TNÖ's NaNoWriMo: Ver

Chatterbox: Inkwell

TNÖ's NaNoWriMo: Ver

TNÖ's NaNoWriMo: Version 2011.

The working title for this one is Chaoskampf, because (a) that's what it is and (b) I'm a little obsessed with the German language right now :P

Lesen Sie! MWAH HA HA HA HA HA!

o0O0o

Chapter One: Degeneracy Pressure

Before 

In the beginning, the gods were bored.

They were four.

Bichaan, the eldest, suggested a game. They would build in the endless eternity, and give shape to the void. Nothing would become something, and boredom would naturally cease.

His brother and sisters agreed.

Pulling the hairs from his head, Bichaan began to weave. His spindly fingers spun and twisted through the pale strands, gleaming in the emptiness. Bichaan wove until he held a silvery bag in his hands, woven so tightly that nothing could escape from it.

His sister Confus agreed that it was very beautiful, but she felt it lacked true substance. She took the bag from Bichaan and breathed into it, and caused it to inflate and become an orb. When she laughed, pleased with her handiwork, her laughter crystalized inside the orb, and formed a thin membrane between pockets of air.

Bannan stepped forward now, and took the orb from his sister. He held it in his hands and wept into it, and his tears slid between the walls of laughter and became a multitude of glittering stars and planets suspended in each pocket of air. 

The orb shone with an inner light as Bannan passed it to his sister. Havot examined it carefully for a moment, then expressed her displeasure with her siblings’ creation. It was pretty, yes, but it was also useless, and she was still bored as ever.

Havot looked up at her three siblings and said, “This orb is a piece of all of you. Bichaan, your hair. Confus, your breath. Bannan, your tears. Soon I will add my own piece. Surely, then, it should do more than merely glitter?”

So Havot placed the orb at her feet and plunged her fingers into her own chest. When she pulled her hands away it was slick with her own blood. She lay her hands against the silver orb, and as her blood dripped slowly through the orb, the creation began to sizzle. Steam rose from the orb, and inside the pockets of air began to writhe. The stars spun and the planets burst with new growth. A hundred thousand worlds exploded into life while Havot smiled and bled over them. 

Her siblings watched with delight as their creation reached its fullest potential.

And so our world came into existence, alongside all the other worlds in the vast multiverse. Woven with Bichaan’s own hair, given structure by Confus’ breath, lit and borne upon Bannan’s tears, and fueled by Havot’s lifeblood, our reality prospered while the gods guarded it from the void.

We built temples to the gods and worshipped them, and in return they revealed their natures to us. Bichaan gave us his wisdom. Confus gave us her vivacity. Bannan gave us his order. Havot gave us her chaos.

For a time, we reveled in their gifts. The Order of Enlightenment led us onwards inexorably to greatness, combining the blessings of each god and worshiping each in equal measure. It was a happy time.

Soon it became clear that there was disharmony in the Order of Enlightenment and thus. The chaos and discord sown by disciples of Havot threatened to destroy the unity of the other three factions. As the scale of the sabotage wrought by Havot’s curse became clearer, the rest of the Order of Enlightenment banded together to fight for all they had worked to achieve.

Our world descended into a war of such scale that the gods themselves intervened. Bichaan, Bannan, and Confus each planted their own avatar among us and sought to repair the damage done by the disciples of Havot. For a time, the Order of Enlightenment prevailed against the disciples of Havot.

When at last the disciples of Havot were exiled forever from the Order of Enlightenment, they formed a wicked alliance and created the Order of Discord. They called upon their goddess and made bloody sacrifices to appease her, and she sent her own avatar to fight on their behalf. Unlike the gods of the Enlightenment, who merely empowered champions from the living ranks of mankind, Havot sent to her followers a mighty, fearsome dragon. It poured violet flames down upon the ranks of the Enlightenment and fought with unquenchable bloodlust.

The Order of Enlightenment were nearly wiped out by Havot’s avatar. All hope seemed lost.

One night, the gods of the Enlightenment appeared to the High Priest Adrastos in a dream, and told him of a ritual that would forever rid the worlds of Havot’s influence. He gathered the other High Priests immediately and told them of his dream. As the dawn broke and the dragon of Havot appeared over the horizon with a maw full of violet flames, the Order of Enlightenment performed its last, desperate act. 

The three High Priests followed the instructions given them by the gods, and as they finished the dragon of Havot was consumed by its own flames. As it burnt, screaming, into ashes, Havot herself was bound and chained into the space between worlds, a prison from which she could never escape.

Her murderous screams as she was trapped shook the world with earthquakes and violent storms. The seas boiled and the crops withered, the sun turned blood red and a virulent plague swept over the land. Havot’s final curse lasted for one year, and then the Order of Enlightenment drove the Order of Discord permanently away. The land returned to its former glory.

High Priest Adrastos feared that Havot might one day return to finish her destruction of the world she had once helped to create. He was an old man, but he drew his six sons close and bade them to go out into the world to carry on his legacy. Each created a warrior order to guard the world against the return of the Order of Discord. Knowledge of the ritual that rid the world of Havot passed from generation to generation.

The battle between Enlightenment and Discord became a bad memory, and eventually it and the warrior orders passed into myth. The warrior orders survived, however, and they keep their vigil even as the rest of the world forgets. 

 

o0O0o 

Now. Anyone care to hazard a guess re: the theme I'm using to name chapters?

Also, VAS DO YOU THINK?! *waves arms wildly* 

submitted by TNÖ, age 18, Deep Space
(November 3, 2011 - 7:02 pm)

Love me some creation myths! One punctuation error: I believe that by "and thus. The" you meant "and thus, the". 

submitted by ZNZ, age 14, Thulcandra
(November 3, 2011 - 8:16 pm)

Yay!!!! Loved it!!!!! :D

submitted by Kim A.
(November 4, 2011 - 7:43 am)

Thanks for distracting me from my own NaNo. :P

And 'tis sehr gut!

submitted by Olive
(November 4, 2011 - 10:02 am)

Is that the whole story? Sorry. *stupid question* And the title is awesome!

Yay! You're obsessed with the German language! *high five* 

submitted by Elizabeth M. , age 12, Germany
(November 4, 2011 - 10:29 am)

Very, very good.  I was confused by the "and thus.  The..." also.  My sugestions are

--to show more instead of telling towards the end. 

--When you say that the battle became a bad memory at the end, it is a little anticlimatic, if that is the right word--it doesn't sound right. 

-- "...as the rest of the world forgets" should probably be "...as the rest of the world forgot." 

--I'm hoping that you'll bring in the characters of the gods more, and maybe explain their names.

 

It's wonderful!  really believable as a creation myth!

 

*wishes I could do NaNo :( 

submitted by Amy G., age 15
(November 6, 2011 - 3:34 pm)