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JDD/BHR Team Writ
JDD/BHR Team Writing
So this is for the story that me and BHR will write. Here are the comments discussing it previously:
Okay, BHR! What do you think the story should be about? I think it
should be set in a world where it started many centuries ago, with just
one person in a world consisted entirely of a field of grass that went
on for many miles, and then as he wished for more to exist in it, more
things came into existence, creating a very fantastical world. Hmm, what
should be in the world?
submitted by Joe Dosie Doe, age Almost 14, An elephant's trunk
(April 5, 2013 - 3:02 pm)
Sorry JDD! Nano is keeping me really busy. Hmm. I rather like that!
Perhaps it could be a mix of cultures, time periods, abd general
fantasy? Such as old cottages, castles, irish music, and gnomes, trolls,
fairies and the like. Just a random reference. What do you think?
submitted by Blonde Heroines Rule
(April 5, 2013 - 8:46 pm)
How about our central hero is someone who, unlike the other
inhabitants of the world, is painfully ordinary and so is shunned by
everyone else?
submitted by Joe Dosie Doe, age Almost 14, Unknowingly knowing
(April 6, 2013 - 12:35 pm)
Yeah, I like that. Maybe we could have a hero and heroine? Like
underdog characters. They depend on each other. Then a disease or some
such thing could sweep through world, and they could be the only ones
not affected? Or war could be on their doorstep? Anything really.
submitted by Blonde Heroines Rule
(April 6, 2013 - 5:30 pm)
Yeah, I like those concepts. And the hero and heroine thing sounds good.
You can make up the herione, who will probably be (surprise!) blonde.
Here's my hero profile. You can make changes to it if you want.
Name: Dewey Lloyd
Age: 15 going on 16
Species: Warlock
Abilities: Can cast spells, but is not an extroardinarily accomplished warlock
Personality: Mischevious and untrustworthy
What he likes to do: Play pranks using magic such as changing the color
and/or design of someone's underwear or causing bird poop to explode on
the victim when they go to clean it up
Relatives: He has a sister he lives with (you can make up the sister!) but does not know she's his sister
Hmm... so what should the whole conflict be? I do like the disease thing.
submitted by Joe Dosie Doe, age Almost 14, Unknowingly knowing
(April 7, 2013 - 11:50 am)
Hehehe! How did you know? Yes, she will probably be blonde, so let's see...
Clover Lloyd.
Age; 13 going on 14
Appearence; Long, free flowing pure blonde hair with thick bangs
constantly getting in her eyes, starry black eyes, very pale skin, red
lips, light freckles under her eyes and across the bridge of her nose.
Wears; Knee length black cargo skirt, white puffed sleeve blouse with a
black lace up vest (I guess what you'd call peasent style), black
hunting boots, black wrist length cloak held with a silver crescent pin.
(I know a lot of black, but if you can really picture how it would
look, it's not really that much)
Personality; Sweet tempered, quiet, determined, strong though she looks
fragile, though that's because of an illness she contracted when she was
very young. But she has a complete other side most people don't expect.
She's mischevous, likes pulling pranks as well, though keeps her
trickster identity secret. She is especially out going, and all around
happy when she's with her brother.
Has a secret love of nice pretty things, and music. That's why her little wooden flute means a great deal to her.
The conflict can be a mixture of things, with one main source? Like it
starts with an illness, and moves on to random disappearences such
things? Like it has something controlling all of this. What do you
think? I'm game really for whatever. I like new twists, so...
submitted by Blonde Heroines Rule
(April 7, 2013 - 5:34 pm)
I like Clover, but I think she and Dewey should have different last
names, since their not supposed to be aware that they're siblings.
submitted by Joe Dosie Doe, age Almost 14, Unknowingly knowing
(April 8, 2013 - 9:59 am)
Good point. Hmm. Mirth. Clover Mirth!
submitted by Blonde Heroines Rule
(April 8, 2013 - 9:27 pm)
@BHR Vague idea for our story conflict:
One of Clover and Dewey's friends gets killed by a vampire, who had to
resort to the guy's blood as a last resort under undecided
circumstances, since he didn't have the animal blood he usually prefers.
