Hey! So a

Chatterbox: Blab About Books

NaNoWriMo Workshop for CBers!
Hey! So a...

Hey! So a lot of you guys are on NaNoWriMo, and I was wondering if we could make a thread here to work with eachother for our stories next month, give suggestions, give criticism, and help eachother out. I need the help!

Also, NaNoWriMo is about books. So it's fitting for BAB, right? I think I tried this before, but it isn't coming through.

I have a plotline written out. Is it good? It's Children's fiction. The title is Sarah Secret. The Plot:

Sarah is an energetic young girl who believes in magic (VERY important to the story.), who's lived in the city all her life. Then, one day, her family grows. Her mother has a baby, and her Father realises that they can't live in a cramped and crowded apartment anymore, so he decides to follow his dream, and move to the country. They live in an old but updated house, but her dad has decided to get goats and fufill the rustic lifestyle. However, they live miles away from the nearest store, but there is many scattered houses if you go a mile away from where they currently are.

All of this is just a background.

The Secret: about 300 feet away is a very large house. It's grand, and Sarah calls it a Mansion. But the house has something to do with the tragic past of Rowina Road and the county that they live in, And it is said that a man lives in it alone. But, with the help of Sarah's troublesome goat, Andre, who snatches a peice of paper with a 'spell' on it that she wrote, she discovers that the man is not the only one who lives in the house.

A little girl, named Elizabeth, lives there as well. But why is she always inside the house? And why is she so quiet, and obedient?

As Sarah struggles to find her place in her new home, she also struggles with growing up, as she'll be 12 next year, and her only comfort and solace are her books, fantasy books wrote by authors in the city. Books with magic, which Sarah insists on reading, and writes 'spells' and runs wild with her imagination.

Elizabeth is her secret. But what's a secret if it's meant to be told? 

submitted by Icy, age 12!!!, The Forest
(October 6, 2016 - 9:03 am)

Oh my gosh, that is SUCH a good idea! I don't really know much about Nanowrimo... so... 

submitted by That is so GOOD!
(October 6, 2016 - 2:59 pm)

I agree, that is SOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!!! TELL ME MORE!!!!!!

submitted by Embers in the Ashes
(November 3, 2016 - 5:20 am)

I'm writing a fractured Alice in Wonderland called Four of Spades. It's a young adult novel.This is my third try for a fractured Alice, but I'm changing the plotline a bit. . . I haven't gotten much of the plot figured out. . . so yeah. I'll post it when I get it done. And Icy, I love your plotline!

submitted by September
(October 6, 2016 - 5:20 pm)

Name Help! 

I have a first name for my MC, but no last name yet. I've looked on websites, but haven't found anything good. So, CBers, your challenge: A last name that starts with L (preferably French or Italian) that goes with the first name Tatiana. 

Thank you! 

 

How about LeSeur or Lamour?

Admin

submitted by September
(October 6, 2016 - 10:02 pm)

Also, guys, I want buddies! Reply with your names and I'll send you a buddy request! :)

My goal is 30,000. Let's do this! 

submitted by Lemaux?-Inktail, (Pronounced lay-mew)
(October 6, 2016 - 10:36 pm)

I just signed up on the NaNoWriMo YWP page! I'm Inktail099. I don't have any ideas yet, but I'll try! This is my first time ever doing a NNWM, so I'm very excited! 

submitted by Inktail
(October 6, 2016 - 9:41 pm)

I'm planning a fractured fairytale about one of the following charries. I haven't decided which one I want to do. Rampion, Wilde Rosa, and Elana.

submitted by Cho Chang
(October 7, 2016 - 1:28 pm)

I'm fixing up my novel from last year! I was re-reading it, and it was really shallow, full of horrible, not-well-developed characters and it almost put me to sleep. I've rebooted it this year, making up a whole new genre 'cause I'm cool that way, and fleshing out all of my charries (I made charrie sheets! Really detailed ones! So proud). Here's the plot:

Anastasia is the eldest of six and a princess. All her life she's lived in a large castle (steampunk because it's as cool as me), never leaving the grounds or venturing into the world beyond. But she hates the dark and being confined, and accidentally discovers a portal on the castle's property leading to a pocket dimension at five years old. There she discovers the last of an ancient race, the collossal giants, who were hunted for sport based off of the legends that they were dangerous. In reality, giants are gentle, graceful beings, and helped Anastasia discover her talent of dancing and singing.

