Chatterbox: Down to Earth




And how to deal with them: an advice thread. Looking for advice on my situation, and looking for others who have dealt with similar

When I was younger, I faked things a lot. Luckily it was never quite as bad as it has been for many others I've known (to be specific, I'm not talking about CBers here, but acquaintances and friends from other areas of Roleplaying, like Minecraft) but from that awful situation, I did learn how to recognize people who are faking things a bit better.

Enter S. Scar. She's a casual friend, who's part of the friend group I'm in. We did some fun roleplay together, she was part of this Corrupt Kingdom RP I owned. As she became more active, it was clear she wanted attention. 

She would name herself things like 'Happy Always' and other, similar-sounding things in the group chat. Subtle, oh-so subtle hints that she 'wasn't alright'. She would say that stuff was going on in her life (which is perfectly fine!) and that she would PM some trusted friends about the situation. ...Couldn't she just have PMed them without telling everyone she was going to?

A bit after that, she left the group chat for a break. Came back a while later. She would go on to do this multiple times. 

This next part is the most heavy bit of this entire situation, so I'm going to do my best to gloss over it as well as I can. We roleplay together with other friends, right? Well, her roleplay character has, to say the least, a mental illness that is not handled very well. One that she herself also 'has'. It's a very common but also just heartbreaking type of mental illness, and she's been seen using it to guilt others. That's all we're saying about that.

Now, my personal story is that I have Anxiety (this is not what she is claiming to have). It's my own issue and, honestly, it's not too bad in my case. But would I give any of my characters Anxiety? No, absolutely not! While I've heard it can be therapeutic in certain cases and I completely  condone that, there is utterly no excuse for the level of detail this girl is putting into her character's illness. Not detail as in making the illness as realistic as possible, but as in showing that this character has that illness as much as possible.

I'm sorry for the darker subject matter and I hope that part was suitable as it can be for the Chatterbox. I won't be further elaborating on it. 

I wanted to create this post for advice on the situation I'm in. If you have been in a situation involving fakes, I want to encourage you to share it (as long as you are comfortable with the situation.)

Thanks for reading. I'm sorry I couldn't bring something new or creative to the CB, but I wanted to bring this situation to light. 

My advice is to stop participating in anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.


submitted by Icy, age 14, The Forest
(August 9, 2019 - 10:00 pm)

It seems like she's doing this for attention and/or to use as a tool to get what she wants, so... I guess don't encourage her. Expect what you accept, to quote a person I don't remember the name of (who was, in turn, quoting her grandmother). If it ever gets to be too big of a problem, you can talk about it to someone involved or stop interacting with her--I don't know if the site you're using allows you to block users, but if it does, that's an option. Treat her how you would want to be treated (not meaning roll over; rather, do what you would be glad for if you were looking back on that situation). You're an incredibly smart and awesome person, so I think whatever you end up doing will work out. 

Best wishes! 

submitted by Viola?, age Secret, Secret
(August 20, 2019 - 8:19 pm)
submitted by TOP
(August 21, 2019 - 5:06 pm)

A friendly reminder from someone who has suffered because of this- mental illness is a hard thing to cope with. To live with, every day, with no escape and often times little vents. It’s best to try and treat every case of ‘mental illness’ as if they’re serious, because even if they are pretending something must be wrong- who would willingly flaunt something so shunned and so taboo in this society? Who knows, maybe something is seriously wrong. I’m not saying ignore it, it clearly makes you feel uncomfortable, but this is something she must work through, and support is more helpful then fusteration or hate. I understand this makes you uncomfortable, but why do you think? Is it because mental illness is so taboo and so hated on or that you yourself have been diagnosed with a similar disorder and don’t understand how someone could just pretend to have this horrible debilitating thing? People have different coping methods. I myself started out yelling my disorders to the stars, hoping hoping it would go away or somehow people would understand and help or just stop judging me on things I can’t control. Now I try and spread as much awareness as I can, so others like me don’t feel how lost and confused I felt. Don’t judge how people deal with issues so shunned in this society, because often times they don’t know what to do. Because people don’t talk about it. And if they do, it’s something like ‘smile more’ ‘your not trying hard enough’ ‘try to lighten up your making us uncomfortable’ ‘you’re just faking it’. Do you know how hard it is to hear these things? Especially with everything else going on? Would you say the same thing about someone with cancer, or a broken bone, or a dibilitating physical disorder who’s only way to vent is by online means because their family thinks God has cursed them and none can save them? I understand certain things are hard to hear. There is such thing as second-degree trauma, where something someone went through has an emotional effect on you as well. But this can help you help them by understanding them better and trying to get them to go to therapy so they can leave their bad past behind, and understanding them will ease away your discomfort. So what I’m trying to say, by understanding and treating their coping methods with support instead of with mistrust and frustration, you can help them ease down on the amount of things they talk about and the amount of confusion they sputter out and the discomfort you get. By understanding them your discomfort will go away. And you might even make a new friend! 

submitted by Claaws , Class 2020
(August 21, 2019 - 8:18 pm)