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How to Better
How to Better Yourself
I was doing some good old self-evaluation earlier, and I realized that of course, everyone can be a better person. I uhh... am about to write a whole post on a philosophical system I created. But ignore that fact, this is how to better you. Yourself. You, that wonderful, smiling person over there! Or frowning, you are confused or upset at the moment.
I found the flaws in myself, and I know these are common flaws. With each step, it will lead to a happier, healthier life where you will become satisfied. Below each step is examples or steps to get there, steps for those steps, etc. Some things get complicated quick. But just stick to the basics and I think you and I can both improve! I am flawed, and so are you. So let's do this together, no?
My Steps to Bettering Yourself (feel free to make your own for others to follow!):
1. Bettering your family/friend relationships
- Create a tradition/daily habit for yourself. Say good morning and good night every day to your parents and siblings. Say "I love you" daily, and really mean it.
- Don't end a conversation walking away angry. Or end the night without looking your parents in the face with love.
- For friends, express how much they mean to you whenever you guys are together
- Love. Love your family, love your friends. Express this in any way that works for you, and do it daily. Don't wait for National Best Friends Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Grandparents Day, Valentines Day, or such. Do it today. Do it now. Do it for as long as you live.
2. Yoga and meditation
- People mock me for this, but I challenge you to do it for one day. Just a single day, 15 minutes. 10 minutes. Whatever. Find a five-minute meditation video (Doyouyoga has an amazing beginner yoga and meditation series!), and a five-minute or ten-minute yoga one. Then evaluate how you feel afterward
- Do it daily! Your mood with lift, you won't be stressed, you won't even feel angry or frustrated anymore. Not just keep it in, but not feel it whatsoever. You will gain patience, mental and physical strength, and be a well-rounded person.
3. A diary
- Again, another "mockery" item, but don't listen to what people say. The diary is like a book, it won't judge you, interrupt, or speak. It listens thoughtfully and holds your memories - good and bad - dearly.
- Write daily, write a list of every single good thing that happened to you that day. This will make you a more positive person. Write another like 300 character list summarizing your day, all the great things that happened. Then write a short (or long) diary entry and let your heart out. There are great apps if you don't trust having a physical diary. Who knows? Maybe one day it'll be known like Anne Frank's :D
4. Religion and/or balance
- If you are religious, then pray, speak to your God, go to church, do whatever ritual you do in your religion. Be a good person, and feel connected to whoever your spiritual leader or God is.
- At the end of the day, or after a big event, or whenever, stop and self-evaluate like I did. Write down or say out loud every sin you did. Small or big. And consider how you could have approached that differently, and ask for forgiveness. If that's what your religion does.
- If you aren't religious, or the above doesn't apply, then find balance. Start by evaluating anything you think was wrong, and consider how that could have been approached differently. Then afterward, look up at the stars, or clouds, or sky, and take a deep breath. Let the earth and air fill you and set your mind at ease. I recommend doing this even if you are religious. It really sets your mind at ease, my friend.
5. Letting go, and seeing the world through new eyes
- If you had a fight, stop, before leaving it, and look the person in the eyes. Consider how they are feeling, how they see and hear you. Consider what you said or did. And like I said, don't walk away from anything or anyone on bad terms or angry. You might not always be able to see eye to eye, or understand the person, but try your hardest.
- Even if you cannot make up, ease away your anger and get one last look at their face. Then go and comfort the person later. Ask for forgiveness, give your own, and explain that you might not be able to see eye to eye, but you feel how they do.
I hope these help you, for I feel they might for me! And like I said, feel free to add more and we can all improve together.
submitted by Ashlee G., age 16, The Future
(May 25, 2017 - 1:10 am)
(May 25, 2017 - 1:10 am)
Ashlee, that was the most heartfelt, wonderful and amazing post! You should start a blog and give these suggestions to all the world!!! You are such a lovely person!
I totally agree with you! I don't do all these things, but I think I will try!
To add to your list - Dona Eden (I think that is how you spell it). Anyway, Dona Eden haw a wonderful 5 minute energy video that you can find on YouTube or online. I would highly suggest this!!!
-Also, if you are the kind of person that gains from energetic things (like I am) then you might like making a everyday energy thing for yourself. This might be something from yoga to climbing a tree!
