1.What would you do if someone from Cricket (the cell provider not the magazine) came to your door talking about the great family phone sharing plans that Cricket had, and then someone else from Cricket (the magazine not the cell provider) came saying that this person was lying and Cricket made magazines and did not provide cell service to people, and then the two representatives got into a fight over which Cricket was which?

I am so lost... I don't even know. Although I don't have a phone, so I'd probably ignore the first guy and close the door.

2. What would you do if the Lord of the Flies appeared out of nowhere while you were sleeping and presented to you a dog that was so cute your heart melted for it, and then said, "Hi, I have no control over this at all so sorry, but this dog is going to die in forty-eight hours unless you post three million different pictures of it on Pinterest manually in three million different pins, with a different caption every time, within the next twenty-four hours!!!"?

Probably scream like a little girl because the Lord of the Flies would be a terrifying thing to wake up next to.

3. What would you do if Sakura started using a different mouth to eat her "plankton" (pleeeaaase don't ask) every time she took a bite?

That's almost a more terrifying image than the Lord of the Flies. Next!

4. What would you do if David Tennant came up to you in the street with a really weird smile and offered you a lollipop?

Not being able to recognize David Tennant, I would eather run away or chuck the Lord of the Flies at him and then run away.

5. What would you do if you woke up and found that you were in your underwear and then when you went to get dressed, all your clothes had vanished from your closet and dresser and were nowhere to be found in your house?

Wander around in underwear for the rest of the day to annoy those who can see me to no end.

6. What would you do if you were home alone and then the water went out for every single house in your neighborhood except yours, and then moments later there was a really long line of your neighbors at your door that stretched all the way around your block and they said that they'd all gotten an anonymous e-mail saying your water was still working and they all wanted to use your facilities to get a drink or wash their dishes and/or clothes or take a shower or whatever?

Say something like, "Sorry, you must have misheard, that's Ruby's house that has the water." Then run out the back door cackling madly. 

1. What would you do if someone from Cricket (the cell provider not the magazine) came to your door talking about the great family phone sharing plans that Cricket had, and then someone else from Cricket (the magazine not the cell provider) came saying that this person was lying and Cricket made magazines and did not provide cell service to people, and then the two representatives got into a fight over which Cricket was which?

4.What would you do if David Tennant came up to you in the street with a really weird smile and offered you a lollipop?

I'd stand there with my mouth open, ask him if he was really the actor then take the candy and put it on display in my house.

Okey dokey then. Hmm...

1. What would you do if someone from Cricket (the cell provider not the
magazine) came to your door talking about the great family phone sharing
plans that Cricket had, and then someone else from Cricket (the
magazine not the cell provider) came saying that this person was lying
and Cricket made magazines and did not provide cell service to people,
and then the two representatives got into a fight over which Cricket was
which?

Stare for a moment, unsure if I was dreaming or if one of them was actually a serial killer. Then I'd ask for credentials and proof of identification. Then I'd question them both, demanding why they'd chosen me to affront instead of any other lunatic in America, and how they knew where I lived.

2. What would you do if the Lord of Camelot (something to be a lord of)
appeared out of nowhere while you were sleeping and at home by yourself
(your parent or guardian(s) would be at a late night movie) and
presented to you a _____ (animal you really like) grizzly bear that was so cute your
heart melted for it, and then said, "Hi, I have no control over this at
all so sorry, but this grizzly bear (same animal) is going to die in
forty-eight hours unless you post three million different pictures of it
on Pinterest manually in three million different pins, with a different
caption every time, within the next twenty-four hours!!!"?

Get to work and pray my imagination and typing skills wouldn't fail me now. Then I'd hide the bear in my closet, name it Barnabus, and delight for all my days that I finally had a pet brown bear!

 3. What would you do if my mom (a friend or relative you eat with a lot)
started using a different teacup (type of utensil or dish) to eat her
(his or her) taco (food he/she usually eats) every time she (he/she)
took a bite?

Roll with it. My family's weird like that. 

 4. What would you do if David Tennant came up to you in the street with a really weird smile and offered you a lollipop?

First, stare at him, point, and shout, "OHMYGOSH IT'S BARTY CROUCH JR!" Then have the department of health and food safety inspect it to make sure he wasn't trying to kill me. If so, I'd begin to wonder if I was really a wizard and my parents really were hiding my Hogwarts letter, as I'd always suspected. Cause evidently, a famous dark wizard wouldn't come trying to kill me unless I was important in the wizarding world. The blonde, female, Harry Potter!

