she was revered as an angel.  This facade fell apart when she was thirteen and someone spotted her being awful to a small child and put two and two together.  Unbeknownst to Heather, her exile was a long time coming because people were sick of her attitude anyhow.  She's bascially a"classic mean girl", but the people surrounding her are older and more mature and so it leads to (what I'd like to believe is, anyway) a more unique conflict than with the classic people of her stereotype.  Heather is also super into clothes and cosmetics, which there are a noticeably few of in her current location making her pretty sour at times. Cool backstory. If you want her to be more sympathetic, try giving her a deep fear or some hurt in her life. I’m imagining her as a villain-type character. The others might use her fear against her, which you could do from her perspective to get the readers more ambiguous about her. Also, she absolutely cannot be white, blonde, and have long hair in a ponytail. Just no.

Iris, 15, Polynesian (any suggestions on a specific island?): Iris's power is illusions that work only in the dark and in artificial light.  Iris's current main character point is that  she is fiercly protective of her little sister, Prism.  She is generally friendly and sees the best in everyone, which is in contrast to the absolute beast she becomes when someone tries to harm Prism.  She doesn't have much else for me at this point.  Iris and Prism probably stowed away on a ship to get to wherever the main location is. I love siblings! I’m actually mentally aging her down in my head a bit, (and Prism up) for them to be closer in age. I feel that they have a reason to escape that’s more than just society, maybe abusive parents. That would make her more nervously protective. Her main character point for me in my head is a desire to escape.

Prism, 7, Polynesian: Prism's power is illusions that work only in the light and in artificial light. Prism has a cookie-cutter little kid personality, which is actually a basline I do want, but I don't really want it left a that either.  She is happy and naive, which I would also like to keep in some form because it provides contrast to the other characters' views due to the sociatal isolation. I wrote a lot of stuff for Iris that also counts for Prism. I feel that Iris found a place for Prism to go, (main location)and told her that she’d come for her. Eventually, she did without too much time elapsing in between, but Prism has been shielded from the brunt of their parents or whatever you choose for the struggle. 

Whisper, 16, and I haven't decided where she should come from yet: Whisper's ability is the ability to"talk" in anyone's head, which is great for  in-battle communication if the group ever comes to it.  She also has to have some sort of dark backstory that leads to a barely nonexistent moral compass and heavy emotions that she's never learned to handle.  The reason she's never had to handle her emotions is because she has a secret power: she can swap emotions with anyone.  When it all becomes to much Whisper secretly swaps emotions with Prism, revelling in the happieness while Prism is suddenly overcome with uncomprehendable sadness.  Iris finds out about this eventually and is seriously furious. I’ve got some strong mental imaging about this character, but I can’t really describe it in words. Maybe I can draw you a picture. She’s got this stance like she’s digging into the ground with her toes, trying to stay stable. From this image, I’m thinking she’s been heavily trained for her powers, since a young kid. The powers were not prepared for this, and it probably gave her some sort of mental illness that she is unaware of and has something to do with the strong feelings and lack of moral compass.

Honey, 17, Irish: Honey's magic is that everyone instantly likes her, basically a superpoweredd charisma.  She'd probably be the only one who's circumstances didn't actually force her to leave her home.  I don't have any character traits for her yet. How about- she always thought she was just likable, and tried to be that way. She’s influenced a lot by her friends. One day, something that could block magustrium came along, and then everyone stopped liking her suddenly. Honey (maybe a different name, by the way?) was really confused and despondent. You could write this scene in a really heartbreaking way, making readers like her.

Zindzhi, 18, South African: Zindzhi is the instant master of any weapon that she lays her hands on (by the way, any suggestions on home to damper this power so it isn't OP?).  I kind of picture her as the classi stoic warrior typ, but that seems a bit to cliche to me.  I don't want her to be silly, but I'm drawing a blank on a good set of traits for her.

Again, I have a strong mental image that I can’t really explain. She’s formal, foreign, hard to describe, agh- just read Dragon Given on WattPad and look at the character Yanni Ajuni.

Miku, 19, Japanese: Miku can turn back time ten seconds every ten minutes.  I haven't given her a character much yet, but she could probably be frusturtated by the limitations of her power, scared of misusing it, or some other feelings I haven't considered. I’m thinking of her as a creative,artsy type. Probably always has a smudge of paint on her nose and a forgotten paintbrush tucked in her hair. Uses her hands to talk a lot. Doesn’t realize the full extent of her time powers, and uses them in really trivial ways ex. going back to when a gust of wind blew so her paint would dry faster.

