Chatterbox: Inkwell

I’ve been working on a story about a girl named Natalia who is actually an alien that comes to Earth. Her peoples' technology is super advanced, but they also have magical powers, so it's part sci-fi and part fantasy. Some of their buildings are super futuristic looking and stuff, but a few of them are really ancient and they consider these old buildings to be sacred because nothing is made like that anymore. They call them Blessed Chambers. She ends up on Earth because she does something wrong and gets banished from her planet. (So they live in a super futuristic-y-ish world, but every night they go one of the ancient Blessed Chambers for a ritual that seems like something we would hear about from like 500, 600, maybe even 700 years ago or something like that. They rarely use their magic.) Here's the first chapter, feel free to comment:

“Natalia, if you don’t stop ogling at the walls we’ll never get there on time.” Vindol (my annoying older brother) says to me. I glance away from the ornate decorations covering the ancient hallway to glare at Vindol, but then return to staring at the beautiful images. The mosaics on the ceiling show all the sacred stories of the Creator; how he gave our people food and water, and brought us out of darkness. The wooden carvings on my right show our more recent history; how the floods and the Great Storm nearly wiped out our people a hundred years ago, and how one of the survivors found the Scroll that showed us how to do spells and achieve magic. The carved metal panels hanging up on the left are all the written stories, so anyone who comes here can read about all the things that we have lived through over the ages. I sigh in content.

“Vindol, I could stand here until the end of time and just look and read and never do anything else.” I say longingly. Vindol sighs in exasperation.

“We don’t have until the end of time.” He says. “We only have about....” He glances on the small silver watch around his wrist. “Nat, if we don’t get to the ceremony in about 40 seconds we’ll be late!” I sigh again, but this time in annoyance.

“What’s the big deal with these ceremonies, anyway? The Elders talk for a while, the everybody prays silently for a few hours, then we go home, and it’s like that every single night! It’s kinda’ pointless, if you ask me.” I tell Vindol. He frowns slightly, but then turns and starts to walk quickly down the corridor, toward the auditorium, where the ceremony will be held in about 25 seconds. 24. I go after him, my pace a little faster then his own. I catch up to him pretty fast. 20. We walk as fast as we can down the long hallway without running, (running in the sacred buildings is forbidden.) and come around the corner to see the huge-- and beautifully carved-- wooden doors of the auditorium. 13. We struggle to open the huge, heavy door. 9. We walk quickly to our seats. 6. My seat is on the left side of the auditorium, in the same row as all the other girls my age (15). Vindol sits two rows back, but on the right side of the auditorium, with the other 17 year old boys. That’s how the seating goes. Girls and women on the left, youngest in front and oldest in the back, and boys and men on the right, also arranged by age. Infants and small children are aloud to sit in their mothers’ laps. The whole city is required to come to the nightly ceremonies. 3. I slide into my seat as the four Elders come out onto the small stage at the front. 1. I turn my full attention to the Elders. 0.

“Good evening.” One of the Elders addresses the assembled people. There are scattered murmurs of polite replies, but for the most part we are all silent. The Elder continues speaking, going into the long chant that opens the nightly ritual. I sit silently and wish I was back in the beautifully decorated halls of the Blessed Chamber, not in its much plainer-- and more boring-- auditorium.