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I loved your first part! And the names were so dystopian and very cool.
I saw you were accepted into a school in california, that's so cool!!! I looked at a few colleges over there, but I'm still undecided, though, in my defence I have a little over a year before I need to make a decision, and don't send out apps until next year. Planning on staying in Washington though because out of state tution is kind of terrifying
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Here is some random artwork to kill time until finals are over… It's a map of the kingdom! Temell is the rival kingdom and Northland is… pretty much uncharted. But all the other places are dutchies in the Kingdom of ________. ….Yes I can't remember the kingdom's name don't @ me lol.
Anyways, Belfrise is the main capitol. That's where the capitol city is, and yada yada yada. Enjoy my neet map that I am veryy proud of hehe.
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OKay ended up doing some writing tonight anyways OOPSSS when creativity strikes who am I to resist but an utter weakling? I fixed the end of the last bit I posted and extended that scene more smoothly. So here is last scene's ending PT 2! I'll post the first bit of what Olliver says before things change so you know where I'm at.
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“And therefore right about King Ignes,” Oliver added. “If, and I’m not saying that this is completely true, but if she’s right about someone attempting to assassinate both of you, what does that mean?”
“That’s assuming it’s the same person,” Lucius said. “Poison and arrows are hardly similar; private versus public.”
“Or the same person hiring different assassins to make it less suspicious. They obviously wanted your father’s death to remain a secret, Lucius. The poison they used was virtually undetectable.” Deanna’s tired voice didn’t go unnoticed.
Lucius had to remember she had just lost her husband and almost her son. He wasn’t about to explain how the supposed poison had been completely undetectable, or voice any other concerns with her ideas. There was no evidence to back her claims. Other than her scarily accurate prediction, of course. She had theorized that Lucius’s life would be in danger around his coronation a week prior, so he kept his mouth shut.
Seeming to catch the hint, Oliver didn’t argue. “Hopefully Jaque will catch the assassin and we will get more information.”
There was a lot resting on that hope. Without evidence, Lucius wasn’t sure much more could be done besides quadrupling his security for an indefinite amount of time. He sighed and learned back in the cold, wooden chair, trying not to think of the bleak future ahead. His introduction to kinghood had certainly not been ideal.
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Hopefully this answers more of the questions I want answered! Let me know what information you glean from this edit… it's kind of important and I'm smh for not including it the first go about.
Anyways, I figure I won't be posting full chapters… but scenes. This one scene was 1400!!
(P.S…. Is kinghood a word? is that weird???)
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Ooh this is good! Kinghood is a word, if I'm not mistaken. I'm still a but confused about the relationship between Lucius and the queen but I like your witing stlye! Keep it up!
PS That map is super cool!
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Hi!! I'm… Uh… Meh I haven't been using my CB name lately. It's old. It's weird. And I don't think anyone likes it.
Nice to meet you! I've been around the CB for a while… For a few months in 2019 I appeared here, then kinda disappeared for a long time, and now I'm on and off. Honestly I love the idea but I don't have the patience for a forum lol
So yeah nice to meet you! It's always so cool to see older CBers return. It's weird to think that this has been around for sooo long, that some of the people who used to be here are all grown up. I wonder how long the CB has been around… Actually brb ima go see!
Ehhhh I don't know where to find this information but if anybody would like to feel free to take a look into it
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Hello, Me! except… the you Me, not the me Me. And anyways, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks of your name! If you like it, then DO IT! If not then have fun coming up with something else!
But, whoever you are, Me, it's really nice to meet you! Thanks for stopping by! Yeah I have no idea how long the CB has been around, but I have friends from my day that are MARRIED and have a KID. It's so weird being old, so enjoy your youth while you can!
Man I feel like an old grandma saying that. I'm not THAT old.
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Hello all! Here is the next scene! I've been enjoying my Chistmas break… (I did an ATLA Marathon with my friends. It took us 31 hours with some breaks, and I only slept 30 minutes during the whole thing!! It was superr fun.) I've been doing more worldbuilding/plotting/character developmenting than actualy writing recently, but I did get this scene done!!
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Eventually reinforcements arrived to escort them back to the castle. The only threat had been one assassin, so a carriage lined with iron and lacking windows was the perfect solution to safe transportation. It was, however, tedious with their escort walking on foot. Lucius had sent a messenger ahead of them to summon the King’s Court; there was no time to waste. He needed to meet with his advisors immediately and determine a course of action. Attempted assasination was no small act of treason. Or war, he thought grimly. There was every possibility that their neighboring kingdom, Temel, had gotten sick of sharing borders and saw his father’s death as the perfect opportunity to breed chaos. Lucius had no heirs to his name; appointing a new King would lead to dissension among the people and nobles as they tried to determine which of his relatives had a truer claim.