 5. What would you do if you woke up and found that you were in your
underwear and then when you went to get dressed, all your clothes had
vanished from your closet and dresser and were nowhere to be found in
your house?

I have actually woken up (in my pjs thank goodness) to discover my clothing stolen. So I would yank open my door, and scream out a series of un-ladylike threats that whoever decided it would be funny to steal my clothes would regret it dearly, and they best be returned within the next five second. Being as they likely wouldn't be, I would then proceed to go and check my secret reserve of clothes or attempt my mom's clothing. Then, and believe me I would, make them pay with a series of pranks involving tampering with the water heater, vinegar and coffee, and a cold bath at 1am. 

6. What would you do if you were home alone and then the water went out
for every single house in your neighborhood except yours, and then
moments later there was a really long line of your neighbors at your
door that stretched all the way around your block and they said that
they'd all gotten an anonymous e-mail saying your water was still
working and they all wanted to use your facilities to get a drink or
wash their dishes and/or clothes or take a shower or whatever? 

Grab my bat, frying pan, or broom (whichever was handiest), and assume a defensive postion in the front door. I would then proceed to tell them to beat it or else, being as this was private property, and by law, I could call the police and have them removed. Or, if I felt threatened, I could just do it myself. (Which would be infinitely more fun!) I would then direct them to the hose, saying if they needed a drink, there you go. Otherwise, there is such a thing as checking into a hotel. If all else failed, I would scream like a banshee and threaten to poison the last water system available. I'm sure at least one of these would work. Then I'd find the (I shall not say) who sent the email, grab him/her around the throat, give them a good shake, and wack them upside the head with whatever intrument I had grabbed previously for good measure. 

Secretly, in case you couldn't tell, I'm a very violent, semi demented, very deranged human being. 

Cappie thinks I'm delusional. NO I am not delusional! Good grief, Cappie, I almost fell off my unicorn.

1. What would you do if someone from Cricket (the cell provider not the magazine) came to your door talking about the great family phone sharing plans that Cricket had, and then someone else from Cricket (the magazine not the cell provider) came saying that this person was lying and Cricket made magazines and did not provide cell service to people, and then the two representatives got into a fight over which Cricket was which?

I would just be irritated, really. My family is on an AT&T plan, so I would be unable to gain anything from talking to this salesperson. The argument wouldn't even be all that amusing for me. I'd just slam the door on them.

2. What would you do if the Lord of Heck appeared out of nowhere while you were sleeping and at home by yourself (your parent or guardian(s) would be at a late night movie) and presented to you Brikena*, and then said, "Hi, I have no control over this at all so sorry, but this person is going to die in forty-eight hours unless you post three million different pictures of them on Pinterest manually in three million different pins, with a different caption every time, within the next twenty-four hours!!!"? 
* I don't like animals, so I substituted in a friend's name.

I'd do it, of course!! Brikena is my best friend. I don't think it would be all that pleasant to live without her.

3. What would you do if your father started using a different fork to eat his eggs every time _____ (he/she) took a bite?

I'd probably make some sort of snarky comment about, "gee, for a teacher, you sure are going to rack up a huge water bill with all of the silverware you're using."

4. What would you do if David Tennant came up to you in the street with a really weird smile and offered you a lollipop?

I mean, at first I'd be all "ermegerd it's David Tennant" but... Actually, no. The weird smile would make me think it was a kidnapper using Polyjuice Potion or something along those lines. So basically, RUN! 

5. What would you do if you woke up and found that you were in your underwear and then when you went to get dressed, all your clothes had vanished from your closet and dresser and were nowhere to be found in your house?

I would check my sister's room. She's a couple sizes bigger than me, but I could make it work, probably.

6. What would you do if you were home alone and then the water went out for every single house in your neighborhood except yours, and then moments later there was a really long line of your neighbors at your door that stretched all the way around your block and they said that they'd all gotten an anonymous e-mail saying your water was still working and they all wanted to use your facilities to get a drink or wash their dishes and/or clothes or take a shower or whatever?

First, call the city water department. Then, lock the door, barricade the windows, and RUNRUNRUN out from the screen porch and into the (small) woods behind my house.