EPIC HYPQUESTS!!!

Chatterbox: Inkwell

EPIC HYPQUESTS!!!

EPIC HYPQUESTS!!!

1. What would you do if the chicken dinner drove up to you in a cool slick convertible with rockets that propelled it at 100 MPS (miles per second) and told you, "Get in! There's an audition for the next Rise of the Fried Furies going on in about five minutes and the studio wants you for it!"? (Rise of the Fried Furies is the movie series the chicken dinner got the lead role in after coming to life.)

Say, "Oh, yes! Always wanted to star in a Rise of the Fried Furies movie!" And then get in.

2. What would you do if you woke up in your room and discovered the Scoodlers surrounding you and getting rope to tie you up? (No clue what the heck Scoodlers are? Do a Google search for "read the road to oz online archive".)

I would say, "Uh, didn't the Shaggy Man throw away your heads in The Road to Oz?" Then I'd make THE SIGNAL, and upon me doing so, the chicken dinner would leap out of my closet and use some deep-fried action to attack the Scoodlers and seperate them from their heads, which would zip out the window. After that, he'd take me out of my room and escort me to his awesome convertible with a speed potential of 100 mps (miles per second) and then take me to the studio in Hollywood for filming of the next Rise of the Fried Furies.

3. What would you do if a flying chipmunkey (a cross between a chipmunk and a flying monkey) flew into your kitchen and started raiding the fridge for bananuts (nuts that have banana flesh inside)?

I would tell it to go away, that there were no bananuts around and I wasn't even sure they existed anyway, but if the world has flying chipmunkeys now, then who knows?

4. What would you do if a flying cow with three heads, eleven legs, one mouth, seventeen horns, and half a wing was flying around your garden spitting at the plants in it?

Call Animal Control and ask them, "Do you handle freak cows?"

By the way, I am still welcoming, even encouraging, your own HypQuests! If you have any, please put them in your replies with your answers!

submitted by Joe the Stickfiddler, age 14, Epic HypQuest Vortex
(August 2, 2013 - 1:54 pm)

back to the Inkwell

1. What would you do if the chicken dinner drove up to you in a cool slick convertible with rockets that propelled it at 100 MPS (miles per second) and told you, "Get in! There's an audition for the next Rise of the Fried Furies going on in about five minutes and the studio wants you for it!"? (Rise of the Fried Furies is the movie series the chicken dinner got the lead role in after coming to life.)

I'd say something like, "I'd love to, but I don't know I can trust you. I don't actually know you, and I have no proof that you're actually taking me to audition for this. I don't just get into the car of any stranger who promises nice things."

3. What would you do if a flying chipmunkey (a cross between a chipmunk and a flying monkey) flew into your kitchen and started raiding the fridge for bananuts (nuts that have banana flesh inside)?

Well, I don't suppose I'd know what it was looking for, so I'd shout to my parents (I wouldn't want to have to take my eyes off of it to leave the room) there was a small, flying mammal in the kitchen (that didn't look quite like a flying squirrel, although we do have those around here). I'd suggest that I stay and watch it while she went to get gardening gloves (in case one of us would get bitten trying to capture it) and my butterfly net and also get our dog outside. If I was home alone, I'd get the dog outside and look for the gloves myself and hope it hadn't wrecked things too badly by the time I got back. After catching it, I'd learn how to take DNA samples and such and study it and report the new species/hybrid/whatever it was in a scientific journal.

4. What would you do if a flying cow with three heads, eleven legs, one mouth, seventeen horns, and half a wing was flying around your garden spitting at the plants in it?

I'd wish there was some way to catch it, but I'd know it'd be unrealistic to try to catch that big a flying animals without a roof over it, so I'd ask my mom to go get a camera. If it landed, of course, that would be another thing; my mom wouldn't let me keep something that big, though, so I'd have to sell it to a university or something. (I'd raise the condition that it not be killed).
submitted by Ima
(August 2, 2013 - 3:28 pm)

I would get in.

I would stand up and say , "Greetings, fellow Scoodlers. We have gathered to discuss the shortage of humans to eat. [etc.] " Hopefully that would confuse them and make them forget about wanting to eat me, if they did want to eat me.

I would say, "I would say "Hello, Chipmunkey. Unfortunately I don't have any bananuts but I have bananas and an assortment of nuts if you'd like. And other food too. Please, stay and dine with me."

I would go outside and tell it to go away. I would be holding a baseball bat in a very threatening way, too. 