Dove, 20, Swedish:  Dove can communicate with birds.  She's the least develloped character, and I could easily replace her with someone else withou... really... missing her.  Sorry Dove.  Any tips? TAKE HER OUT. Your cast of characters is really large already, and if there’s a character you don’t care about it’ll be a pain to write and all of them will seem shallow.

Blaire, 21, Nicaraguan: Blaire has fire power.  Boom.  She has a brilliant mind, but fails completely to understand even the simplest of social cues and subtelties.  She's never had anyone help her through this because they were all scared of her powers and she didn't really catch the drift that she should stop using them. This character seems great already! I have nothing to add!

Harper, 22, Indian: Harper has a little bit of electricity in her magustria aura, which basically sends her into constant overdrive.  She never has to sleep, and if she stays still for too long she starts to spark because of an energy build up.  She's never tried staying still for any longer than spark-limit, becuase it could be potentially... fatal.  I haven't actually  given her much of a personality, but it would definitely have to be influenced by her power. Drawing a blank on this one. Maybe- her creativity is limited by her lack of ability to dream. Give her a really creative family and make her deepest desire to be able to imagine.

Lastly I have two as-of-yet nameless twins. One has the power to grow plants at will (within reason, and the other to manipulate rocks (also within reason).  I want their names to reflect this, but none have them have stuck.  They have a classic sbling relationship, but when they were more on their own there was a lot less sibling rivalry than there normally is.  They have a kind of competition where each one feels like the other has done more for them than they could ever really repay.  Also, the plant girl thinks Heather is cute, while the rock one thinks she's just a brat.  I think if these guys were at the top, I would have more things on them. As of now- an Australian boy and girl. (The boy is the plant one and the girl is the earth one)I’ve noticed all your characters are female- you might want to change that, for diversity, but you could also have the boy feel outcast a bit from the group, maybe make it more likely for girls to have strong auras and a few characters think he’s just faking to match up to his sister. As for his sister, I don’t know. Spunky, probably. They’re both young, around ten or so, and are driven by trying to match up to the teenagers and young adults. Competitive. As for names-how about Ava and Lachlan? I feel that the themed names don’t really make sense, except for Whisper who was probably named like that on purpose, and I think you should change some of them.

submitted by Blue Moon, age 1, and if , Here
(September 6, 2018 - 6:53 pm)

Thank you for the advice!

I know there's a lot of them, which I would never do in a real story because I absolutely makes it hard for any real reader-protagonist connection. If it ever transitions to actual writing I'd probably whittle it down to between five and eight with varying degrees of prominence. It's still on the high side for a protagonist cast, but what can you do.  I'm just playing with the character combinations to see where it goes for now.

I like a lot of your ideas, especially about the last two.  I was keeping the cast female because of the dynamic I wanted, but I usually try to avoid that and I think that the situation you described is the best way to preserve the circumstances while still having more rounded cast.

Also, I would definitely not make Heather look like that. I agree that that stereotype should be avoided like a plague.

I was planning on having something besides a grand lust for adventure pushing them away from home (maybe with an exception) and I think having Iris send Prism along first works well with that.

The themed name thing was from an idea (that I might drop and then yeah, themed names down the drain) of a lot of them changing their names because the names were, in general, given to them by the same people who in one way or another pushed them away.  I of the opinion as well that some of them should be changed (especially Dove and Whisper), and I definitely invite any suggestions you might have.

Again, thanks for taking the time to give an in-depth response.

submitted by Marigold, The State of Mind
(September 6, 2018 - 9:03 pm)
submitted by Top
(September 6, 2018 - 6:53 pm)

No problem! Ugh, but now I spent so long developing them that I want to steal them all and write your story idea...

submitted by Blue Moon, age 11, Here
(September 7, 2018 - 5:45 pm)

'Kay all my comments will be like this, I apologise if this is redundant as Blue Moon has already posted, I just wanted to.  

Heather, 14, British: Heather doesn't have any powers besides a pair of big angel wings.  She comes from a small village where she was revered as an angel.  This facade fell apart when she was thirteen and someone spotted her being awful to a small child and put two and two together.  Unbeknownst to Heather, her exile was a long time coming because people were sick of her attitude anyhow.  She's bascially a"classic mean girl", but the people surrounding her are older and more mature and so it leads to (what I'd like to believe is, anyway) a more unique conflict than with the classic people of her stereotype.  Heather is also super into clothes and cosmetics, which there are a noticeably few of in her current location making her pretty sour at times. WELP, think about how literally being worshipped as an angel would affect her. Would it give her a big ego? Would she feel slighted out of her rightful place as the worshipped and so then that's why she's kind of a jerk now? Why, in fact, was she a horrible person in the first place? Perhaps she had some family neglect problems, and so that's why she feels the need to be in the center of attention, and bullies to feel dominant and in the alpha female pose? Perhaps she grates on older people because she's always trying to be the dominant leader/agressor when she's younger and less experienced than other people. What is the dynamic between her and the other characters? What kind of 'jerk' are we talking about here? Inflated ego so-I-can-do-whatever-I-want-to-you jerk, jerk who simply does not feel for others jerk, bratty jerk..... there are so many possibilities......

