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Hello everyone, it has been a very long time since I have been on the Chatterbox. 2 or more years, I think. Anyways, I am back once again in need of suggestions for writing.
I am working on a new book which will most likely be called The End's War. The basic storyline for this book is based around a corrupt government in 2040. The US government is taking teens from ages 12-18 that they believe are intelligent, strong, and even mentally unstable. They then take these kids - half a million - and put them in the Academy. This academy puts the teens in separate Sectors depending on skills, and they are raised as an army. But, there is a catch that few people know of. Some teens are going missing. The reality why is because they are doing human experiments, trying to Soul Bind teens inanimate objects, creating an immortal army. When one kid figures the base of this out, he attempts "murder" of another sector member, to be put on trial. This way he can go against the government and Academy on what he has discovered. A friend of this student defends him during the trial, and is discovered missing the next day - to be tested on for the Soul Binding practices.
This is the basis of the story, but I am stuck. I have 4 main characters, and I am only on chapter 2 so far. But for later on I want more characters with deeper personalities, some hardened by the Academy's ways, some still new. Does anyone have good names and personalities? So far there is for names: William (Will), Cassandra (Cass), Lee, and Peter.
Thanks everyone!
submitted by Ashlee G., age 15, Someplace in the World
(June 28, 2016 - 11:56 am)
(June 28, 2016 - 11:56 am)
I forgot to add a form to make it easier:
Character Name:
Appearance (detail):
Personality (detail):
Nickname(s) (if any):
Age:
Goals for life (optional):
Here is the form for one of my main characters:
Character Name: Cassandra Sispick
Appearance (detail):
Personality (detail): A math nerd, intelligent, often pessimistic, wallflower, protective, and thinks like a philosopher, always questioning life.
Nickname(s) (if any): Goes by Cass
Age:15
Goals for life (optional): Before the End's War, she wanted a normal life, and most likely go on to a science or math degree. Although now, she wants to protect her brother Will and her friend Peter from the dangers of the Academy.
Thank you to everyone who is willing to give suggestions! This form is not needed, but it can make it easier.
(June 28, 2016 - 1:06 pm)
Top master
(June 28, 2016 - 9:06 pm)
Top Master returns
(June 29, 2016 - 10:10 am)
Top again
(June 29, 2016 - 12:45 pm)
Your story idea is great! I love it!
Character Name: Madeline Painter
Appearance (detail): Curly red hair, pale skin, freckles- ALOT of them, tall, green eyes, braces (with turquoise rubber bands), wears contact lenses, generally likes to dress casually, (eg. striped t-shirt, skinny jeans, and Converse shoes)
Personality (detail): Spunky and bold; she loves theater and wants to perform on Broadway (does it still exist in 2040?) naive, trusting, good listener, talks alot
Nickname(s) (if any): Maddie
Age: 13
Other(I'm putting this instead- it's kinda important): Maddie is mostly oblivious to what's happening. Her parents told her that she was going to a theater school and she believed them(they're working for the government) She's good friends with Cass, and looks up to her as an older sister ( would that be okay?)
(June 29, 2016 - 6:19 pm)
Thank you, September! I was afraid no one was going to write any character suggestions. It is good you added the "Other" spot. That would be helpful. And I do think I can add her in as Cass's close friend as well. Because as of now in her hometown (Seattle), she only has one close friend, Peter. Not to mention her brother, Will. Then on the run from the Academy, Will, Peter, and her find this crazy twelve-year-old girl named Lee who thinks the world is ending and that it is good. And at the Academy, she meets about 3 more kids she gets pretty close to. So yes, I will add Maddie in for sure. Thank you for the suggestion!
(June 30, 2016 - 10:06 am)
First of all, sounds pretty like an awesome premise so far!
Secondly, I would suggest giving your character who questions the system a personal reason to question it (Unless, of course, you already have). A reason that would make him go as far as he does, risking, I am assuming, life and limb for the possibility of changing/stopping the practice. Also, think hard, why does he have to commit a crime in order to be heard and to call out the institution? Would there be a different way to go about this? Would he actually have a chance against the system, or would they just get rid of him quietly? How does he prove concrete evidence?
For characters, I like to give them a physical appearance before I try to figure out their personalities, for me the personalities flow from them after that. One piece of advice that I have heard for characters is to let them tell you about themselves, try not to force too much on them, let their true personality show through. This will help make the characters more real to you and your readers.