Leopold, perhaps? His cousin wouldn’t be too thrilled about ruling, although he would do well. Lucius shook his head. These thoughts were pointless now; the attempt had failed. Jaque would be paranoid as the Chief Guard and demand extremely excessive protection. It would be fine. He would be fine, and safe, and back in the castle within the hour. There was no point in worrying.
He worried anyways.
Finally, sick of imagining all of the ways his assassin could have been successful, Lucius turned to his mother. “It’s a wonder we don’t use this carriage more often,” he joked. “Dark, cold, and terribly noisy. It’s the picture of comfort.”
She smiled softly at his joke, but her expression grew serious as she lifted a candle to his face. “This might be your permanent means of travel, Lucius.”
He nodded and turned away from her searching eyes. “Doesn’t mean I can’t complain about it. Maybe they’ll add seat cushions if I whine enough.” This time his mother did laugh, and he smiled too. Then he remembered everything again, and he began to massage his temples in an attempt to ease the nasty headache that had developed over the last several hours. His mother was the acting queen; Lucius wasn’t married, which means he had no reason to require Deanna to retire. This also meant that she would be required to attend the King’s Court he had called. Which also meant he needed to ask her to keep her suspicions about the late King Ignes to herself. It would only cause confusion and breed division. Without any proof to back her claims, there was no point in bringing it up. There were more pressing matters at hand; like his life.
He glanced at his mother and braced himself. “I’d like to request that you keep your concerns about father quiet for the time being.”
To his surprise, she didn’t immediately lash out. She must have been more worn out from the day than he thought. “Why?”
“It’s not relevant,” he explained, “and there is no evidence. Right now, bringing up your suspicions about King Ignes will cause chaos and divide members of the court. I would not be surprised if many agreed with you, but I doubt that everyone will be so easily convinced.”
The queen turned as if to look out a window but, as there were no windows, she ended up staring at the candle in her hands. “It may very well be more relevant than you think.” Her voice was timid, and Lucius felt the invisible weight on his shoulders grow heavier.
She had loved her husband. Even though the kingdom’s official days of mourning for their king were over, Lucius knew that his mother would continue to grieve in her heart for a long time. “I’m sorry.” When she didn’t respond, he continued, “I promise we can look into it as soon as the present situation is resolved. Besides, if the assassin is caught, she might have information about King Ignes that will back your claims.”
“That’s a big if.”
It was desperation that fueled his laugh. “I don’t know what can be done if she isn’t caught. I spend the rest of my life imprisoned by my own guards?”
Deanna, the Queen of Valoria, could only pat his knee in response.
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Let me know if anything isn't clear, or sounds really awkward writing-wise. Thank you SO much to everyone giving me advice! I provide free 'entertainment' and you guys provide free editing + Motivation. I'm mainly here for the motivation, but getting advice is a big bonus, too. 😀
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Wowww that's a LOT of ALTA, honestly I wish I was older so I could do that (my parents would never let me stay up for 30 hours straight lol).
Anyway, this scene was super good! I still have some questions about the relationship between Lucius and the King (father/son? or is Lucius her son but he's not Lucius' dad?) and how the king died. But I can't wait to hear more about the kind of world that you're building and I can already see you forming the different stances of people in the court and the secrets and everything. Keep up the good work!!! I can't wait to see more of this and in which direction it goes in 🙂
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Even though I'm 18, I've been at home because of college. But I'm super grateful my parents have been understanding of that and been giving me freedom to do dumb things like an ATLA marathon! They are cautious, but i've built up trust over the years with them so they know that I am responsible. That's my advise; if you want to be trusted by your parents, you do have to earn it!
Thanks for you comments, Silver!! I'm super excited to keep writing haha, and I've been doing so much worldbuilding/plotbuilding and it's GREAT.
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Yikes!
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My captcha says "bigpf"… whatever that means!
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Hi Jazzy! I just saw this its really good!
Hi! I'm Moonlight! I've been here for almost 3 years and I actually disaeared but now I'm back and trying to be active!
You may remember my one AE, who is now uh gone, Logan? She was insane and really involved but yea! Welcome back!
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Nice to meet you, Moonlight! I think I actually remember your name… or maybe someone had a similar name back in my day. Anyways, thanks for stopping by! I hope you enjoy my story 🙂
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