And lastly, but maybe mostly, being happy makes you an all around happy person! Smile. That is the first step, if you have trouble smiling, then do something that you know will make you smile! Being an angry person brings you no gain to the world.
Thank you so much for this Ashlee, what a wonderful post!!!
(May 25, 2017 - 7:09 pm)
Thank you, SIlver! I absolutely love your tips as well, I'll add that to my list! And I actually have a blog, but it is about creative works, like writing, art, theatre, poetry, music, etc. So maybe I will make a second one for "life-tips" or something. Or even write a book or essay on bettering one's character! Oooh, thank you for the idea,s SIlver!
(May 26, 2017 - 11:52 am)
To the top of this beautiful earth you go!
(May 25, 2017 - 7:15 pm)
Can I add to this list?
Important step to bettering yourself- self-love!
~I seriously cannot stress this enough, to truly love others you have to love yourself first. If you see yourself as ugly or dumb or not good enough, you'll believe it, so the best advice I can give is to at least try to think positively about yourself even if it's hard. I know, it may take time to get out of the habit of always thinking about your flaws, but it's will be worth it. If you think your art/writing/poetry/anything is bad, think about how good you'll be after another year of practice! Write down everything you love about yourself and focus on that when you feel sad or self-loathing.
~Don't! Compare! Yourself! To! Others!
~Taking care of youself physically. Drinking enough water is very important, and eating enough food! I also believe things like yoga or even just spending time outside will make you feel better and more productive.
~Fake it 'til you make it. Smiling, straightening posture, and calm breathing may make you feel better even if it's not real. I said I was an optimist for two years despite being very pessimistic, and finally, I'm here now as a truly happy person.
Other things:
~Appreciate beauty. Love the sound and smell of rain instead of focusing on how it gets your shoes all wet. Compliment people and write down/make a list of things that you love (I did this once and it really put me in a good mood) Then, read it over and over when you feel down.
~Change things up! I think making life less monotonous is important, while routines are good and helpful, it's good to have a change every once in a while. Paint your room. Cut your hair. Dye it. Start a blog. Listen to different music or try being vegetarian for a week. Spend a whole day splatter painting or go to a lake or try a really gross flavor of ice cream. Try things while you still can, that's the only way you can find out what you like.
~Take a break from the internet. I know I sound like an old man, but something's changed for me in the past few months, and I think it's partially because I gave up all electonics for Lent. Taking breaks from things, even things you enjoy, can be refreshing.
~Have a good support group/surround yourself with good people. The CB is good for this.
~Get rid of clutter- I know it kind of stresses me out, it may or may not to you, but have clean workspaces and rooms make me feel a lot better.
~Give. Trying to find a balance between being a selfless person and a doormat is hard, I know, but even simple things like playing with your siblings when they ask or sharing food with friends will make you feel happier.
This is a great thread, Ashlee!
(May 28, 2017 - 10:49 pm)
I absolutely love your list, Bluebird!
I have to say that last one... yeah, my struggle. Not that I don't give, but that I give too much. I'm the doormat. I give too much time and effort to people, which is never appreciated. Although I have to say, I have become a lot better about that, becoming less of a doormat.
And about taking a break from the internet, I couldn't agree more! Once when I was younger - 10? - I would play the Wii for 14-16 hours a day. I would only stop to eat, use the bathroom, and go to bed. Even then, it was sitll on my mind. So my parents sold the Wii. I was furious, but it served a good thing. Then came Minecraft. Boy, did I play this too much. Again, back to another 14-16+ hours a day (I think I was 12?), and my parents finally got rid of all access to the internet for a month or so. It changed me. I found Minecraft boring (that was not the point of it! But a side effect for sure) and I actually did things with my life.
Since then I still game in the mornings and nights because I am limited to no access during the day. Weekends I play a good 8-10 hours, which isn't a lot in my mind. At least, if you compare to what I used to do. I remember I once reached 20 hours. I slept 4 hours that day! This was on the Wii, and it was a bad habit, playing sometimes 20 hours a day. Not good.
So yeah, I am a gamer (and proud of it!) but I have to say, taking a break from all electronics, whether offline or on, is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
(May 30, 2017 - 12:32 pm)