As she gets older, Anastasia starts to understand more of the things she sees. That beautiful view from the top of the highest tower, the fun one with the old-fashioned creaking elevator, isn't really so beautiful. It shows a life of poverty, of people living in animal-skin houses with no electricity, not even a fire to warm them. She sees overpopulation and sorrow and disease. Most of all, she understands that her father, the one she's idolized all her life, is doing nothing to stop it.

The pocket dimension becomes her refuge, the One Safe Place in a world of horror. Anastasia can't even stand to look at her father's eyes anymore-- the only eyes she's ever seen that are even close to her own. But, after years of wondering How To Make Things Better, a few days after her birthday in the beautiful weather of May, blood runs on the soil of the dimension. Giants' screams pierce the air.

This is where our story starts. The lonely pricess, diprived of the only thing that made her truly happy, hiding in a closet.

The sun goes around the Earth, like it does every other day of the year. Parents call. Anastasia walks out of the dark.

That night, she pushes through the gates and leaves the castle for the first time.

Travel is slow. She makes connections, gains trusts, and slowly learns all she needs to know. Within a month, Anastasia is talking in the woods to a black-haired woman.

She has a whole 'nother story. Her name is Raven, eighteen years old and leader of a thieves' band known as Freedom's Wings. Her father is the infamous Blackbird, the Robin Hood of the era, the most feared-- or admired-- form of hope in the land. Anastasia, heir to a tyrannical throne, growing up in a household with the most evil man on the planet, and carrying her mark everywhere just by looking someone in the eye, is requesting permission to join the band.

Wouldn't you refuse?
But there's another option. Blackmail, and it works well. All the digging wasn't for nothing. Anastasia does it remorselessly.

She is, of course, admitted.

I'm going to skip ahead with this plot, because otherwise I'm going to reveal every detail, and fast forward to the main events.

The Blackbird, a man who Anastasia has grown to trust and love, brings home a baby girl-- Raven's sister. Christened Robin, she ages a year in less than a month, and soon she's five, learning how to hold a knife from the elite.

Anastasia doesn't like the look on her face.

She doesn't like how no one else seems to notice Robin's obvious intrest in Inconginito's exploits. She doesn't like how everyone's too blinded by love to see that a six-year-old hunting a deer simply for the thrill doesn't bring good signs.

And she definitely doesn't like an eleven-year-old Robin, missing, with boot prints expertly wiped off the ground.

Flash forward again.

The Blackbird, Anastasia, and Robin are between a queen and a long fall. Blackbird chooses the queen; the youngers chose the fall. A rusty sword plunges into the hero's leg. Two girls hook onto a ledge, praying that their grapping hooks still work.

They are lucky.

The Blackbird is not.

His body is recovered at the foot of the cliff and put on official display. Look, says the town crier. Look. The Blackbird is dead.

Flash forward one last time.

Robin, the Blackbird, and the king's right-hand-man are all dead. Robin and Anastasia stand at the top of the tower for the last time. They look down on the poor crowd for the last time, all holding cybernetic enhancements to their eyes. 

The castle will be torn down.

The countries conquered will be released.

Anastasia will be queen.

But.

There is always a but.

As Anastasia publicly executes her own father, all she can see is red. All she can remember is when she was very small, and that creaking elevator, and dress-up games with her mother. There used to be a time when she was happy, so long ago. Why did Raven take that away from her?

In a flick of the wrist, the other executioner is dead.

The red is cleared. Everything comes flooding back.

Why?

Anastasia's body falls at the foot of the castle.

The Duke of Cornish, that dirty traitor, takes control.

It's not a happy ending.

____

That got long, and I skipped a few important parts. But what do you think? I can explain some things if there are big gaps to you.

submitted by St.Owl, age Recarnated, Everywhere
(October 7, 2016 - 5:38 pm)

Aaaaaagh!!!! I need help!!! 

My story is about a group trying to stop king scorching from taking over fyrrlae completely, buuut-

Should there be a prophecy or not?   I feel like a prophecy is way to overused but its the ebebst thing out there....

