Hi, everyone! I'm

Chatterbox: Inkwell

Hi, everyone! I'm

Hi, everyone! I'm currently working on a short-ish story and I wanted to share with you guys. It's about camp. It's written a bit oddly. It's sort of (well, it is) poetry. Anyway it's really weird but I'm trying something new and I wanted to see what you guys thought. I have the first part right here and there will be more parts coming. I'd love to get some critique and your opinion. Thank you so much for reading! 

Almost time, rushing to pack, to stuff everything into the nearly overflowing suitcase, grab the basic-colored blue sleeping bag.  

Almost slamming the door, rushing to the car, nerves tip-tapping, bubbling up like a fizzy soda someone shook, shook. 

Heart racing, even though it isn’t a fight or flight suitation. Yet. It’s only camp, it’s only camp, but what does only camp even mean? 

Silence, scenery whirling past, river trickling over rocks, trees swaying. Calm. 

Pulling in to park, climbing out, gripping the suitcase a little too tight. Standing in line, old faces blending with new. 

Line moving ever so slowly, nerves stills racing but like the line, much slower than before. 

There, cramped freedom, walking, looking, remembering, the familiarity like a hand on the heart. Walk through, new face, old faces, hope spreading.

Sunlight shimmering, or is it a smile, or the glow of being remembered?

Scanning the room, top bunk by the back door, open. Blue sheet pulled onto the mattress, sleeping bag neat, stuffed animal by the pillow. Simple, comforting. 

Sitting, knees to chest, toes stretching, rocking back and forth ever so slightly. 

Awkward talk, silence, ice on the pond, easy to break, yet so hard. Easy to feel alone with people. 

Saved by the bell, maybe not? Awkward susnshine streaming, an awkward converstation illuminating uncertainties.         

A circle, laughter, alone, an invitation, feeling in. In. In, in, IN, if only for a moment. 

Human knot, like the storm inside, twisted and tangled, never quite solved right. 

Music together, remembering forgotten memories, stored away, now awake and laughing, dancing. 

Noises, clenching fists, biting nails, alone. Not in, In, IN! OUT, Out, out. 

Lights off, lights OUT, Out, out. No dreams, just black, sleepy silence. Alone. 

submitted by Leo
(July 29, 2019 - 7:59 pm)

That's so cool! I can totally identify with that. All of it, actually. I just got back from camp and it was... interesting...

I really like your writing! 

submitted by Kitten, Pondering
(July 29, 2019 - 10:26 pm)

Oh thank you so much, Kitten! I'm sorry you identified with all that. Cause that's not really fun. Thank you for support, though. 

submitted by Leo
(July 30, 2019 - 6:15 pm)
submitted by Top
(July 30, 2019 - 9:09 am)

that's so good that's so good that's so good

Maybe less adjectives in the first paragraph. Line? Verse? Paragraph? I don't know.

There should be a word for these half-prose half poetry things. I feel like I'd be better at them then poetry, cuz of the rythym and stuff, or prose, because I always get super fancy descriptive and . . . .yeah.

Am I even using the word prose right?! 

submitted by spiffycat, age 12
(July 30, 2019 - 7:34 pm)