ExperienceWh

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ExperienceWh

Experience

When writing, personal experience is something important to draw upon... but unfortunately such experience is not always available. Therefore, this thread is for anyone who is afraid of wrongly portraying something, needs more firsthand information on a subject, etc., etc. Just post what you're looking for, and hopefully someone will have some advice.

I'll start... maybe if I ask on a different thread I'll get an answer... ;)

'Kay, so, there's this cynical and bitter main character of mine (thank you, TNO, umlaut) whose family is moving to a different state. She has two elder siblings and two younger siblings, and is 10.75 years old. She's not the most... optimistic... or polite... and enjoys composing music and reading (preferably classic literature-type novels). And because of a) the move, b) a new baby, and c) the main character's "attitude problems," the family is undergoing counseling. What do psychiatrists behave like, how do they usually look, and what exactly is the procedure like? Does anyone know, or shall I begin creeping out my *normal* friends with random questions (and we're already in a fight... *rambles about complicated/pitiful social life*)

Anyone have answers, or writing problems of their own?

My threads never seem to last, though, so post while you can. ;)

submitted by Mary W., age 11.35, NJ
(May 18, 2009 - 6:43 pm)

Well, when I was 11, Mom made us all do family counseling to correct my "social problems."

The therapist, Gail whose-last-name-escapes-me, was kinda tall, skinny, had two kids of her own and short curly brown hair. Basically, I went to see her on my own once every two weeks, and Mom and Dad had sessions that I didn't attend.

For me, there was something called "play therapy" which involved building landscapes in a box of wet sand using random plastic toys. I would build something random for fun and then Gail would ask me to "interpret it." I would then think, "uh... there was supposed to be a deeper meaning?" and make up something off the top of my head. She would take a picture of the sandbox and put it in my file. She also made me fill out these questionnaire things, which basically had questions like,

"On a scale of 1 to five, how would you rate your communication skills between yourself and your peers? Explain."

or whatever, and I'd answer and Gail would get a copy of the questionnaire and put it in my file.

We also spent a lot of time talking about my "feelings" and my "social abilities," which really means Gail would talk, try to get me to respond, and fail utterly because I'd gotten bored, been distracted, and tuned out the "conversation."

I had to go to a couple of sessions with Mom and Dad, too, which were mostly comprised of me fiddling with the sandbox and Gail, Mom, and Dad talking about my lack of interest in social gatherings and Mom worrying about how I didn't have enough friends. (I had plenty of friends, FYI. Three's company, that sort of thing.) I think they might've asked me some questions, but I basically figured out what they wanted to hear and gave them that so they'd leave me alone.

The overall gist of the almost-a-year of family counseling: The sandbox was the best part, although Gail was nice, I guess.

I don't know if this is standard, however. This is just my personal experience. 

submitted by TNÖ, age 15, Deep Space
(May 18, 2009 - 9:16 pm)

*cookies* Thank you! That was incredibly helpful. Very. Very. Helpful.

(By this point I don't really care whether it's standard or not; as long as it's believable it will work.)

And now I can go work on my story again... yippee! *smiles*

submitted by Mary W., age 11.35, NJ
(May 20, 2009 - 6:41 pm)

A few years ago we went to family counsiling, but I don't know where they got  the word "family" from becaause basically the therapist took my parents into a room in her office, locked the door and talked in secret with them while my brother and I watched old movies. At the end of each session she gave me and my brother a little prize for being such good couch potatoes. I tried to listen in on their secret conversation one time but I couldn't hear anything.

submitted by Adina, age 12, Mostly in fanta
(May 21, 2009 - 3:52 pm)

Thank you. That was interesting.

submitted by Mary W., age 11.35, NJ
(May 22, 2009 - 3:35 pm)

Umm, I did counseling when I was little. There was this lady named...uhhh....wellll...I can't remember right now, but I don't think that matters too much. Anyway, I talked about things I was scared of....like flushing the toilet at night and ghosts (remember, I was really little!!). There were a ton of little random toys that I used. I used them in a large container of sand...kinda like a mini sandbox. I made these stories about them (I believe they involved a poor family and a rich family and some animals and maybe a few birthday parties). Then she wrote down the story and took a pic of it. She also had this whole thing when she talked to me about being overwhelmed. There was this scale of like one to five on my stress level. She gave me different situations and I had to say what number it was. If it was 5 or higher, my "bucket was full." I was supposed to go up to my mom when that happened at home and stuff and say "My bucket's full." Even as a little kid I was too embarrassed to ever say that. Hope this helps.......

~Emma O. :D :D :D :D 

submitted by Emma O.
(May 22, 2009 - 10:40 pm)

It does help! Thank you! This is all extremely helpful!

So the sandbox method seems to be common for children... /rambling to self/

submitted by Mary W., age 11.35, NJ
(May 23, 2009 - 12:11 pm)

The term, I believe, is "play therapy".

submitted by TNÖ, age 15, Deep Space
(May 24, 2009 - 12:32 pm)

Oh, yeah, the bucket thing reminded me- Gail tried to get me to find a "comfort object" that I could carry in my pocket and touch when I felt "overwhelmed" (they like that word don't they), and she told me to tell myself "positive things". ...Mom kept asking me if I had my "comfort object" with me and I'd be like, "sure, mom [pulls a pencil out of pocket in order to avoid Excessive Yelling] see?" 

Of course for me this kind of backfired; I was a very cynical sixth grader, and I hated to be praised (that's still the case, I prefer criticism to flames to praise), so whenever I tried to do what she said and tell myself things like "I'm great" I'd actually be thinking something like "uh-huh which is why mom thinks I'm 'abnormal' and I need a shrink". (yes, she actually said- many times- that there was "something wrong" and I needed to be "more social" and "less stressed" (I wasn't stressed. I just didn't- don't- like the idiots at my school. I also didn't like to answer stupid questions and I hated it when people (such as my teachers) kept asking me if I was 'ok' during allergy season (they mistook the tears from the pollen in the air for tears of an emotional sort) and being all, 'do you need to go see the counselor?' AFTER I told them about a hundred times, 'no, it's the pollen in the air. dad gets it too.')

I think I'm rambling now... :\ sorry. 

submitted by TNÖ, age 15, Deep Space
(May 24, 2009 - 12:51 pm)

It's fine! You're being very helpful... and rambling is okay... *rambles about rambling*

Now "rambling" doesn't even sound like a word anymore... and I need to stop before I begin doing it... more...

Yes, good bye, seriously.

**If Lena is reading this, that's five ellipses. ;)

submitted by Mary W., age 11.35, NJ
(May 24, 2009 - 4:05 pm)