 

submitted by Daaaaaaaaaaaafodil!, age 12, Home Sweet Home
(August 2, 2013 - 6:05 pm)

Top!

submitted by Ima
(August 2, 2013 - 10:00 pm)

1. Probably say something like "This is my shining moment!" Really dramatically and get in the backseat of the car.

2. I'd fight them with my awesome ninja powers.

3. I'd go buy some bananuts or make some banana nut muffins and make him my little pet.  

4. I would tie him up to a post and then get him a little pen so I could make him my pet, too.

 

 

HypQuest for JtSF:

1. What if you woke up one day and all your shoes had turned into jellybeans in the shape of shoes? 

submitted by Melody, age 15, Disney
(August 3, 2013 - 6:37 am)

I'd think, "Hmm. Well, that's strange." Then eat the jellybean shoes and ask my mom to buy new shoes. What would you do?

submitted by Joe the Stickfiddler, age 14, Jelly Bean Vortex
(August 3, 2013 - 11:56 am)

If they were my purple Converse, I would panic.  Those things are really precious to me.  If it was my boots with the slight heel, I would be all like "There goes $30."  Any other shoes I wouldn't get that upset about because I don't really wear them much, besides my flip flops, which are easily replaceable. 

submitted by Melody, age 15, Disney
(August 3, 2013 - 7:13 pm)

Actually, I didn't see the thing about the speed of the convertible in the first HypQuest. That changes things; I would definitely outright refuse because going that fast would be extremely dangerous even if the chicken dinner was telling the truth, and I don't want to die. Dying at fifteen because I got into a stranger's car is not cool or slick, and I'm even more concerned than I was that everyone who's posted so far has said they would go with the chicken dinner... especially as I'm pretty sure most of you eat meat and would therefore have good reason to believe the chicken dinner wants you dead. (I don't eat any animal products, but I used to, so while it would be really stupid for the chicken dinner to kill people who were vegans when there would be meat-eaters alive because that's not going to stop people from eating meat, which you'd think would be more important to it than revenge, I wouldn't rule out the possibility of a zombie chicken being stupid and choosing revenge before reason, if this sentence isn't too long to make sense).

submitted by Ima
(August 4, 2013 - 12:36 am)

I am a vegetarian; eating meat seems gross.

submitted by Daffodillion dollars
(November 30, 2013 - 2:48 pm)

Follow-up questions:

@Ima: What would you do if, after you caught the flying chipmunkey, its brothers came and declared to you (yes, flying chipmunkeys can talk) that imprisoning one of their species was a great crime and must be properly punished, and then they tied you up and, after freeing the chipmunkey, started setting up a guillotine?

@Melody: What would you do if about a week after you made the chipmunkey and the freak cow your pets, a couple of government agents came and said that you had better hand over the two animals for experimentation in a top-secret lab, the name/location of which they could not say?

submitted by Joe the Stickfiddler, age 14, Follow-up HQ Vortex
(August 4, 2013 - 2:58 pm)

Tell them it's all an illusion, that they're normal animals but I do know of a talking chicken dinner.

 

@Ima

I only said that because I thought we established in past HypQuests that this chicken dinner was friendly.  If I didn't know this chicken dinner, I would probably be freaked out and call for my parents. 

submitted by Melody, age 15, Disney
(August 4, 2013 - 8:19 pm)

1. As much as I'd love to accept the offer, I'm kind of wondering how a chicken can drive. Either they can steer and watch the road, or they can hit the brakes or gas. They can't do both. They're not tall enough. I guess I could try to drive it, but I have no idea how to drive and I'd probably crash into something. 

2. *doesn't feel like looking it up* Say, "Uh, hi? What's going on?" Then direct my ROBOTIC LEMMING ARMY OF AWESOMENESS to attack the Scoodlers. And tie them up. And feed them to the goats. ROBOTIC LEMMING ARMIES OF AWESOMENESS are so useful, aren't they?

3. We don't have any bananuts. All I have are a lovely bunch of coconuts. Here they are standing in a row. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head.

4. Call Agent Alpacachan: "Tenten-chan, do you have room at your house for a new pet?" If it has only half a wing, I think it might crash in the garden and kill my mom's flowers. She wouldn't like that (she's still annoyed at me for the time I tried to behead one of her flowers with a plastic sword) and would probably call Animal Control. 

submitted by Red , age 14, Elsewhere
(August 4, 2013 - 8:34 pm)

Well, the car would be designed so the brakes and gas could be raised higher (as well as the height of the seat) so that the chicken dinner would be able to reach the elevated gas pedals. 

submitted by Joe the Stickfiddler, age 14, Chicken Vortex
(August 7, 2013 - 11:43 am)
submitted by top
(August 6, 2013 - 1:33 pm)