The Terrible Chef

I’m not the best of cooks, perhaps,
the hamburgers explode!
The curry is like gelatin
and tastes of broiled toad.
My hams come out like rubber and
the French fries are a mess,
I will not say what happened when
I stir-fried watercress.
My pizza burped and bubbled then
imploded on the plate!
Don’t be surprised—for my food it’s
a very common trait.
My sushi is like pudding—
it oft does that when it’s boiled—
my pasta flew and hit the wall
my scrambled eggs were spoiled!
My quiche is rather like cement,
my spinach like a mop,
but it’s unique—you’ll never find
its likeness in a shop.