Bored indeed... That's quite an endeavour.

But yes, it's very good. I like it a lot. (Definitely did a bit for the very bad day I'm having...) And morbid's fine... The prologue is a grand improvement on the rather flimsy "ooh-I'm-going-to-die" bit in the real thing... If I didn't know better I wouldn't associate it with the sparklepires at all. (a good thing)

It's a pity that the admin can't post the actual rewrite D: ...Is that because of copyrights and such, admin, or what?

...Um, I think you forgot the word "hair" in the second paragraph?

The main reason is that we can't post a whole novel on CB. But this doesn't mean she should stop writing it--sounds like it's going to be good!

--Admin

Wow. Sounds like your teachers don't assign enough homework. (Jk. Last summer, I read through the Q volume of our encyclopedia for nearly a week because I couldn't find a good book to read. I'm considering finishing it - it was actually one of the most interesting things I've ever read.) Seeing as how I've never read any of the Twilight books nor seen the movies, I can't compare it, but it seems good so far. I don't like the word occupant in general - it's awkward feeling and seems a bit desperate, like you're groping for a word, but that's my only issue.

-EH

So, yeah, as I said before, chuck Twilight. I'm writing my own vampire story. Don't expect the same names, kay? 

Here's some more (written last night at about ten and not proof-read, so if there's typos let me know):

The sun went down, and darkness settled in with a definite air of finality. A damp, rainy taste punctuated the air. A black-hooded figure darted out of an unlit doorway and into the street.

Artificial light flared to life and puddles of orange light dribbled onto the pavement. Overhead, storm clouds growled a threat.

The hooded figure slowed as she reached the outer edge of one of the dim orange circles. A moment’s hesitation and she skirted around it, sticking close to the shadows.

A grey car flashed around a corner and onto the street. Its headlights briefly illuminated the figure, who screeched flung herself into the shadows.

The car passed by. The figure waited to a count of sixty before rising slowly to her feet.

She glanced wildly around, tilting her head wildly in hopes of hearing any more speeding threats. Detecting no danger, she half-skipped into a graceful run and disappeared through the shadows.

Xavier paced. He stopped for a while to try tapping his foot, but quickly went back to pacing. He folded and unfolded his arms, bit at his lip, and sped up. 

When none of this worked he sat down abruptly in a giant marble throne and drummed his fingers on its arm. A few seconds later, however, he let out a snarl of disgust and jerked to his feet to resume pacing.

His brother watched on with a thin smile of amusement. Alan had spent nearly two centuries developing the skill to wait patiently, and hardly a day went by that he didn’t regret it.

“Patience is a virtue, brother,” Alan said quietly.

“She should have been back by now!” Xavier replied, his voice a dangerous hiss.

Alan merely spread his hands in a helpless gesture and leaned back in his stone chair. “Margaret is very capable, I grant you, but she is young. Delicate, still.”

“You think she failed?”

This was met with a chuckle. “I think she waited for the sun to go down.”

Xavier scowled and returned to his pacing.

Alan continued, “It will be several decades before she is strong enough to bear the light. You mustn’t push her before she is ready; it will only lead to trouble.”

“I suppose,” Xavier muttered.

“She will be here.” Confidence clutched at every syllable.

HAHA! Me likes! No, correction me *loves*. You have just become my hero :D *grins*

Even though I *liked* Twilight, this should be better, if not much better, than it. By the way, I saw the trailer for New Moon when I was watching the VMA's, which I plan to make a thread on.