(June 29, 2016 - 10:45 pm)
Yes, I agree, Merenwe, thank you! As for what you have suggested, I have worked to think some of that through. So Will, Peter, and Cass are the biggest deniers of the System. Although, it is Peter who steps up to be put on trial. His most personal reason for being so strongly against the System is because of Cass. They have been close friends since Kindergarten, and he refuses to see her get hurt in any way. Although he also feels that if the US government makes the Army (he does not know about Soul Binding or the experiments at first), they will be taking the lives away of millions, and ruining what the US has stood for numerous generations. Other than that, I am trying to find more on the big why, as you suggested.
As for your next part, I am sort of lost on that. I understand what you mean, but I can't decide why. See, this might be ironic, but he tries to shoot Cass during the Ranking Ceremony. That is the murder he planned. If it was not for Will pushing her to the ground, she would have died. Peter falls under the category of mentally unstable, for what the government wanted for the Army. He is a danger to the community, therefore their best asset. But why attempted murder of his best friend? I haven't figured that part out yet. When the idea came to me, there was no real explanation. All I could say was: Well Cass supported the idea of the Academy because she never knew what they were actually doing. She never knew they were becoming an Army. Due to this, Peter tried killing her. Cass was their best recruit, and beyond imaginable on logic and intelligence. Again, their best recruit.
I do have to think about that part though, for Peter. I have a lot of things to think about for this story. As for the appearances and questions for characters, I am working on that as of now. With an old series I did (have not finished yet, sadly), The Hero's Prophecy, I made artwork of scenes and characters constantly. For this, I haven't yet.
Again, I thank you for the suggestions. I have so much to work on with this story, but it seems so far away. As if I'll never get much done. But I will try, nonetheless.
(June 30, 2016 - 10:21 am)
TOP
(June 30, 2016 - 2:25 am)
TOP
(June 30, 2016 - 1:31 pm)
Top Master Returns
(June 30, 2016 - 6:06 pm)
I hope you don't mind if I do another!
Character Name: Charlotte Casey
Appearance: Medium length blond hair, blue eyes, considered pretty, wears dark brown cat’s eye glasses,
Personality: Shy, hates crowds, has synthesis, smart, has a few close friends
Nicknames: She refuses to go by a nickname
Age: 18
Other: She knows exactly what’s going on, but she doesn’t have the courage to speak up
(June 30, 2016 - 7:01 pm)
Thank you, September! I never saw this comment until today. I love the character, and will work to add her in as well.
(July 6, 2016 - 2:40 pm)
Oooh! This sounds like a really cool idea! So is this basically like dystopian fiction? Like there's going to be a rebellion and all that? COOL!
Here's a charrie that is probably new the the Academy and all it's ways. She'll probably be a minor charrie?
Name: Annalisa Ellizane
Age: 12
Appearance: Wavy, brown hair halfway down her back, wide, innocent hazel eyes, a rosy blush to her cheeks. Lots of times seen with a smile on her face.
Personality: Sweet, loyal, brave in her own way. Almost always cheerful and with a smile on her face. Likes to cheer people up. When it comes to fighting, though, she doesn't like to kill, but when captured and even tortured, she will keep her mouth shut till the very end.
Nicknames: Maybe Anna or Lisa by close friends and relatives.
Goals for life: To survive the war and live a happy life with her family. For everyone to be happy and for the bad things the government is doing to STOP.
Other: I think it would be a good idea if the main charries notice her a bit when they are at the Academy, then see her again on their side when the war happens and everything, then for the main charries to see her die. But this is your story and you don't have to take my suggestions.
It would be really cool if you made this into a RP! Its' a GREAT idea! I might do more charries later.
(June 30, 2016 - 7:52 pm)
Thank you so much,Alexandra! I love your charrie idea, and Annalisa will be in the story, no doubt. For some odd reason, I have a hard time creating unique characters, so this will help a lot. I love her personality for the story. Also, I think your Other Suggestions are really good too. So yes, I will have her as a more secondary charrie in the Academy. I haven't decided if it will be a series or not. If it will (most likely it will) then I will have Annalisa in the battle, and die a horrible, sad death. Because in the Academy, you are forced to follow their rules. They treat you so great many don't know they are become an Army. But then...
Well, let's dig Annalisa's grave... RIP
(But she'll live for a long while, don't worry. I will even have the main charries have her funeral).
(July 1, 2016 - 10:08 am)