I hear gay laughter from the bottom of the stairs.
Mom, Dad, and some friends are down there.
They file out the door and close it tight.
I’m all on my own tonight.

I sit in my room, watching the clock.
I should be asleep, but you see I am not.
I hear a gag, a groan, a gasp
From downstairs and I am aghast.

Oh, what a terrible, horrible fright!
Why did they leave me alone that night!
I hid under my covers as they crept up the stairs,
Breaking the table and knocking down chairs.

I whimper and howl and shut my eyes closed.
When under my covers peeks a great furry nose.
A werewolf sitting down like a dog,
His tail is wagging and he’s perched like a frog.

Behind him, a mummy, a dead king, a witch,
Who bakes cupcakes, yum, it’s delish!
The kappa and akateko just want to play catch.
The loch ness and kelpie have a water polo match.

The chupacabra and fauns all shout hooray.
It’s an ipotane’s one-millionth birthday today.
The phantoms and ghosts actually do like light.
Monsters are friendly--I’m glad I was home tonight.