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When January Calls
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When January Calls
When January Calls (working title)
I have wanted to do this for a while, and being bored I shall begin.
This is not an RRR, mind, but a story that I will write and post in segments on here, a bit like the Books in Progress thread. Critique is welcome and encouraged, blatant praise will be reluctantly excepted, flaming will probably be deleted by the Admin anyway.
*******
On cold, blustery winter days when the snow falls thickly down in wet, wide flakes and the wind stirs across the ground like a snake in the dessert, and the streets are lit by a dim blue-gray light that emanates from the shadows, a sleepy town in the middle of nowhere is visited by a young man with frosty breath and icy fingers.
He is a good-tempered young man, mild-mannered and prone to stretches of contemplative silence. He speaks with his hands as often as he speaks with his voice, and is known to spend long hours in pastures with horses and sheep.
This man is tall, and very thin, and the tips of his fingers hang almost to his knees. He has a long, pointed face and a mess of blue-white hair that grows like a thistle on the top of his head. His eyes are large and blue like the sea; his skin is pale and blue like glacial ice. He has long pointed ears and a long pointed nose and an even longer pointed chin. His lips are turned up in pleasant smile and his teeth are straight and white.
He's a clever fellow, this man. He speaks softly and infrequently. His voice is rough but pleasant, like the sound of wind blowing gently through autum leaves.
To strangers he is courteous but distant and vague; to the few he counts as friends he is only slightly less distant and just as corteous.
He has no job, choosing instead to wander from town to town, beginning his lonely patrol when the leaves begin to brown and ending it when the first flowers bloom.
It is in the harshest month of winter that he visits Montaview.
*******
Like? No like?
submitted by TNÖ, age 15, Deep Space
(March 7, 2009 - 12:19 am)
(March 7, 2009 - 12:19 am)
Jack stands on a boulder, his eyes searching the windy plain before him. His hands rest loosely in his pockets and the wind stirs his thistly hair. His back is perfectly straight and his shoulders are tense. The town is behind him, mourning the loss of the child who is not a child.
The sounds of snuffling catch Jack's attention and he leaps off the boulder to investigate.
He sees a girl-shape, half buried in the snow but undoubtedly untouched by the cold. She is very small and very thin, with wide, scared brown eyes. Her arms are wrapped around her knees and she stares straight ahead across the snow.
Jack kneels and pulls the girl out of the snowbank. "Jenny?" he asks.
The girl sniffles in response and nods. "I want to go home," she says. "To momma."
Pity stirs in Jack's heart for the first time in centuries, but his face remains impassive. "You can't," he says very gently. "They think you are dead. They will know you are a changeling if you go back. They will kill you."
"Why?" asks the child.
"Because they are afraid," murmurs Jack, his eyes staring up at the sun...
(March 12, 2009 - 7:16 pm)
DOWNRIGHT AMAZING. It's as good as--better than some--anything you'd see in Barnes and Noble or the library. Keep posting; I'm on the edge of my seat. :)
(March 13, 2009 - 7:25 pm)
I AGREE W/MARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*sits in front of computer and stares through it at TNO*
*waits*
* and waits *
*until TNO posts more*
(March 14, 2009 - 7:26 pm)
"Afraid?" asks the girl.
"They fear what they cannot see," says Jack. He pats the girl's shoulder, brushing at the clinging shards of ice that determinedly clutch at the coarse wools she is wearing. "And they fear what they cannot understand."
He takes the child's hand, and helps her to her feet.
"Then where will we go?" asks Jenny.
Jack takes a deep breath, and stares straight ahead with a frown. "We go home."
"But you said--"
"Not to yours," he clarifies hastily. "To mine."
(March 14, 2009 - 7:06 pm)
The suspense is unbearable!
(March 14, 2009 - 8:36 pm)
It's really interesting. It's not too fast, not too slow. Jack Frost is portrayed perfectly. Mmm . . . maybe just a bit more about body movement? You know: widened eyes, tightening of lips, shuffling of feet . . . ?
(March 15, 2009 - 12:01 am)
Thank you.
(March 15, 2009 - 1:43 pm)
Jack's home is an impressive structure, half underground and built of snow and ice. The rooms are lit with an eerie bluish light, and the air is chilled and dry. It sprawls for nearly a kilometer beneath the ice in the frozen reaches of the north.
The girl had fallen asleep during the long journey; she awakes now, roused from her slumber by a deep, booming voice.
"Jack Frost!" A large, barrel-chested man throws back the door and moves as if to hug Jack. Jack steps back hastily, and the man lets his arms fall back, unperturbed. "Been awhile since I saw your sorry mug about, Jack," says the man.
"For good reason," says Jack coldly.
The man shrugs. "Who's the girl?" he asks. "Changeling?"
"Yes," says Jack.
"Treasure trove of information you are," grumbles the man, pulling Jack inside, the girl along with him.
"I do my best," says Jack.
(March 15, 2009 - 1:52 pm)
Go on, go on! :)
(March 15, 2009 - 5:29 pm)
It's so GOOD!
(March 15, 2009 - 7:01 pm)
Post more or I will bake a banana cream pie and throw it at you!!!
(March 16, 2009 - 6:21 pm)
Gah, brain is frazzled by biology project. *headdesk*
Anyhoo.
*******
"What do you intend to do about her, then?" asks the man. "The fey won't want her back."
"I'm aware of that," says Jack tightly. "But what was I to do? Let her die?"
"You're not the type to suffer merciful impulses," says the man.
"It happens on occasion," says Jack, his lips barely moving.
"Um," Jenny begins.
"He won't be happy," says the man.
"He's never happy," replies Jack calmly.
"Your funeral," says the man with a shrug, as he opens a giant door of ice.
(March 16, 2009 - 9:49 pm)
Fey? Like in The Star Shard?
(March 17, 2009 - 4:14 pm)
Fey, as in Fay or Fairy or Fair Folk or various other names for those pesky creatures. Fey is just my favorite of the terms.
What's "The Star Shard"?
"The Star Shard" is a fantastic story that's been serialized in Cricket for the past year. You can find all the past episodes on our Web site. It's probably the most popular story Cricket has ever had!
Old Cricket
(March 17, 2009 - 6:22 pm)
The girl gasps as her eyes adjust to a burst of light.
It is a long cavern, carved from marvelous clear ice. Dim blue light is magnified by slick icy pillars, casting clear, brilliant blue light from floor to the vaulted ceiling.
At the head of the cavern is a raised dais, upon which sits a magnificent throne. The throne is not of ice, but crystal, and it seems to radiate a silvery light of its own.
The being that perches in the throne is far from magnificent, however. He is an old, twisted man with a long, shaggy beard that coils around his knees. He is bent nearly double in the throne, leaning heavily on one of the arms. His bulbous red nose sniffs vigorously at the air, and he squints with tiny black eyes.
Jenny clutches at Jack's hand, her eyes wide with fright.
Jack takes a deep breath, calming himself. "Hello, Father."
(March 17, 2009 - 10:20 pm)