Why hello there!I

Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket

Why hello there!I

Why hello there!

I seem to be a little lost. I am a seller of cream puffs and coconut pies (I also sell scissors, muffins, broomsticks, time machines, and purple polka-dotted trombones, but that's beside the point).
What was I saying? Oh yes. I was wandering around cyberspace in my car with my ware, but it broke down and now I'm seem to be stuck here. Oh look, a sign. It says... hmm... Chatterbox.
All righteo, I'm in the Chatterbox. Whatever that might be. While I'm here, would you mind helping me fix my car? For it to opperate properly, I need...
-One strand from a woman's beard
-A tissue used by a rhinocerous
-Two pink striped chicken tenders
-A photograph of the Loch Ness monster
And, hardest of all...
Oh... this will be impossible, I doubt you've ever heard of one, but...
-A pancake.
As you collect these items, would you mind telling me about your adventures to find them? I would love to hear them. Also, would you like to buy a cream puff or a coconut pie? (Or scissors, muffins, broomsticks, time machines, or a purple polka-dotted trombone.) 
Toodles! Please help me!
P.S. You can also try to guess who I am!!! BWAHAHAHAHA! 
submitted by The Cyber Merchant, age IDK, The Chatterbox!
(September 25, 2015 - 8:33 pm)

*grabs a pancake from the fridge*

As it so happens, I am one of the rare few who are blessed with the knowledge of the pancake.

Now, if I gave you this pancake, would you give me a time machine? (which we both know is code for TARDIS)?

submitted by St.Owl, age Recarnated, Everywhere
(September 26, 2015 - 11:26 am)

Oh my goodness! I am rather impressed! Thank you, thank you! You must be a superior being to know the secret resting place of the legendary pancake, the Fridge!

One TARDIS coming up! 

submitted by Cyber Merchant
(September 29, 2015 - 5:44 pm)


submitted by Top
(September 27, 2015 - 2:47 pm)

Time Machines, you say...

I have a photograph of the Loch Ness Monster here. We're on good terms. It's actually a selfie she sent me through Sea-mail. 

submitted by Brookeira
(September 27, 2015 - 5:23 pm)

Thank you! I appreciate it. Would you mind tellling Nessie hello from her old chap the Cyber Merchant? We used to be very good friends but then she for some reason, stopped talking with me when I sold her a polka-dotted trombone for $200 dollars more than it was worth. My, Time Machines... hmm, these are popular, certainly! I must restock. 

submitted by Cyber Merchant
(September 29, 2015 - 6:47 pm)

I have a tissue used by a rinocourous.

It was my dear aunt's birthday present to me- she travels a lot and always gives strange and funny birthday presents. This year it had been a wonderful old book. I had been flipping through it when the tissue fell out- used, much to my disgust - right onto my shoes. I asked her about it and she said that it must have been used by the rinorcous she bought it from. When I didn't believe her she showed me a picture. Anyway, you can have it if you so desire. 

submitted by Indigo
(September 27, 2015 - 5:57 pm)

I would indeed enjoy having this! Thank you, Miss Indigo! Would you like any repayment? We are having a special on overpriced pink broomsticks if you are interested. 

submitted by Cyber Merchant
(September 29, 2015 - 6:49 pm)

Hmm.... You say you're selling a purple polka dotted trombone? I'll take it!

Would you take two pink striped chicken tenders as pay? You would?! That's just what you've been looking for?! Wow, it really is your lucky day! You see, I was traveling through the wasabi desert when I came across a hen. She had lived on a farm in the rainforest, but a hawk scared her away, and she found the desert. She wandered along for a while, in search of an oasis, but sadly, she never found one. I was about to tell her that there was one just a half mile away, but it was too late, and she shriveled up and fried in the hot desert sun, right in front of me. Realizing that I now had a pile of fresh fried chicken tenders, I decided to stick them in my pack, in case I got hungry later. However, they were boring and brown just like everything else in the desert, so I decidedly decorate them. I took the pink spray paint and glitter that just happened to appear randomly in my pack and I covered my chicken tenders in pink glittery stripes, and I just happen to have two left. Are you happy? Did I earn my purple trombone? I think I deserve a puppy treat too. Do you have any of those? If not, a chocolate chip cookie should be fine. Bye now, nice doin' business with ya'

submitted by Dragonrider
(September 27, 2015 - 7:41 pm)

Here you go, Dragonrider! One purple polka dotted trombone coming up. Thank you for the chicken tenders. I believe I may know the chicken in question, was her name Mary? (She may have pronounced it in chicken as BWAAK BAK BAAAK.) We will all mourn her loss. She was a good chicken. I just happen to have a puppy treat as well, you may have it. Do you mind that it is grass flavored, made to induce regurgating in dogs? (Really. Grass does make them throw up.) 

submitted by Cyber Merchant
(September 29, 2015 - 6:53 pm)

Here, I genetically mutated these chickens so they would give pink striped tenders, and here's a strand of hair from a woman's beard (please do NOT ask). 

Now give me cream puffs and a coconut pie. NOW 

submitted by Somebody, age Who cares, Various places
(September 27, 2015 - 11:09 pm)

Thank you, Somebody! It is always good to have more than the needed supply of chicken tenders. Don't worry, I won't ask, but thank you for the hair strand. Here's your coconut pie and cream puffs... would you like them served on a plate or a la throwintheface?

submitted by Cyber Merchant
(September 29, 2015 - 6:55 pm)

Thank you everybody, for helping me find all the items I needed! 

But... I have another problem now. As I was cruising through cyberspace, I found my destination, a marketplace where I was to sell my cream puffs and coconut pies (and scissors, muffins, broomsticks, time machines, and purple polka-dotted trombones). However the market was gone and all I found was a huge convention of radioactive robot mutant dogs! They have taken me hostage and wrapped me in stale bacon and tied me to a post! 


submitted by Cyber Merchant
(September 29, 2015 - 7:00 pm)


What happens

Devil Owl walks in.

Dev: Tsk. What a bunch of amatuers.

Dev wraps up the Cyber Merchant in spaghetti.

He then looks at the ammo.

He begins to hand out brussels sprouts, cabbage, lettuce, and broccoli.

Armed with a new weapon, the dogs begin attacking.


Whoops. Guess that didn't work....

Devil Owl leaves, but does not bring the ammo or Cyber Merchant with him.

submitted by St.Owl, age Recarnated, Everywhere
(September 29, 2015 - 7:25 pm)

Uh oh! That didn't turn out so well! I'm still stuck here! And now the enemy has new weapons!!!! AHH! No! No! Not the Cabbage Leaf torture method! NOOOOO!

Oh, lookie! That odd Captcha character seems to be telling me "mace." He thinks you should use mace to defeat the dogs! 

submitted by Cyber Merchant
(September 30, 2015 - 10:34 pm)

Hm, a mace, eh? I may have one of those in my Attic of Destructive Weapons... hmm....

*tosses out four rifles, three kives, a frying pan, and a cascade of boiling hot coins before emerging with a nail-studded wooden mace*


submitted by St.Owl, age Recarnated, Everywhere
(October 1, 2015 - 4:03 pm)