Ok, so I

Chatterbox: Inkwell

Ok, so I

Ok, so I decided to try my hand at a poem since everyone is posting their poems. I came up with this when I was jumping into a pool this past weekend. Copyrighted by me. :) Thoughts? Comments? Hate?

 

A splash of energy

Soaring head over heels

Bubbles burst into millions

A sea of glimmering stones

World above a colorful swirl

Feet float up

Upside down

I pop up to the

Surface

 

It doesn't really make sense unless you've jumped into a pool doing a cannon-ball and falling into the water on your back, I guess. That's when my feet pop up. :)

 

submitted by Ema, age 11, NY
(August 19, 2009 - 1:34 pm)

back to the Inkwell

Didn't that hurt??? I like it!

submitted by Clair, age '12', NE
(August 19, 2009 - 3:02 pm)

It only hurts if you do a belly flop. :) And thanks!

submitted by Ema, age 11, NY
(August 20, 2009 - 9:57 am)

I like it to! Oh! It just gave me an idea! Ooooh! Gotta go make a post thingy! When I do and you see it, make sure you post it!

submitted by Emma O.
(August 20, 2009 - 12:33 pm)

Yep!

submitted by Clair, age '12', NE
(August 20, 2009 - 1:10 pm)

It's really nice. I like the simple style.

submitted by Mary W., age 11.69, NJ
(August 20, 2009 - 1:22 pm)

Describes it pretty well, Ema. I don't like the word energy in the first line - I feel like it is too choppy. And the only other thing I would change is maybe replace "I pop up" with just "Popping." It feels better somehow. You did capture the feeling well. I like the fourth line especially. And the fifth line. It is fun to look at something outside the pool from under water. Good job!

 

-EH

submitted by Emily H. :), age 13, Sparks, NV
(August 20, 2009 - 2:29 pm)

Thanks! I`ll try to find your post, Emma O.

submitted by Ema, age 11, NY
(August 21, 2009 - 3:15 pm)

It's a really nice, simple poem! :)

submitted by Lena
(August 21, 2009 - 5:05 pm)