Xachos the Cook and Gut-Ripper

Yo, guys, my name is Xachos. I'm an Achaean warrior from Ithaca who serves under our smart and foxy King Odysseus.

At that moment, it was a big truce between the Trojans and us, since the now dead Hector, that murdering butcher of a man, was being buried by his Trojan people. So for eleven days, the whole Greek force did nothing but rest, heal, sacrifice, and eat.

Now, I don't mind killing Trojans with my sharp spear, but when it comes to eating animals . . . yuck! I guess sacrificing is necessary, but about our food, it's really terrible. We eat cow and sheep and birds all the time, and I really don't like that. After the third day of eating a young slaughtered heifer with plenty of gravy-gravy-gravy, I decided I had enough.

When most of my comrades were snoring, I went off to find a patch of green among the marvelously gory and bloody battlefields. I prayed to Demeter, the goddess of agriculture, for some leafy dandelions and mustard. I pleaded my cause, and since Demeter is kind-hearted, she provided them to me.

Next morning, I shocked everyone by providing a cold salad with wine. I had also added some olive oil and cheese, not to mention salt. My comrades scoffed at me, until my lord Odysseus of Ithaca stopped by and tasted my salad a dandelions. He promptly fainted, in the middle of tough battled-hardened men, before the plains of Troy.

When my lord woke up, he announced me as the new personal cook of High King Agamemnon, the living legend! I nearly fainted there myself.

The highest officers, after tasting my salad, started praying to Demeter, who then continued to provide us with fresh herbs, fresh olives, and toumatous. Everybody loved my dishes, except for the stubborn Achilles, who pronounced them too girly. Oh well.

Now the bet part! Not only I still got to rip guts out and slash throats when Troy fell, but I also got my hands on the whole Trojan reserve of Brussels sprouts! Yippee!