Not knowing this justification, Clover and Dewey hunt down the vampire,
and the vampire must convince them he's not really bad (since he
isn't). The vampire convinces Clover and Dewey that he is not a bad guy,
and then they must team up to stop a bigger threat of some sort. At the
end of the story, Clover and Dewey become vampires too, also under
undecided circumstances.
What do you think?
submitted by Joe Dosie Doe, age 14 at last, World's worst funkys
(April 10, 2013 - 4:25 pm)
Huh. I kinda like that! I've never really written anything about
vampires (mostly cause of Twilight, and I really don't want to be caught
up in that rat race). But this is unique! Reminds me of something I saw
on a show once. Like Nicholas Tesla...
submitted by Blonde Heroines Rule
(April 11, 2013 - 12:02 pm)
Now to discuss ideas some more and start writing.
Rodney says gedi. First of all, Rodney, you spell it with a "j", not a "g". Second of all, BHR has never seen Star Wars. I don't hold that against her. She still rules.
submitted by Joe Dosie Doe, age 14, The Great Undoors
(April 15, 2013 - 11:07 am)
(April 15, 2013 - 11:07 am)
Thank you JDD! Awesome putting all our comments together! So, we have our characters and where it's going to take place. But what should we call this world? Hmm. I think if we're going to do a vampire theme, maybe is should be something cool, not something like (well this is just a reference) Andalasia. Though, for the life of me I can't think of anything. Thoughts? And we can start writing whenever, for I'm game for anything!
(April 15, 2013 - 4:31 pm)
I think it should be a land that was once dreadful because of the vampires, and then they defeated and exiled the vampires or something like that.
(April 17, 2013 - 3:02 pm)
Top! Top! Top!
(April 16, 2013 - 1:38 pm)
It should be a pokemon! Lots of pokemon!
(April 16, 2013 - 7:19 pm)
Ooh! Just gets better and better! I like that! So something is threatening the vampires. A bizzare disease, like we suggested earlier? But what should the disease do? And what's causing it?
A world name just popped in my head, and you can totally despise it, just throwing ideas out. Zanoriea.
Thoughts?
(April 17, 2013 - 5:09 pm)
I think Zanoriea should be the name for an evil leader of the vampires. I really like it.
I'd just love to type up the first part of the story RIGHT NOW... but I am so tired of typing... I'm gonna go do something else... Yeesh.
(April 19, 2013 - 10:51 am)
Hmm. I like that too! I agree, Zanoriea should be the name of an evil leader. I'll continue thinking of world names.
(April 19, 2013 - 8:54 pm)
Okay, then. we'll agree on a name for our world then I'll write a first part.
(April 20, 2013 - 8:02 pm)
Hmm. World name... Ideas: Cypris, Daria, Volanda. Sorry, I'm terrible at names.
Cappie suggests poip.
(April 28, 2013 - 5:31 pm)
I haven't forgotten this, JDD! I just really don't have time to write! Nano is literally KILLING ME!!!! And there's a great deal of screaming, though, I think it's all in my head.
(April 28, 2013 - 2:43 pm)
I have come up with the world name Ittalnys. How does it sound?
(April 30, 2013 - 12:57 pm)
La, la, la... Ahh, ahh, ahh, graceful, graceful, ballerina TOPPING...
(April 30, 2013 - 12:46 pm)
Ooh! I like that far better than anything I came up with! Lets name it that! Ittalnys!
Cappie says icat. Either, it's a branch off, like idog. Or Cappie thinks he's a cat. Weird...
(May 1, 2013 - 2:42 pm)
The first part:
PROLOGUE
From the ever-growing History Book of the Daria Palace, written by the ghost of Cypris, Prince and Historian of Ittalnys
Long ago, in the world known as Ittalnys, there was no happiness. Only blood, warm blood, and cold blood (not to mention lukewarm blood), shed by the evil dictator of Ittalnys, The Great Vampire Zanoriea.
Zanoriea was formerly an evil hag, but an evil hag could not do very much but be cranky and disagreeable. One night, a witch placed an enchantment on Zanoriea which made her a beautiful witch, and she made much mischief that disrupted the peace of Ittalnys, but none so serious as to bring serious lasting terror. One night, while strolling out to locate ingredients for a sinister concoction, she was attacked by a vampire, who sucked away all her blood and killed her. She was discovered dead the following morning, and they held her a funeral, which very few people attended as she was not very popular.
