Okay, this is

Chatterbox: Inkwell

Okay, this is

Okay, this is just something i wrote. it's a little sappy, so i think it's more something a girl would like. But it has a surprise ending.

And he came with a dozen roses clutched tightly in his fist, striding past the heavy wrought iron gates that kept them apart. he marched fearlessly through the whispering overgrown grass, weaving between the smooth gray stones scattered around the place. they had not been apart for very long, but the ominous storm clouds acted as a melacholy shroud to mask the pain he felt without her. Then, he found her, beneath the familiar williow tree where they had played recklessly as children, where they had first fallen in love, where he had recently promised to marry her. he recalled the brilliant way the light had shone on her face that day, the glorious face he couldn't bear to be without. he thought about her voice, musical and soft, and he whispered her name beneath his shallow breathing. And suddenly, the clouds burst and the rain began to fall. But whether the drops on his face were teardrops or raindrops, he himself didn't know. So he placed the bouquet of roses on the green belly of her freshly dug grave, and fled the cemetery with a heavy heart longing only for her. 

Sorry if its long, Admin.

submitted by Katie, age 11, Missouri
(July 31, 2009 - 4:10 pm)

I like that, Katie! Especially the surprise at the end, which is unexpected. Thumbs up. :)

submitted by Allison
(August 1, 2009 - 8:54 am)

That's excellent. I didn't think it was sappy at all. Keep up the beautiful work!

submitted by Mary W., age 11.66, NJ
(August 15, 2009 - 10:05 am)