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PICKLE PROBLEMS
PICKLE PROBLEMS
These are problems that can't really happen. (kinda like fictional problems). But there's a catch! Every problem has something you CAN'T do, and like fictional problem threads, you only have a few items.
For example, I could say: Help, giant Gherkins are banging on my door and I only have shampoo, cheese, and pie, but I can't smush the pie in their face. What do I do? (answer that!)
submitted by Luna, age 11, Hogwarts
(May 1, 2015 - 5:10 pm)
(May 1, 2015 - 5:10 pm)
Pour a puddle of ketchup on the floor and say, "This is hot dog blood! I am the most acclaimed hot dog slayer in my country!" They will freak out. Then heft the shovel and PRETEND that you're going to hit them with it. They will run away and you won't ACTUALLY hit them!
So I dropped Alton Brown off at Paris with the food processor, but now my hovercraft is being rammed by the Argo II! They think I'm hostile! So basically I'm being rammed by a ship full of crazed demigods with only a giant whisk, a frying pan that looks like it was attacked with a hammer, and a hovercraft whose weapons systems and communication systems are malfuctioning, so I can't use either! HELP!
(May 10, 2015 - 11:53 am)
Take the wire prong thingies of the giant whisk, and bend them into a message that says "I killed the gorgons that were chasing you! I am your friend! Please help me!" Then attach the message to the frying pan with a strip of cloth from your shirt, and throw it like a frisbee onto the deck of the Argo II. The demigods will realize that you are not hostile, and let you on board their ship, and fix your hovercraft.
I am stuck on the roof of a 12-story building, with an evil dragon chasing me, and the only things that I have are are a light bulb, a golden watch on a chain, and a hamburger. but I can't go back down the stairs, because the dragon blocked the way with rubble and poisonous slime! Help!
(May 10, 2015 - 2:10 pm)
First, hypnotize the dragon with the golden watch, then give it the hamburger so that it has something to keep it busy. Use the lightbulb to send morse code. Make it say "help I am stuck on the roof of a tall building with an evil dragon. Send a helicopter!"
Help, the dictionary came to life and it's chasing me around my house. He's spouting out a bunch of really big words and I think they are magical incantations that are meant to kill me. All I have is a fork, a bar of soap, and a magnet but I can't stab him with the fork.
(May 10, 2015 - 8:17 pm)
Talk in slang while throwing the soap at the Dictionary, which will confuse it and make it stop rattling off incantations, and then pounce and shut him. Hold him closed with the magnet.
Help! I have hoards of evil marshmallows chasing me! I have a match, some chocolate, a ghram cracker and some green lemmings, but I cannot use the lemmings to bite the marshmallows or light the match.
(May 11, 2015 - 2:01 pm)
Let the lemmings loose and they will pester (not bite
!!) the marshmallows until they start to retreat. When they're about to run away, smoosh them with the graham cracker and chocolate. POOF! A giant s'more!!! You can eat it if you want.
Help, my brother is wearing a suit and has a machine gun full of ketchup.(Don't ask, it's a long story) He's on the top deck of a cruise ship and I'm stuck on a flimsy rowboat. All I have is a mechanical pencil, a life jacket, a water bottle and a salt shaker (It's full of salt) but I can't wear the life jacket because it's too big for me and I would fall out of it.
(May 11, 2015 - 4:06 pm)
Use the life jacket as a shield and get close enough to your brother to put the salt in his eyes. Then swim away.
Ack! A magical frog wants to hug me and if he does I become a rat! All i have is rat poison, green tea, and another frog, but I can't eat the rat poison to make me become a human again.
(May 11, 2015 - 5:01 pm)
Use the magnet to summon an anvil. Then squash him with the anvil, because when in doubt, anvil.
Help! I'm on the Argo II now and everything's cool... EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT DARTH VADER WAS HIDING ON THERE ALL ALONG AND WHENEVEPIPER TRIES CHARMSPEAK HE GOES "LALALA IM NOT LISTENING"! All I have are some very confused demigods, a turret from Portal, and a package of Pixi Stix, but the turret is unloaded and can't fire on Darth Vader. What do I do? He has a lightsaber!
If you don't know what a turret is, look it up.
