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I have to admit this: so, I'm in this ski lodge, right? And two people are making it together, so they put a thread up on This Month to discuss it together. And guess what?
I. Freaking. Read. It.
I'm sooooo mad at myself! I regret it so much! If either of those ski lodge creators are reading this, I am endlessly sorry.
Sincerely apologetic,
Soren
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I posted a thread under a fake name here once. I made it seem it was a new person coming on and I'm sorry for that.
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I often feel as though no one remembers I exist on here unless I'm right in front of them, as no one usually mentions me where I am not. I'm afraid to say so because I'm afraid I sound whiny and selfish.
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(sorry typing on a phone) yes I feel that way all the time jwyn. I am rarely rarely mentioned in any compliment threads or other thingies and I always scroll through them being optimistic but it doesn't work. I always leave the threads feeling bad about myself and wishing I could ask someone to do me. But you can't ask some one to give you a compliment. I would sound , like you said, whiny and selfish.
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Kate the Great, I just realized I never posted this before, and I'm really sorry. You are so amazing and daring, and I admire the way you're always welcoming. You are so brave, and I admire you for being yourself.
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I admit, I always admired how everyone was so welcoming. I never really was. I just started to welcome new CBers, and now I feel so freaking bad.
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Viola?, how did you know it was me who posted that……
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Now that I think about it, you're right. I didn't think they were really your thing, so it didn't seem remarkable… But that's weird. You're so bright and bold; how could we ever leave you out?
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Funny, I've noticed that, too. I think it was something about names that made me start? Like names you don't see a lot in compliment threads and such, despite those CBers being well-known. I wonder why…
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I feel like I'm slipping.
A year ago, a couple months ago– I saw my name everywhere on here. On compliment threads I was listed first. People were remembering me and knowing I existed. But now I look around and… where am I? I don't want to sound greedy. I don't want to sound mean or like I want my name in lights. I don't want any of that. I'm just afraid. Afraid that this spiral is going to continue down and down until I don't know anyone. The people I took under my wing on here… I'm afraid that they'll forget about me. I see them making appreciation posts and claiming people as their friends and thanking them for everything they've done. My name isn't there. Where am I? I want to say. I thought I was your mentor. Your friend. Not a footnote. And it makes me afraid to say this, but… those people that I mentored? Now it's their name in lights. Now it's them listed first. And I'm standing in the wings of the stage, wondering where my spotlight went. (Gosh, I need to stop with the theatre analogies. They're not helping my case– they just make me sound selfish. I've said it once and I'll say it again– I don't want the spotlight. I don't want to be the best. I just don't want to be forgotten.) I've seen it happen to so many before– people reach my age and they fade. Fade away from here until they're a shadow. I don't want that to happen to me. And look, maybe it's not. Maybe I'm overreacting. But writing helps. And writing this all out has helped me. I apologize for making you read through this mess of analogies and feelings.
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I think I maybe know who you are? I want to let you know that if I were any good at complimenting people at all, I would participate in compliment threads and I would remember you, because you're an amazing person. I don't feel like compliment threads and other things like that are exactly like they used to be, there's a whole new generation of CBers and I don't really have personal connections with many newer CBers at all because I'm not really involved in much CB stuff like RPs and that sort of thing. But also a lot of people I looked up to are gone, or changed. But you're still here. I look up to you. I just don't really know how to say that I appreciate people when I do.
I have plenty of things I could say on this thread but I probably won't. :/
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I don't really know what to say, but I want to help. Thank you for sharing, even under a pseudonym.
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I've been slowly drifting away from the CB and am always pretty much about to leave, because it doesn't really feel right for me anymore, but I love the stuff you guys create so I stay on it just to basically stalk you but not in a creepy way, and I end up posting stuff. But I wish I could make up my mind and either be an active member or leave.
Also I don't really like my CB name but I'm not sure what to change it too and actually I love my name what am I talking about why can't I decide anything I must be tired.
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I guess I'll post this now… I mean, please don't judge me for doing this, but the reason I made Puck (my first AE) was so that I could become more noticed-more "popular" on the CB… *hides face from embarassment*
There-there's my little confession.
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*shrugs* That makes sense. We do a lot with AEs, after all.
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Wow, I guess I really love this confession thing.
I feel like maybe this is my fault for not being more involved, but I feel like I don't have any friends on the CB. I have people I admire, but I always feel very on the outside. For me, there are no casual conversations with other CBers, not even replies to my comments. I get so thrilled every time someone just engages with me.
This ended up really bitter. I guess I should bring back my AEs, because that's how I sort of became friends with Nebula, and how a lot of people make friends.
Also, I once totally had a virtual crush on hotairballoon. Sorry, HAB.
Unsolveablez says hpwr. High power?
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Yeah, there's not really any random chat threads for CBers, only AEs. Writing ski lodges and doing picturings helps for me, but most threads have a clear focus, so there's not much room for conversation to wander and flow naturally. Maybe we should make one? I don't know.
I love ski lodges, though, both writing and entering them. It's fun to see what people think I would do.
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I feel that way too, Applejaguar. I think that’s why I liked SIs so much. Because I could be myself and no one knew if I was their friend or their enemy and everyone could just talk normally.
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I still stalk the forum sometimes, even though I stopped being active at least a year ago. Love you all!
(Also, I'm afraid I can't post as OtR anymore since all the newbies–and I use that term affectionately!–wouldn't recognize me. *blushes*)
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Hiiiiii! I've missed you! *tackle hugs*
Licensed Bookworm
Previously Known as Young Writer
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OtRRRRRRRR
I love you too!
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I ship some of you guys together…
Sorry, had to say that.
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Eh, most of us have never actually met each other (That we know of. i mean, it's possible) so we don't really care.
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In a situation like this, where it is very possible that people will care – someone shipping you with someone else can be awkward and uncomfortable no matter who it is – I think people would appreciate it if you spoke for yourself instead of everyone, because some people, including me, do not share your opinions.
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Interesting.
I do that too.
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Me too, but I'm curious to hear who you guys ship.
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Same! It–it might be a little weird, but I do want to know now, although I'd also be fine if you think you should keep it a mystery.
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I might post a list of some of the people I ship together, when I'm less busy.
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6Yes! I am curious as well! And @:), I am also grateful for this thread.
For my own confession: I feel as though I can never measure up to you all, and I'll admit I have been envious at times, and have sometimes tried to measure up in ways that I think may have hurt myself.
Please, forget I have said this.
I'm ashamed of even having felt envy.
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Hey, :)? Thanks for making this thread.