Being a vampire, and soone as the moon rose she rose from her grave. She then went and overtook the former king, Volanda, from his throne in the Daria Palace, and imprisoned him in the deepness of Vacuam, as well as killed his son, Prince and Historian Cypris, who continues to author this book and many others after death. Zanoriea led her vampire brethen to victory against the people of Ittalnys, and overtook all. After many years of sadness and bloodshed, the people revolted, and Zanoriea was paralyzed by an injection of her own blood that had once been in her body when she was living, and shoved into Vacuam, which kept all souls inside by means of impossibly unbreakable sorcery.
Afterword, Ittalnys needed a new leader. But the ghost of Cypris was unable to rule as he rightfully should have, as he was dead. So he appointed a new ruler by the name of Lemuel, and the new King ruled them rightfully. But the ghost of Cypris sensed something coming, something beyond anything that could have ever been predicted by any inhabitant of Ittalnys. And then the ghost of Cypris disappeared, which is why the sentence saying he disappeared had to be written by King Lemuel's son, Prince Ephraim, instead of Cypris, as he cannot currently record the history of Ittalnys in this ever-growing book since he has disappeared, so he cannot record his own disappearance. Therefore, during his absence, Prince Ephraim will be Temporary Historian of Ittalnys.
And that was what the book said, in the opening section titled, "History of Zanoriea's tyranny, and all possibly related events."
"Wow," I said. "Nice last sentence."
"Indeed," agreed Prince Ephraim. "I believe it was very ample writing, Mr. Lloyd. Would you like a cup of Pabulum?"
"Yes, thank you," I said, and my friend and I, Clover Mirth, sat to talk with the Prince of Ittalnys.
Sorry, I haven't introduced myself. I'm Dewey Lloyd, Young Warlock in Training and apprentice to Fifth Senoir of the Warlock Council, the wise Haywood.
All right, BHR, you can make revisions to this, or, if you're happy with it, you can post a second part.
(May 3, 2013 - 8:47 pm)
Admin, I had the following text itallcized:
From the ever-growing History Book of the Daria Palace, written by the ghost of Cypris, Prince and Historian of Ittalnys
Long ago, in the world known as Ittalnys, there was no happiness. Only blood, warm blood, and cold blood (not to mention lukewarm blood), shed by the evil dictator of Ittalnys, The Great Vampire Zanoriea.
Zanoriea was formerly an evil hag, but an evil hag could not do very much but be cranky and disagreeable. One night, a witch placed an enchantment on Zanoriea which made her a beautiful witch, and she made much mischief that disrupted the peace of Ittalnys, but none so serious as to bring serious lasting terror. One night, while strolling out to locate ingredients for a sinister concoction, she was attacked by a vampire, who sucked away all her blood and killed her. She was discovered dead the following morning, and they held her a funeral, which very few people attended as she was not very popular.
Being a vampire, and soone as the moon rose she rose from her grave. She then went and overtook the former king, Volanda, from his throne in the Daria Palace, and imprisoned him in the deepness of Vacuam, as well as killed his son, Prince and Historian Cypris, who continues to author this book and many others after death. Zanoriea led her vampire brethen to victory against the people of Ittalnys, and overtook all. After many years of sadness and bloodshed, the people revolted, and Zanoriea was paralyzed by an injection of her own blood that had once been in her body when she was living, and shoved into Vacuam, which kept all souls inside by means of impossibly unbreakable sorcery.
Afterword, Ittalnys needed a new leader. But the ghost of Cypris was unable to rule as he rightfully should have, as he was dead. So he appointed a new ruler by the name of Lemuel, and the new King ruled them rightfully. But the ghost of Cypris sensed something coming, something beyond anything that could have ever been predicted by any inhabitant of Ittalnys. And then the ghost of Cypris disappeared, which is why the sentence saying he disappeared had to be written by King Lemuel's son, Prince Ephraim, instead of Cypris, as he cannot currently record the history of Ittalnys in this ever-growing book since he has disappeared, so he cannot record his own disappearance. Therefore, during his absence, Prince Ephraim will be Temporary Historian of Ittalnys.
Why did you change it, and will you please put it back? Thank you.
(May 4, 2013 - 11:03 am)