(May 11, 2015 - 6:01 pm)
Slam him with the turret. Then spray the Pixi Stix mix all over him and get the demigods to push him overboard.
Oh no! Ebenezer Scrooge is the principal of my school and to make him happy all I have are twelve cats, a fake mustache, and four turtles, but I can't make the turtles or cats do anything using the fake mustache.
(May 12, 2015 - 5:59 pm)
Put on the fine moustache, and say "WELCOME TO LUNA'S WONDERFLOOFULOUS CATURTLE CIRCUS!" then make the cats tap dance as the turtles sing a song.
So now we're headed back on the Argo II, but now Chell just ran in and yelled "HELP GLADOS IS AFTER ME AND SHE'S MAD!!!!" then GLaDOS ran in and yelled, "HELP CHELL IS AFTER ME AND SHE HAS A PORTAL GUN!" then my turret yelled, "CALM DOWN!" and resolved their differences, BUT now a lunatic with poisoned custard is threatning us. All I have are a very confused group of demigods, a sarcastic GLaDOS, a confused Chell, an unloaded turret, and a crossaint, but Chell's portal gun jammed and she can't portal him away. Now what do we do?
(May 12, 2015 - 9:53 pm)
Throw the croissant at lunatic and hope that he stops for a second. While he's busy being confused, whack him over the hend with the turret and RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!
Help, a cat burglar is after my taco but I am NOT, I repeat NOT going to give it to him. He has a sword and shield, (he's like a ninja in a cat burglar costume) and all I have is a bumblebee, a s'more, and one of those trick flowers that squirt water, but the bee can't sting him. What do I do?
(May 14, 2015 - 8:34 pm)
Squirt the flower at him. Since he is a CAT burglar, he will yowl and run off. Then eat your taco in peace.
Okay, so we ran out of the Argo II. Except now we're falling into the ocean. Not a problem, because Percy has the whole Son of Neptune thing, but a problem because MY POOR LITTLE TURRET WILL SHORT-CIRCUT AND SO WILL GLADOS AND ELECTRIFY ALL OF US!!!
All I have are the demigods, my turret named Caroline, GLaDOS, Chell, a potato and a single cherry Pixi Stix, but the water isn't portalable and I will NOT, repeat NOT put GLaDOS on the potato, as that is a sure way to get her mad at me. WHAT NOW??
(May 15, 2015 - 10:30 pm)
I really don't want this thread to die but I'm sorry Somebody, I don't have an answer to some of your question thingies. (Not sure if that sounds right)
(May 21, 2015 - 9:44 pm)
Okay. Pickle Problems restart.
So, I have a tablet charger, a teapot full of vinegar, and a copy of The Diviners by Libba Bray. But I am being chased by pigs on motorcycles who want to 'boar' me to death with their awful stories. I cannot throw the teapot at them, because it is an antique and if I lose it the world will end. Help!
(May 26, 2015 - 11:17 am)
Pour vinegar in as many pigs eyes as possible. Then whack the one of the others on the head with the book. If there are still more left and you're desperate, throw the tablet at them and run away as fast as you possibly can.
Help, my stinky socks have come alive and they have a light saber and a pistol and they're riding somewhat fast hovercrafts. All I have is a t-shirt cannon, a broken stopwatch, a bunch of junky San Diego souvenirs, and nerf gun bullets, but I can't shoot anything with the t-shirt cannon.
(May 26, 2015 - 3:48 pm)
Firstly, my sincerest sympathies to you. Now, first tie a bunch of San Diego keychains to the cannon and hurl the whole thing. That should take down at least one hovercraft. Then, tie a large shopping basket or San Diego tote bag to the long string of the stopwatch and let it billow out behind you to scoop up the socks. Finally, dump the nerf bullets on top of the socks into the basket/bag to stop them from escaping, plus jam some into the pistol so it is useless.
HALP, I'm being chased by internet kittens! All I have is a small glass jar with some honey, a paper airplane, a sharpie, a cup of popcorn, and a clown suit, and I'm hiding in a large bouncy house. However, I can't send the kittens a message with the sharpie. How do I fend them off?
(May 29, 2015 - 9:21 pm)