Iris, 15, Polynesian (any suggestions on a specific island?): Iris's power is illusions that work only in the dark and in artificial light.  Iris's current main character point is that  she is fiercly protective of her little sister, Prism.  She is generally friendly and sees the best in everyone, which is in contrast to the absolute beast she becomes when someone tries to harm Prism.  She doesn't have much else for me at this point.  Iris and Prism probably stowed away on a ship to get to wherever the main location is. Hmm.... is she just a bit too protective? Anything remotely close to harming her sister will unleash the terrors inside her? It would be a bit more interesting than just a bit protective... though it's your decision. Perhaps they used to have a younger sibling, and due to a moment of negligence or something, she was either stolen away or killed or something? It might be better for the too-protective version of her, though. Although, if her younger sister-unknown-person-who-was-stolen-away-person was used as a bargaining chip to make her do something bad, that might be an interesting point in the story. Maybe they had bad parents, so she had to be the Mom in the family? I somehow feel like I'm mixing her in my mind with another protective character in my head from another to-be-made story of mine. I she extremely logical and precise? Perhaps that would flesh out some of her character. Also, that's such a cool power. Maybe it also works in low light? Maybe they survived, orphaned on the streets, as magician's helpers? Or perhaps as pretend-magicians on the streets, using their powers to actually survive. There's lots of potential there. She seems like a hardened but friendly person to me, with responsibility that is a little too old for her.

Prism, 7, Polynesian: Prism's power is illusions that work only in the light and in artificial light. Prism has a cookie-cutter little kid personality, which is actually a basline I do want, but I don't really want it left a that either.  She is happy and naive, which I would also like to keep in some form because it provides contrast to the other characters' views due to the sociatal isolation. Is she shy? I she a lil' ball of sunshine that ha a cynical underlying theme? Is she Sunny? Perhaps she was mostly shielded by her sister from the world, so she's an optimist?

Whisper, 16, and I haven't decided where she should come from yet: Whisper's ability is the ability to"talk" in anyone's head, which is great for  in-battle communication if the group ever comes to it.  She also has to have some sort of dark backstory that leads to a barely nonexistent moral compass and heavy emotions that she's never learned to handle.  The reason she's never had to handle her emotions is because she has a secret power: she can swap emotions with anyone.  When it all becomes to much Whisper secretly swaps emotions with Prism, revelling in the happieness while Prism is suddenly overcome with uncomprehendable sadness.  Iris finds out about this eventually and is seriously furious. She could also ue her power to drive away the enemy, and to drive someone mad. She could have lived in an abusive household (Good grief, I'm giving everyone terrible parents, SORRY) and learned that if she used her powers to calm someone down, she would be rewarded. Like, not actually given a reward, but learned that if she used her power she would gain from it. Or maybe she was in a pretty good household that pushed her too far, making her use her power while ignoring her emotional and social needs, forcing her to use her powers for money or something for her family. Maybe she feels like she deserves something from the world, like she's been forced to do something he doesn't want to do every day of her life and is tired of it. Maybe she switches emotions because she feels entitled, entitled to finally feel something other than pain. I feel like she's usually a sweet kid, but sort of sphychotic.... and of course, with wild moodswings. Maybe she shouldn't always be gloomy all the time, just suffer from aforementioned violent mood swings?

Honey, 17, Irish: Honey's magic is that everyone instantly likes her, basically a superpoweredd charisma.  She'd probably be the only one whose circumstances didn't actually force her to leave her home.  I don't have any character traits for her yet. I feel like she should be slightly naive, as everyone has always been nice to her. Maybe she has trouble sympathizing with others as she's never felt real pain before, except for, and yes, Bluemoon your ideas are so great so I'm stealing this one, sorry, except for on the day her power failed. Maybe she can control it a bit, putting it up an extra level when people don't seem to like her that much. Maybe she's from a slightly neglective household and likes the attention her power gives her. I feel like she should be positive, and be a bit like a puppy when kicked if she's hurt. Not a drama queen, but does like to be the center of attention. Maybe she's a sweet kid (I'm going to use this term alot, aren't I...) but doesn't understand when people feel manipulated when they find out about her power. Maybe that's why people didn't like her when her power failed one day, not because she isn't inherently likable, (She is - I think), but because they felt manipulated, laughed at, like they were being used. Sorry if I'm sort of making a lot of assumption here....

