Prequel continued- part 2. 

As as I run through the woods, I stumble.

They are beating me, thrashing me, pounding me in the dust.

I have tried to master them.

I have hidden them from almost all eyes.

Except John's.

But they have taken control of me.

They overpower me-

memories.

They flash through my mind.

The laughs.

The little petty insults.

One memory in particular stood out: I walk home from school. The teachers had failed me although I was a better student than most. The kids had stolen my money and food. I sat by myself during class and now was walking home. "Home". Alone. As I walk, three girls jump out of the bushes. Laughing, they push me down in the mud. They jump on me and slap me. "Orphan girl! Scavenger!" They tease me. 

The memory is burned into my mind.

I can't, won't remember. 

I get up and run.

I hear footsteps behind me.

I am terrified.  

Why in the world did you think nobody would like it if you wrote it, Elmodaisy? This is an incredible story! You are incredible, too! I like it even MORE knowing that you wrote it! Can't wait 'till you post again! Keep up the great work!

Thank you so much! I just felt people wouldn't like it because… Well… I feel the CB only likes, as a general rule (this does NOT apply to everyone and is directed to no one in particular), animal or magic stories. I didn't feel a romantic\emotional thread would be admired or applauded… And I didn't want to be judged. I see how wrong I was and apologize. 🙂

Ok, this picks up where we left off; Jane and John decide to start anew…

I am ready to start anew. With Him.

He picks up my pack.

It may seem a little gesture.

But it means the world to me.

It means he will carry my burdens.

I have hope for the future.

For the first time, I just know.

I know I am loved.

Cared for.

And I am willing to follow John.

He can guide me.

I trust him.

We hold hands.

Life, pounding through his veins.

Into his palms, connecting us.

We are one being, we share life.

I Breathe and marvel at the miracle of air. 

We walk through the woods.

He leads me into a clearing, sits me down.

"Jane. Before we go on, I need to ask you something." I wait, merely watching him. He continues quietly but firmly, "Can you trust me completely?" I hesitate for the briefest moment; then I say in a voice barely louder than a whisper, "Yes." "Good. Sweetheart, I need you to believe me. We have to go back to the village. Just until I get enough money to support us and you finish school. Please." I stand up, dizzy. He's no better than the rest. He tricked me. Tears of anguish and anger blur my eyes. I stumble backward. "No! I trusted you!" I cry out. "Jane-" John starts. I feel the hurt, the anxiety in his voice. It doesn't matter. Doesn't he know I can never, never go back? It took a while to leave. But the village is no longer part of my future. I tell him this. He says, gently but with a hint of exasperation, "How? How will you support yourself?" I say, "I don't know. But I do know, if I stay in the village, I will die. The village is nothing to me but painful memories. You don't understand." I turn around to march away. But I turn around, John looking at me looking torn, conflicted within himself. Then he walks up to me. I am hopeful for a minute. But then he gives me my pack. "Good luck, Jane." He murmurs. He bends to give me a kiss but, with tears dripping down my face, I walk away before I go back. To be with him. It tears at me, but I can't, just can't, have anything ever again to do with the village. I must go on. Alone.

(To be continued.)

I walk forward.

I have no hope.

No spring in my step.

A few minutes of walking leave me exhausted.

I am wrestling with a mental battle.

Fears bombard me.

Hopes flee from me.

I sink down in a field of daisies.

Watching them, they seem to wave at me.

Come, play, free from worry.

they call out to my heart.

They are simple.

They are sweet and friendly.

Why can't I be like them?

There, in the meadow of daisies, I make a vow.

I shall begin again. I will forget and forgive. I will never wallow in self pity: I will be useful, courageous, sweet, simple, and gentle always. 

I begin to feel better.

It is a beautiful and worthy vow, I feel.

I decide to signify the change within myself by declaring it outside my self.

I walk to the nearest hairdresser.

I ask, "Can you cut my hair?"

the lady looks at me.

"Sure, sweetheart. What's your name?"

i hesitate for the briefest second before saying:

"Daisy." I need to let go of everything.

Including my name.  

An hour and $5 later, I come out with short, cropped hair.

I feel lighter and full of joy. 

I know I can serve a purpose to the world.

And I will search until I find how.  

Thank you, daises.

 
I whisper.  

I probably won't be able post tomorrow.