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I'm writing a story (and it is a rather good story, if I do say so myself), but I'm afraid that my MC is becoming a Mary Sue!
She's fourteen years old, very tall (almost six feet), has light brown skin that doesn't pimple, her hair is purple-black (like a raven's wing), her eyes are sort of maroonish, and her ears are slightly pointed, and she is an amazing fencer, all of which are absolutely necessary to the story! Unfortunately, these features make her nearly perfect. Nobody--well, almost nobody--including myself likes to read about perfect people *coughcougheragoncough*, so how can I change this?
submitted by Jess, age old enough, Lorningland
(July 17, 2011 - 1:56 pm)
(July 17, 2011 - 1:56 pm)
Perhaps there should be some kind of obstacle that requires one of these elements to be non-perfect. If it's fantasy, maybe she could cast a spell on her face to make it pimpled in order to disguise herself, or something like that. Good luck!
(July 17, 2011 - 4:18 pm)
And I fort=got to add, she has a very good sense of hearing and smell. As to why this is absolutely necessary, well, that's a bit hard to explain. I'll try if you'd like, but not here because it will take up about maybe three miles of post. <----exaggeration.
(July 19, 2011 - 9:16 am)
Hm... I understand what you mean, and I have a few possible ideas. No one is perfect, right? Well, she has to have some flaws somewhere! Think of some... I don't know what they could be (take Annabeth for example; Fatal Flaw: Pride). You could do something like that. Not all flaws have to be bad, though!
(July 19, 2011 - 10:01 am)
Like Elizabeth M. I think suggested, give her some flaws. And not tiny flaws, but ones that are noticeable and help shape and distinguish her. (In other words, ones that cause something major in the plot to happen...?)
(July 19, 2011 - 4:39 pm)
That would be a really good idea! You could say that she's fearless, or afraid of lots of things; you could say that she's too proud, or not proud enough; she could be too nice, or too mean, really anything would work! Of course, you can't really be too nice if you're a good fencer, because fencing involves poking people with long pointy sticks, but whatever! It might be good to give her a small fault too, just so she doesn't seem inhuman. (Unless, of course, she isn't human.) Maybe she gets bitten by mosquitoes a lot (like me!!), or she's allergic to peanuts, or she has a big nose. You don't need to get rid of her perfect features, just add on some faults. That way she'll be a lot more interesting.
P.S. Does Mary Sue mean someone perfect?
(July 20, 2011 - 8:30 am)
Yes, a Mary Sue is an utterly perfect girl, usually what the author wishes to be. The male variant is Gary Stu.
(July 20, 2011 - 11:35 am)
Wait. Why the zarking photon (pardon my Klatchian) does she have to be pimple-free with raven's-wing hair and maroon eyes for your plots to work?
Anyway, I can't help but notice that you haven't mentioned the one thing that can really Sue-ify or de-Sue-iy a character: her personality. What kind of person is she? Is she cruel, or arrogant, or selfish, or lazy, or unkind? That could still save her. I'm not saying she has to be a completely awful person, but don't make her personality completely nice and friendly and kind.
Give her flaws, but don't give her flaws that are ridiculously easy to get over. And don't give her flaws that turn out to be wonderfully helpful - you know the type. "She's really stubborn but that's a good thing because it means that she never gives up!"
(July 21, 2011 - 8:18 am)
Um. Well, she has to be pimple-free with raven's-wing hair and maroon yes because of her heritage. See, I know this seems really cliché but it's no, I promise; she's the daughter of the king and queen of a magical land but she lives on earth, so her hair is that color because that is the trademark of the royal family, every person descended from royalty has that hair, and all people from that country have oddly colored eyes, and they just don't pimple, it's a fact. Yes, it's all rather complicated.
(July 21, 2011 - 4:53 pm)
Oh, that makes sense! I really had no idea why she would need maroon eyes and such, but that's a good enough reason for me. :)
@ZNZ: "Zark" is from HGttG, right? I don't remember a language called Klatchian...
(July 21, 2011 - 5:40 pm)
Klatch is one of the major continents on the Discworld, and, in PTerry's words, "Not loosely based on Africa at all. Honestly." The biggest country in the continent is also called Klatch, which is where the phrase "Pardon my Klatchian" comes from.
...TL;DR: saying "Pardon my Klatchian" is like saying "Pardon my French" for Discworld geeks. *nodnod*
Anyway, back on topic: re: Mary Sue: I agree with ZNZ that she needs MORE FLAWS and whatnot. Arrogance is a good one. And selfishness. Especially as she's royalty! ROYALTY IS CRUEL TO PEASANTS, everyone knows that! Also, something like very poor aim to balance out her FENCING SKILLZ!!1! Ummmmm... Let's see...
re: very sensitive hearing: This really isn't all it's cracked up to be. I have AS and my brain has problems editing out background noise, which on the one hand means I can hear really well but on the other means I have sensory overload problems and being surrounded by too much noise (i.e., large crowds, dinner parties, school hallways...) without ample time beforehand to psych myself up for it can trigger really, really bad panic attacks (and by "really, really bad" I mean "sheer, bloody panic replete with hysterical tears, hyperventilation, and tunnel vision lasting for about half an hour." Never have a panic attack). So that's always an option. I imagine hyper-smell would have very similar problems too. ...Because everyone knows perfect people don't have panic attacks.
(July 21, 2011 - 7:44 pm)
About the impossible-to-obtain-pimple thing, maybe just don't mention it?
(July 23, 2011 - 7:46 pm)
Yeah, you don't have to say "She was a girl with pimple free skin" or whatever. You could (when describing her looks) say that she had flawless or fine skin... And have you thought of any flaws for her?
(August 4, 2011 - 8:35 am)