Zindzhi, 18, South African: Zindzhi is the instant master of any weapon that she lays her hands on (by the way, any suggestions on home to damper this power so it isn't OP?).  I kind of picture her as the classi stoic warrior typ, but that seems a bit to cliche to me.  I don't want her to be silly, but I'm drawing a blank on a good set of traits for her. Maybe to balance that OPness, she doesn't like to use jer power because she feels she hasn't earned it? Maybe she was in a GREAT family, who always have a steadfast rule of earning rewards, and she feels guilty, like she's snatched an undeserved cookie when she uses her power? Maybe she has one special weapon that she only uses, maybe before her power developed (Do they develope? Or like Quirks where they sometimes develope and are sometimes born?) because she feels like she earns it? I'm thinking steadfast, strong, and uh, I'm bad at describing personalities, so.... just go on what I wrote about her if it works with your mental image? 

Miku, 19, Japanese: Miku can turn back time ten seconds every ten minutes.  I haven't given her a character much yet, but she could probably be frusturtated by the limitations of her power, scared of misusing it, or some other feelings I haven't considered. Maybe she's bored with the limitations her power has, so turns back time a lot and plays with it until it annoys everyone in the room. After all, it does kind of wipe everyone's memory of the last ten minutes..... Also, what is the extent of her power? Turns back time for everything in a ten-meter radius? Everything in the world? That's all I have to add. I' drawing a blank here, sorry.

Dove, 20, Swedish:  Dove can communicate with birds.  She's the least developed character, and I could easily replace her with someone else withou... really... missing her.  Sorry Dove.  Any tips?I guess you could get rid of her...... I like the power, though. Maybe give her power to someone else? I mean, think about how useful that would be. Better than talking to trees, though they would be able to give you a good history of the place they're standing in. 

Blaire, 21, Nicaraguan: Blaire has fire power.  Boom.  She has a brilliant mind, but fails completely to understand even the simplest of social cues and subtelties.  She's never had anyone help her through this because they were all scared of her powers and she didn't really catch the drift that she should stop using them. Oh, I looooove this so much. Maybe she had a great family that suported her a lot, and she feels unhappy and unsupported without them? Also maybe they just supported her and didn't really help her that much.... Uses math problems as an escape from everyday life and having to talk to poeple? Maybe she's uncomfortable in social situations as she feels out of her depth? Or maybe she is certain, rational, logical, and some could say coldhearted, (as logic without emotion often creates evil) but is sad that there are so many things that she doesn't understand about other people? Honestly I love the character already.... I'm not really asking for any changes.....

Harper, 22, Indian: Harper has a little bit of electricity in her magustria aura, which basically sends her into constant overdrive.  She never has to sleep, and if she stays still for too long she starts to spark because of an energy build up.  She's never tried staying still for any longer than spark-limit, becuase it could be potentially... fatal.  I haven't actually  given her much of a personality, but it would definitely have to be influenced by her power. Ooooh. Hyper? Always wanting to get moving? Perhaps she's always diving into trouble, trying to get moving, even as Blaire balances her out? They'd create the perfect duo. Maybe she doesn't care about how dangerous other people's powers are, as her threatens her life all the time. Maybe a bit lonely, perhaps? Maybe Blaire feels comfortable around her because Harper just doesn't care about how weird people are and is too busy to even give social clues. Bit of a wildcard?

Lastly I have two as-of-yet nameless twins. One has the power to grow plants at will (within reason, and the other to manipulate rocks (also within reason).  I want their names to reflect this, but none have them have stuck.  They have a classic sibling relationship, but when they were more on their own there was a lot less sibling rivalry than there normally is.  They have a kind of competition where each one feels like the other has done more for them than they could ever really repay.  Also, the plant girl thinks Heather is cute, while the rock one thinks she's just a brat. I don't really have anything to say here..... Also, do all of the girls/boys know each other before they have to leave their families?  Just 'cause if they do, sometimes fleshing out a character is easier when considering how he/she reacts to another character. Also, I'm thinking one of the twins, maybe the rock guy, is a boy, and feels uncomfortable around the others as he feels like a fifth wheel?

submitted by Chinchilla
(September 11, 2018 - 4:40 pm)