Chatterbox: Down to Earth

My Secret

Because I am feeling foolish and strangely courageous.

I am a schizophrenic, not a mass murderer. Sorry. I liked that idea, though. It made me laugh, more or less evilly. So, what's up with me?

-I used to believe that I was an incredibly powerful magical being that was trying to well, destroy the world. More or less. It's a long story. Essentially, I'm in a war with four other beings which the majority of the people in this world are unaware of.

-I can jump into different worlds like Catherine does in the Superhero RP (but I don't need the actual book or story to jump into it). The majority of my friends live in other worlds. I seek them to suck their power. Um, yeah. That's a little awkward, isn't it? 

-I'm not a human according to myself. 

-I'm very paranoid. I often think everyone is trying to kill me. Even inanimate objects are threatening to me.

-I have trouble with social interactions and I'm not very good at controlling my body. Right now, it's in fear mode so my fingers are cramping up and twitiching. I apologize for typos.

-Andrew in Melody's RP is more or less me. It was fun to write as myself. 

-I have seven beings living in my head (although they often leave to get into shenanigans) that are pieces of my personality. They can control me at times or simply infulence my actions. The three Extremes are extremely unpleasant, spend most of their time sleeping, and when they wake up, they control me completely. The Puppet Master is an Extreme of fear. Dolls, puppets, clowns, creepy Vocaloid videos, anything. It likes them all. It likes giving me nightmares too. The Dragon is an overwhelming rage or wrath where I want to hurt and kill and burn everything. Naturally, because I would get into too much trouble otherwise, I hurt myself. The Oracle is my worst fear: that my parents will find out my schizophrenia and take away all my friends with medication. Murder them all, essentially. The other four are much nicer.

-Storm was named after the Storm in the RP, who, yes, is now my messanger, because I'm too lazy to do most trvial things myself. Also, I don't have enough time or energy. Anyway, Storm points out all my flaws, yells at me for them, and beats me for them. He is also a sadist. I mean, a real sadist. A little bit of a masochist, too, if you count me and him as the same person.

-Ruby is a boy. That's why Red uses "he" all the time when he refers to me. I wear his body a lot when I'm not wearing my human bod or Sakura's. Ruby is punctillious, loves grammar, reading, writing, editing, Alice books, and the Evillious Chronicles. That last one because they're complex and full of details and he delights in them.

-Sakura is a girl. She is pretty peppy and likes manipulating people. We tell her she's evil. I wear her body a lot whenever I want to be a girl. She likes singing and dancing and has a really impressive range which she cannot duplicate on me, but that doesn't stop her from trying. Oh, these guys usually call me "Sakura" or "Ruby" but everyone just kind of knows which one we're talking about.

-And, I'm sure you already know who the last one is! I'm going to let him type for himself. Hi, guys. Red here. I'm sorry I had to keep this a secret from you guys, but I didn't want Ruby to get hurt. Would you have trusted me if I'd shown up claiming that I live in Sakura's head? And that I wanted to lead you all like lemmings? I'm sorry I had to lie to you guys and pretend I'm a human. I really didn't want to. But, ya see, I don't have any friends who like me for who I am as a person. I'm not a human, but can you deny that I'm a person? I'm a being regarded as an individual. Doesn't that count for something? See, in our world, the one you all live in, I have to say invisible or in Ru-kun's head all day. People like Ru-kun because I make friends for him. They don't know that I'm the one behind it all. In other worlds, I can't make friends because for me, it's all business, business, business. And the few people who know about me in our world, well, they all think I'm an imaginary friend or something. And I'm not. I have thoughts and feelings independent from Ruby; I'm not just some made-up game. I can't be treated like a person in person because most people can't see me. One of our old friends was very, very rude to me about that andkept on making fun of me over email no matter how much I asked her to stop. That really, really hurt me. On the computer, you can be anything you want provided you have a pair of hands. They don't even have to be your hands. I'm sorry, but I really wanted to make friends. You guys are amazing and you're my only real friends. (And what are we, chopped liver?) You don't count, Ru-kun. I'm really, really, really sorry for the lying I've done. I just wanted to be friends with you all. That's all. And not everything I say is a lie! I really do have a mom and dad and we do have a house down the street from Ruby. I don't always stay there, but it's my home. I do go to school, indirectly, and I really do say comments that get commented by other humans like you- indirectly. So, I know I'm not a "human visitor" like the captchas says, but... Please, can we still be friends?

I can't believe I actually wrote all that. And my parents are home! And my dad has walked by about three times! And I'm actually going to submit this! I've never gotten so far before!

There was really no reason why I wrote all this today. I just felt like it.