Heyo! Looking for feedback on my first draft of chapter one for a book I’m working on…

Chapter One: Plans and Predictions
The Midnight Blooms were playing right into Everest’s hands.
Honestly, Everest was amazed with how well this was all going.
They knew from personal experience that NOTHING ever went this well.
It was a little terrifying, honestly.
Everest set down their can of soda and set the visuals on the large screen to show the outside of the dome from all the camera angles they had.
They checked the time: Five minutes till when Everest had estimated.
“So,” they said, glancing across the room, “How have things been for you lately?”
Dust shrugged. “Y’know,” he said, “The usual. Revolutionary groups attacking, my old friend being suspected of treason, Despair being strange and confusing… The likes.”
Everest nodded. “Yeah, pretty much.”
“I’ve been meaning to ask…” Dust started, “Where are you from?”
“Oh, Ashinvale, off north.”
“Ah,” said Dust. “I’ve heard it’s quite nice there.”
“It was,” Everest said with a distant look. “Quite nice indeed.”
Dust nodded and looked down, as if he understood. “But then…”
“But then.” Everest glanced over at him. “I wouldn’t have thought you’d been through it, or else why would you be here?”
“I could say the same to you.”
Everest let out a small laugh. “Good point.”
The screen behind them flashed twice, signaling that the Midnight Blooms were on the move.
Everest rushed back over to their seat and punched a string of commands into the system.
The camera angles shifted to just the ones you could see them on, and Dust and Everest leaned in close to watch the scene in front of them play out.
✩✩✩
Vermilion glanced behind her shoulder. “Do you think it’s a trap, Morise?”
“Of some sort,” said Morise, loading her crossbow. “But most likely not the sort that will directly interfere with our plans. My guess? Despair’s been awfully quiet lately, and I would say she’s gotten someone new on the team to help with the defense systems. Whoever the new recruit is, their first move would probably be to gather more information on us. Hence, bait us in, but don’t try to stop our plan entirely.” She paused. “But of course, that’s all just speculation.”
“Goodness gracious, Morise.” Vermilion said with a smile, “Sometimes you’re way smarter than you have any right or reason to be.”
Morise laughed. “That’s one way to look at it.”
They approached the dome, which cast its red light over the group of flowery revolutionaries.
“Alright everyone, let’s do this fast, and let’s do this efficiently,” Vermilion said, turning to look back at the rest of the group. “We’ll handle it like we did with unit G-46, got it?”
Morise turned back towards the dome, and found the entry spot she had settled on. “There it is, everyone.”
Vermilion nodded. “Let’s do this.”
✩✩✩
Rellin sighed and leaned back against the large packing crate. “No use complaining too much, Chrysalis. The Midnight Blooms will never come for us, and that’s it.”
“How could they not come for us?” asked Chrysalis. “Despair said it herself, we’re the best unit in the entire dome. Imagine what we could do for them! Not to mention, how big of a dent it would put in Despair’s plans!”
“They could be trying to get us out,” Ellin said as she dropped down from above them. “Have you considered that if we’re the best unit, we’re probably also the best-guarded unit?”
“Exactly,” Rellin said, “While we may have the most freedom and trust in some ways, Despair’s not an idiot. She knows we’ll always be looking for a way out of here.”
Dusk leaned over from atop another crate. “Relly’s right,” they said, “There’s not much point in arguing here. The Midnight Blooms aren’t getting us out of here any time soon, that’s for sure. And in the meanwhile…” They smiled. “We have things to take care of.”
“I guess you’re right,” said Chrysalis, “We’d better get moving.”
Rellin nodded. “Speaking of which, does anyone know what we’re up to today?”
“A voyage of some sort,” Dusk said. “Not sure where, though.”
Sen came back into the room holding a piece of paper. “Mystery solved, everyone.”
“What is it?” Ellin asked, grabbing her gear.
Sen smiled. “It looks like we’re headed to Hihaven.”
✩✩✩
Everest watched the figures on the screen closely. “E-12, huh?”
“What?”
“That’s the best unit in the dome, right?” Everest asked. “The one Despair is depending on?”
“Oh- yes.”
“What can you tell me about each of them?”
Dust thought for a second. “Well, their healer, Chrysalis Costada, comes from Unvilshire. She grew up in a richer family, but one that didn’t take Blue Jay’s takeover very well. Naturally gifted in all abilities suited for a healer, she was nearly a perfect fit. It’s just her rebellious nature that gives Despair so much trouble.”
Dust paused and watched the screen for a second before continuing. “The guard, Rellin Sheir, is from Wintecian. Judging from that, it’s remarkable how good he is with a stone charm. If I recall correctly, he was picked up in Castlada after a flood hit his hometown. He’s clever, and quite good friends with the rest of the unit.”
“Let’s see… Dusk Wellington, the scout, has the uncanny ability to fade into their surroundings, despite seeming to be the kind of person who would stand out in a crowd. They joined the team in Mount Royel’s Glistening City, which is where they grew up. They’re quiet around others, but they say what needs to be said, inside or out of the unit. When they talk, listen.”
Everest nodded, still keeping an eye on the screen, but watching Dust as best as they could.
“And then,” Dust continued, “We have the artist, Sen Axis. He comes from Regrove, and was recruited when we were up there, after finding him spray-painting on a train car. It’s not the first trait we look for in an artist, but he made it work in a way we hadn’t considered before. And his skill with a paint charm is undeniable.”
“Last but not least, we have Ellin, the knight. She’s a wild card in many ways. She nearly blends into the role of the medieval-ish warrior so perfectly, but then she’s, say, chewing gum the whole time. Or it randomly turns out that she knows how to use a seek-charm when we thought nobody outside of scryers and ancient wizards knew how to use them. We have no idea where she’s from. She just showed up in Port Sola one day when we were there.”
“Wow,” said Everest, “That was a whole ton of information.”
Dust laughed. “Your fault for asking.”
“Not necessarily a bad thing, Dust, just a lot to consider,” Everest smiled. “Thanks, though. That helps me get a sense for the group.”
“Of course,” said Dust. “Whenever you need info of any sort, I’ve probably got it.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Dust gestured to the screen. “In the meantime, it looks as though things are heating up down there.”
✩✩✩
Vermilion wiped the sweat off her forehead. “Well. That went better than I would have expected.”
“Indeed,” said Morise. “I don’t think anything’s gone quite that smoothly since R-89.”
Amber walked over to them. “Miss, we have the unit secured and on their way to HQ. Is there anything else we need to take care of out here?”
“No, I think we’re good,” Vermilion said. “We can head back.”
Amber saluted. “Alright, miss.” she glanced over. “See you, Morise.” She headed over to relay the instructions back to the rest of the forces.
“Oh, do you and her know eachother well, then?” Vermilion asked, turning to Morise, who shrugged.
“We talk,” she said. “Not much more than that.”
“Well, in any case, we’d better get back to HQ, eh?”
Morise nodded. “Indeed. I’d better talk with the unit, and make sure we aren’t missing any important details.” She paused. “Also, I should probably check in with Demise.”
“Yes, it’s been a while since she’s sent us anyone, hasn’t it?”
“Nearly four months,” said Morise, “Which is longer than I’ve ever known her to take between ‘deliveries’. Most likely, this either means Despair’s been cracking down on security, or the licorice industry has been experiencing some increase in demand lately.”
Vermilion nodded. “Well, good luck with all that, Morise.” She turned towards HQ. “I’d better sort some things out with Amber and the others before I head back for the day.”
“Alright, Ve. See you in a bit.”