Advice please!!!!!!!! 

submitted by Windswift, age 13!!!!!!!!, The bottom of the ocean
(October 7, 2016 - 8:09 pm)

Hmm.....

I do agree prophecies are overused. Maybe you could do a prophecy, but given in a totally different way then you have ever seen? That's what I would do...XD but it's your book.

As for the title...

Maybe OOH!

Use a bit from the prophecy as the title! Yeah, a lot of people do that, but it works because every prophecy is different!

If this sounds too cheesy, I totally understand. XD 

submitted by @Windswift,Inktail
(October 8, 2016 - 11:41 am)

@St.Owl, 

I love your plot! It's a really interesting idea, but I got a bit confused about this part:

The Blackbird, Anastasia, and Robin are between a queen and a long fall. Blackbird chooses the queen; the youngers chose the fall. A rusty sword plunges into the hero's leg. Two girls hook onto a ledge, praying that their grapping hooks still work.

They are lucky.

The Blackbird is not.

His body is recovered at the foot of the cliff and put on official display. Look, says the town crier. Look. The Blackbird is dead.

Flash forward one last time.

Robin, the Blackbird, and the king's right-hand-man are all dead. Robin and Anastasia stand at the top of the tower for the last time. They look down on the poor crowd for the last time, all holding cybernetic enhancements to their eyes.  

submitted by September
(October 7, 2016 - 9:24 pm)

I was very poetic, wasn't I?

(also, dangit. I spend so much time getting Raven and Robin mixed up. The only time I actually mean Robin in that excerpt is when I say she's dead.)

Umm. The queen, Gertrude, is very two-faced, and what basically happens in that scene is:
1. The Blackbird is stabbed in the leg and falls off a cliff.

2. To run away from Gertrude, Anastasia and Raven jump. They grip onto a ledge by the edge of the cliff, and shoot grappling hooks to get off. (originally, Raven had animal-speaking-powers, and Gertrude had plant powers, but I decided to take them out.)

3. Robin, the Blackbird, and a man I didn't mention-- Ba, the thief hunter, who is ailurophobic and their worst enemy-- are all dead.

4. Raven and Anastasia publicly execute Gertrude and the king (Inconginito) at the top of the highest tower. The crowd have all been given these cybernetically advanced binoculars so they can watch from the crowd.

I really should proofread. Whoops.

submitted by St.Owl, age Recarnated, Everywhere
(October 7, 2016 - 9:41 pm)

It sounds great!

I'm not a big fan of stories that don't have at least mildly happy endings (By mildly, the least you can get and I'll still accept it was Hunger Games style) but I'll try my hardest to think outside of my usual Genre-- and I love the moral and emotional value of the story.

First of all, I would say do charecter development in your free time.

Mainly on the Blackbird and the rest of the rebels, but mainly the Blackbird. Maybe add a few rebels that are more minor parts, that some live, but for the minor parts, more live than die. You can do whatever though, I don't really care. Also, I love the bird names.

I would say, sorry for using Harry Potter as an example, he seems like the hardened hero, the example, sort of like Mad-Eye-Moody was a champion and hero to Harry, but Blackbird's younger, and obviously less ugly, ect. I think that you could break allot of hearts by developing a bit of their charecter--and who doesn't love a bit of heartbreak once in a Novel?

I can't wait to see where you 

submitted by Icy @St.Owl, age 12!!!, The Forest
(October 7, 2016 - 11:18 pm)

Yes, originally the Blackbird, Raven, and Anastasia were really under-developed. I still have to flesh out the Blackbird a bit more, but Raven and Anastasia are much more round than in my first draft.

I do have two minor rebels! I didn't mention them. One's The Announcer, a kind of pompous, pushy man who was second-in-command until Anastasia came around. The other is a fire-eater, otherwise known as Scarlett (she was originally Joss's character, I think, from that character-lending thread), who's the main character in the prologue that I may or may not be planning.

submitted by St.Owl, age Recarnated, Everywhere
(October 8, 2016 - 11:44 am)

I'm going to sign uo for NaNoWriMo, but I might not have any ideas. I just want to be there, just in case. I'm ViolinMagic.

submitted by Moonlight, age 11, Ellesmera
(October 7, 2016 - 8:07 pm)